"Fireman"

“Firemen”

By John Smith

 

1.

            Engine 19. That’s what I worked on for nearly fifteen years before finally retiring. Before I finally decided that I have had enough. I remember that day. “The Day Of Doom” many people call it. Some people even call it “The Day Of Revelations”. I don’t know that I would call it that…but I can agree that it was a day of fiery damnation.

            I remember lying in bed when I was a little kid. My mom, Heather Myers, used to sit on a wooden stool by my bed side and read me bedtime stories. Sometime she would read me stories from a children’s Bible. She would always rub place her hand at the top of my head and say, “Chris, honey, are you ready for your bedtime story?” I never hesitated to answer. I would always nod my head really strong with excitement.

The story that stuck out the most in my mind was the story of the end of the world. I never remembered everything about it…but I did remember the part about the world would be destroyed by fire and brimstone.

            When we first got the call, we were all sitting down eating dinner in the fire department kitchen. The bell went off and we quickly sprang into action. We got suited up in our gear and then boarded Engine 19.

            When we pulled out of the station we were stroke with silence. We saw what looked like some sort of twisted interpretation of Vincent van Gogh’s infamous painting “Starry night”. The sky was beautiful but at the same time terrifying.

            “What is it Chris?” Darrel, a fellow fireman and one of my best friends, asked me as he gazed up at the sky in a dreamlike state. I just sat there and stared up at the sky speechless. The tell the truth, I honestly didn’t know what was up there. The dark blue sky was filled with luminous probe shaped ships with lightning bolts of fire shooting out from them to the crowd of people standing in the street.

            “I don’t know Darrel! I really don’t know!” I stated. The fire truck continued to drive through out the town when I began to see something strange. One of the large star-like probes began to fall from the sky. It looked like a shooting star as it fell from the sky and crashed in a field just outside of the town.

            “Jack! One crashed in the hay field just out side the town! It’s going to start a damn forest fire if we don’t get there right away!” I shouted to the driver. Jack shoved his foot to the floorboard.

            “What crashed? What are they? Could it be just a meteor shower?” Jack asked me. I glanced up to the rear view mirror only to catch his eye. That was the most fear I have ever seen in his eyes for as long as I knew him. Another lightning bolt of fire truck.

            “S**t!” Jack shouted out as he quickly stomped on the breaks and turned the steering wheel. We each grabbed ahold of something and to each other as the truck began to spiral out of control and then began to flip over. Engine 19 flipped over and over three times before finally coming to rest on its roof.

            “Is everybody alright?” I asked. Everyone seemed okay.

            “What the hell was that?” Darrel asked.

            “I don’t know…but I don’t think it’s a damn meteor shower!” I shouted out with frustration. We all began to unbuckle ourselves and climb out of what was left of Engine 19. On the other side of the road where we were was hay field was some sort of luminous unidentified flying object crashed in the tall grass. We slowly began to make our way towards it when we began to see movement in it.

            “What the f**k?” Darrel shouted out. A long extra terrestrial like tentacle then reached out of the ship and grabbed Darrel by the leg. Darrel fell to the ground and the tentacle began to drag him towards the ship. “Help! Help me!” Darrel shouted out with desperation. I leaped forwards and grabbed him by the arm. Jack and the rest of the crew got behind me and we began to pull Darrel away from the creature. The creature didn’t even consider stopping as it began to pull harder ripping Darrel’s arm out of its socket. Darrel’s body was dragged in the ship. Everything was silent for a moment, and then we began to hear Darrel’s screams. He screamed out for a moment then the screams eventually died out. Jack walked back to the truck and grabbed an axe.

            “What the hell are you doing?” I asked him.

            “What the hell does it look like I’m doing? I’m going to go in there and kill those fuckers!” Jack declared as he began to walk towards the ship. A lout screech coming from the ship stopped him. I then reached up and grabbed him by the shoulder and turned him to face me.

            “Look, if you go in there you’re not going to kill whatever’s in there. You’re just going to get killed to.” I whispered to him. We then began to hear movement from inside the spacecraft again and we turned of face it. The creature began to crawl from the wreckage. With Darrel’s blood covering it’s face, the creature let out a loud beastly growl. The creature just stood there and stared at us for a moment until we noticed that an orange colored light has fallen upon us. We liked up to notice large star looking space ship was hovering above us. It began to land on the ground and a small door opened up on the side of it. A man walked out of it and walked up to us.

            The man had a gray beard and gray hair. He was dress in a suit and was wearing glasses with a black frame. He looked over to the creature beside the wrecked space ship and motioned for it to get on the ship. The creature did and the man looked back at us. He looked up at a tree just about a hundred moments away. He glared at it for a moment before it finally burst into flames. He sent a powerful message without even speaking a word.

            “I could always use a few good firemen.” The man said. Jack and I looked at each other for a moment in shock. “You’re not like the rest of these mortals. You are Firemen! We need people like you where I’m from! These people don’t need you! They don’t respect you…not like I do! Come with me to my world. Where firemen are looked up to a hero’s! They are looked up to as Gods!” The man said to us. When thought about it for a moment.

            “What if we decline?” I asked the man. The man looked across down to the water tower and it burst into flames. He then looked back at us. Jack pushed me aside in fear and began to make his way towards the spacecraft.

            “I’m sorry Mr. But I can’t go! I have a wife and kid! I have to decline.” I said. The man sighed with disappointment.

            “I’m sorry to hear that!” He said.

            “What are you going to do to me?” I asked him. He thought for a moment and then looked back to me.

            “I’m going to let you live! I respect you Chris! Maybe nobody else does. But I do. Good luck!” The man said as he turned his back to me and began to walk away.

            “Good luck with what?” I asked him.

            “The end of your world! You have a fiery damnation on your hands” The man said. He loaded the spacecraft and it took off. The other ships followed the mother ship leaving behind nothing but a burning apocalyptic world.

 

            It took months to put out all of the fires. By the time we did, 90% of the world’s population had died…including my wife and son. Sometimes I sit here and think about what might have been if I would have gone with them. Maybe this world was meant to be dead. Maybe he was right.

Copyright 2014 by John Smith

Courtesy of The Enchanted Press

A division of TTP Entertainment

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Reviews

[Delmar Cooper]

Thank you for your story Firemen". It was sent tp me by Cody and I would have read and commented a month ago but I had some heath issues.

Speaking candidly the story seems rushed and lacks organization. It needs proofreading for errors that distract the reader. The transistions from past to present are abrupt and distracting. Information is either too much or too little and appears in some cases inappropriate. The comparison to the Van Gough painting could be an excellent device but it is wasted as currently used. Do you really mean "infamous?"

I suggest you simply tell the story as you would to a friend, allowing your narrator's feeling to show but making no assumptions about the situation that aren't supported by evidence (narrative exposition) let reader/friend draw his own conclusions based on the dialogue and story you reveal.

I hpoe this is helpful.
Cooper

[Jack Buckner]

It was helpful and I hope you get to feeling better.

[Nia Hope]

I really enjoyed this, definitely not what i was expecting though :)

[Jack Buckner]

Thanks! :)

[A. Amos]

Simply splendid, enjoyed the read and thanks for sharing

[Jack Buckner]

Thank you for taking the time to read and review it!

[A. Amos]

You're most welcome my friend

[M. L. Zane]

Hello, John. I was definitely late on the review, but Cody summons and I arrive. Song of Sinai took up a lot of my time, but it's now out on Amazon. Check it out. Kindle edition only right now, but gotta start somewhere. I could use some book traffic.

Anyway, let me say upfront that this is one of your weaker pieces. Though I like the dark and horrible tone you're going with, it moves too fast for its own good, making it very difficult for the reader to establish an emotional connection with the events contained within. I strongly recommend stretching this out and slowing it down. More time as a child, more time messing around in the firehouse, and slow down the tentacle. Oh, and I wouldn't say "extraterrestrial". Let the reader figure that part out. The adjective works against you here.

I would also like to see a bit more sensory detail. We need to really see the action in a sci-fi story, and the bizarre sounds and visuals define decent sci-fi from good sci-fi. Let's get more of that good stuff.

Finally, the grammar needs a little work. I'll give you an example, but in depth editing doesn't come free. "Day of Doom" would only have one mark instead of two. So, 'Day of Doom', instead of "Day of Doom". Save these for dialogue, or it becomes confusing.

Anyway, it's good to be back. Check out Song of Sinai on Amazon. I think you'll like it a lot.

Regards,
-M.L. Zane

[Jack Buckner]

I'll check out your book. Thanks for taking the time to read "Firemen"

[OctaBrain]

I'm not sure why people are giving you such praise on this.

This story doesn't make any sense. The guy in the suit says he respects fireman but this alien tentacle thing that he has control over just ate one of them. I see you are from New York so i'm a little surprised that you'd say that firmen aren't respected, though, this could be an alternate reality than our own.

The last line is, "Maybe he was right." which doesn't make sense either because the guy never said anything about "the world is meant to be dead". And it's just too obserd that this guy that makes things burst into fire would live in a world that holds firemen up as hero's.

The whole peice is littered with typo's and bad writting. You refer to Van Gogh's art as being "infamous". It's a "famous" paining, not "infamous". Before the first truck is hit, you wrote "Another lightning bolt of fire truck." which doesn't make sense and i know this i just being picky, but you say the firetruck rolled three times before landing on it's roof. Wouldn't that be three and a half times?

I'm stopping there, but there's plenty more to correct.

I know this all seems harsh, but please keep in mind, i'm just pointing out what is there in the text.

[Jackson H. Harley]

Great story with an interesting plot, although not a genre I usually read I thoroughly enjoyed this, nice write :)

[Jack Buckner]

Thank you!

[Angel]

Weird piece! It caught my interest, but sort of left me wanting to know more.

[Jack Buckner]

Thank you for reading Angel!

[Blue]

This is excellent and your writing style is very professional. You deserved to be published.

[Jack Buckner]

Thank you so much!

[rottinghexgrl]

this is very good. I am normally not a fan of science fiction, but this was amazing. You have a great talent.

[Jack Buckner]

Thank you!

[Jay Steitler]

A nice science fiction style piece. I enjoyed the initial travel back in time, to childhood. "some sort of" equals unidentified to me, so far as the ship is concerned. I would word it "some sort of flying object", if you want to keep the phrase. Other than that, a great piece.

[Jack Buckner]

Thank you Jay!