Early spring, 2004

Second chapter dealing with the modern idea of the career and the American lifestyle.

　
　
My date of separation from the air force was January the 25, 2004. I was back in Yuma staying at my mothers house while I searched for actual career opportunities. I had honorable discharge from the service and I was still waiting for a job to open with my dads company. Kind of funny how he wanted me to get the training I received from the air force so he could help me start a career similar to his. Even funnier that six months earlier he had helped my cousin Bobby to get a job and he didn't have anything close to the level of training I had. At the time I had never really thought about it.

I had a job working for my grandfathers honey company , I had been there for at least two months. It's pretty much the shittiest job I've ever had, and I've had a lot. I had been doing this damn job off and on since I was thirteen and it never seemed to get better. Honestly it never even changed. I was paid seven dollars an hour to wear a full body jumpsuit with a cloth net over my head in one hundred degree weather; all the while carrying and stacking sixty to eighty pound honey boxes, five high on the back of his worn out old flat bed. Mind you this was always in the desert patches of soft sand many times up hill, while the ratty old equipment still let bees in to sting you. Damn I hated that s**t. It' basically an exercise in endurance, hardly seems worth it but a job is a job. At least that's what everyone kept telling me, basically the people who've never done that job for very long. I soon picked up that little mantra and it kept me going after all I had a wife, a five month old son and an outrageous car payment at home.

The sun was floating low, burning up the early afternoon sky. I peeled off the stinking cover alls and threw them into the tool box on the back of the old truck. I looked up at the sky thinking, "Damn it's so hot, what the hell's the point?".
I heard my grandfather yelling. " Hey Johnny." I tried to pretend I didn't hear him, I wasn't up for the usual game of twenty questions about my employment. That didn't stop him.
"So Johnny how's the old' job hunt goin'?" He started.
"Eh you know pop, if you don't know someone you really don't have a chance." I retorted and tried to look busy in my fruitless attempt to avoid this whole thing. You see Yuma like so many other small towns there is a very limited job market. Between immigrants and all the locally owned and ran companies it's hard for an outsider such as my self to really get a chance. Not much chance for a random loser to get a foot in the door.
"Well �" He continued in his usual slow old man fashion. " have you tried the test station?" He proceeded to tell me how the son of a friend recently started working out there and how good he was doing. The kid wasn't even qualified, blah, blah, blah. " yea pop I tried out there already." I lied. "I haven't heard s**t."
He turned and walked up toward the front porch and motioned with a hand for me to follow. Pulling out a cigarette he lighted it as he sat and I took the seat across from him. I just sat staring towards my car waiting for him to start as he looked out toward the rows of chicken coops and the orange groves behind me.
"Well John you could always try old Jimmies tire shop." I was looking at him but not really paying attention. Mainly just watching his damn cigarette dance, ever since I can remember he never really d=takes a drag off his cigs just lets them hang and burn down to two inches of ash. The funny thing is it never falls even as it bounces in rhythm with his words.
"I'm heading over later and I'll talk to Jimmy. Ya know Johnny I been using 'ol Jimmy's shop since he opened it some twenty years ago." He looked back toward me as he spoke leaning forward in his chair some.
"Really pop?" I spoke up this time a little more excited "Thanks!"
"Yea." He replied. "just go up to him and tell him who you are. I'm sure he'll find something for you to do."
"Thanks again pop." I said as I stood up and walked toward my car.
"Johny just go tomorrow, we ain't doin' s**t anyway." He yelled after me.
I nodded as I kept walking to the car. I hopped in the car and cranked it, just sitting a bit waiting for the ac to cool down. Putting the car in gear I gave a wave and smiled as I left the little Subaru's motor growling as the gravel and dust flew behind me. All I kept thinking was: "Cool a mechanics shop I can deal with that maybe I'll get a helpers job?" I headed home with new found optimism, maybe it was the change I needed.

"John wake up, it's eight AM." Were the words that woke me the next morning.
Chelle had been My alarm clock for the last four years and today were no different.
"O.k. baby I'm getting up." I grunted as I rolled over to see her smiling face. My infant son jay was still asleep lying in his crib, damn I wish I were him. Still so many possibilities and none of this bullshit responsibility. I went into the bath quietly and undressed. I lean against the shower wall thinking about the days upcoming events and dreading every bit of it. The scalding water running down my chest and back turning my skin a scarlet color as if painted. Stood thinking about the power job with my father, hating myself for believing, hating him for getting my hopes up. Hating but all the while hoping he would still keep up the end of his bargain. I toweled off, dressed and headed out the door for jimmies still in a state of dread.

It took about three days for me to get a call but it finally happened. Little Jimmy was the owners twenty year old son. He was a thick kid about two hundred and twenty pounds and only five foot eight. Although he seemed much older probably due to the thinning hair on his big, round, low shaved head.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Yea John? It's Jimmy from the shop."
"Yea it's John." I didn't know what else to say. I expected the worst as usual.
"Good, well I talked to dad and there's been a change in plans."
Well s**t, I thought, well so much for that job.
"My dad wants you to work at his shop." He explained.
A few days earlier I had talked to Jimmy, the older version. He had said I would be working at his sons location because his had no openings and juniors was only a block or so away.
"Cool Jimmy" I replied. "So when do I start?"
Suddenly I began to get excited at the thought of working for the actual owner.
"Well it's kinda late today so you can just come in tomorrow, how's seven sound?"
"Perfect thanks."
"No problem John, goodbye."
"Bye ." I said as I walked away dropping the phone in search of Chelle. She had to hear the news!

The next morning I pulled into the shop parking lot bright and early at a quarter to seven.
I wandered in through the front door with a professional attitude trying to look like I belonged.
"Good morning, can I help you?" I was startled by a feminine voice behind me.
"Yes I'm John, I'm supposed to start today Jimmy told me to report here."
I Watched her as she turned and headed toward an open filing cabinet. Round a*s bouncing the whole way.
I continued staring as she looked through the paper filled cabinet. She was maybe five foot two and very shapely albeit a little plump. She was actually pretty except for that lazy eye but it really didn't take much from her look. " Ah yes John." I guess she found what she was looking for, I tried to look interested.
"Dad said you'd be coming in and left these for you to fill out" She turned suddenly still talking and caught me staring directly at the perfectly soft round a*s. I've always had that habit I was a little embarrassed but she didn't seem to mind. She just smiled a little and started.
"Its just basic tax info so when your done you can hand it back to me and head out back."
I grabbed the papers and sat at an empty desk and was done shortly.
I handed them back and she smiled again " Okay just go out back and ask for Alex, he will get you started." I smiled a little as I nodded and walked past toward the door.
"Oh and you can call me Shauna."
"Thanks again Shauna" I replied without turning back around.

I made my way slowly out to the commercial vehicle side of the shop, all the while explore enough to kill my curiosity. I walked out the side door and saw an average looking Mexican guy standing there with a very impatient face on. I walked directly up to him and asked "Know where I can find Alex?"
"You found him ." He replied not really looking at me.
"Well I'm John, the new guy." I said as I outstretched my arm to shake his hand.'
"Bout damn time Jeff." He snarled turning away from me and walking " Follow me."
"it's John." I called as I followed him to a huge fenced part of the back lot. It was a hideous f*****g mess, old tires, new tires, trash, oil barrels. Just s**t strewn all over. "OK Jeff." He started again.
"All you have to do is straighten this area out."
"Stack the new tires, throw the old ones in the dumpster marked tires and clean out all the trash." He turned back toward me and asked.
"Think you can handle that, Jeff?"
"It's John." I said "And yea separate and throw away I got it." He just stood and stared at me for a second, as if were a circus freak or a bum. Just disgust was all I read. He didn't reply just turned and headed back toward the shop. "Wait" I called. "How much am I getting paid?"
He stopped and turned smiled a little and said.
"Minimum wage is what everyone here starts at, no one is special."
"Right, thanks." I turned and got directly to work. I stewed about this mans attitude all day, who the hell did he think he was? What was his f*****g problem? I didn't expect any special treatment but damn six dollars and hour? My grandfather was the cheapest man I knew and he paid a dollar more. Well I guess he was the cheapest not anymore. I was Completely black by four thirty covered in tire grime and dust when Alex came waddling back out. His hair still neat and shiny and his shirt still clean. He was probably in his mid thirties
Basically just an average Mexican guy, accent and all. About five eight and a dark reddish brown , like clay, from years of working outside I'm sure.
"Well grab your s**t if you have any and locked the gate." He turned before he finished talking he didn't even look at me. What was this guys f*****g problem?
"Okay goodnight." I replied still trying to be nice. "see ya tomorrow at seven."
I got no reply, I thought of picking up a rock and chucking it at his damn head, but a job is a job and I needed this right now. I walk out through the shop toward my car and the parking lot, head down worn out and not yet broken I just sat for a few minutes. The sun burned orange on the horizon then purple and finally all was black a*s I drove home. The sun had set on my first day as a second rate, minimum wage loser and somehow I knew it would never get any easier.

After about two weeks of tire sorting and truck unloading I was completely fed up. I had found the owner Jimmy, as condescending as that a*****e Alex. What had I done to them? I was in the service for four years, discharged honorably, I had done everything they asked without question. I was just here until my career started. I just had to hold on, a job is a job and that's all I need right now. I reasoned myself through every day. Everyday I hoped and prayed my father would have some good news for me. Everyday I was more let down hoping still hadn't paid off. It was Friday and I was on the commercial side mounting a tire on a rim when Jimmy ran in out of breath. He seemed to appear behind me out of no where, like David Copperfield. Only fatter and uglier but still magical.
"John, what are you doing?" almost frantic he asked.
"Oh hey I'm just trying to learn some stuff out here." I didn't finish before he cut me off.
"Well drop that s**t and follow me, something urgent has come up." He led me away walking back toward the damn cage of now neatly stacked tires I'd been working in for the last two weeks.
He looked around hurriedly as he started to explain the big problem.
"You see , the EPA called today. They will be out sometime soon for an inspection."
"OK" I followed and continued to listen.
"I need you to clean up the oil holding tanks, the oil traps inside and the compressor area."
Jesus, this s**t here just goes from bad to worse. I kept nodding and listening.
I can't believe how much I've grown to hate this place and these people. I'm just their goddamned minimum wage slave. They hired me because it's cheaper than a real janitor!
"So where's the soap and s**t?" I snapped. I must've caught him off guard because he just looked at me blankly for a second and finally pointed back toward the shop before scurrying off.
"I'll be back to check in a couple hours" He called never stopping or turning.

I got to work directly, fuming mad the entire time. I've felt like a complete loser for the last two weeks
These a******s have used me and taken advantage of me. I'm just a f*****g mule to these guys I do the s**t that no one else wants to do. I stayed lost in my Jimmy's tire hate thoughts letting them power me through the work. All the while alternating between Jimmy and Alex's exactly opposite instructions and smug attitudes as if I'm supposed to read their damn minds. They both looked at me and talked to me as if I were some kind of subnormal intelligence retard. I scrubbed , mopped, shoveled, used more soap for Jimmy less for Alex. I was about to snap but only barely holding on by thinking. "What's my family going to say?"
I have Michelle and the boy, I need to stick it out. Something better will come along.

I made it to the last task, finally, the compressor, when it happened. The lower pipe below the tank was completely covered in grease and the floor was at least an inch deep in oil. I soaped and flushed for almost an hour until it was finally presentable. I noticed a section of pipe maybe two inches long covered in grease and white electrical tape. The old grease must have been holding the tape together because the more I scrubbed the more air escaped and the louder the hissing air became. It steadily hissed louder and louder like a huge pissed off lizard or something I can't believe no one noticed. Suddenly a huge bang like a twelve gauge shot over my head in that little closet sent me reeling. I fell backwards onto my a*s yelling every obscenity I can think of while dazed and hearing impaired. The whole damn pipe had blown in two separate pieces, excellent repair job. I could still barely hear and all the air had escaped form the giant cylinder. I saw Alex running toward me as I stood up from the muddy ground.
"What the f**k did you do? Get outta my way let me see!"
Still awe struck I began to explain.
" I�I�"He cut me off
"You broke that damned pipe!"
"I� It was alr�" He interrupted again and I'm pissed. No concern for the explosion or the fact I could've lost an eye or my damn hearing.
"Are you f*****g retarded?" I just stared at him mouth agape in awe that he would even say that.
He went on. "Well you shut down the whole shop and all you had to do was clean up so old grease!"
That was all I could take "Yes I'm retarded, I intentionally broke that piece of s**t your dumb a*s couldn't fix right to begin with." I kept going "I'm retarded for taking this job where you and the owner are complete jackasses and treat everyone like s**t. I'm not your f*****g n****r!" I couldn't stop it was all pouring out like someone had broken my pipe too. I took a step toward him and continued as he knelt in the closet still staring at me. "Oh one more thing," I said as I smiled a little. I took a step toward him and kicked the bucket full force at him, Sloshing all the greasy soapy water out onto him. Coating him shiny from knee to head.
"I f*****g quit!" I turned and walked straight out to my car, and drove away never looking back but what he right?

Am I retarded for doing that and quitting or is he for wasting his life in that place with no future? At least he's still bringing home a steady, me, I'm anything but steady. Still I couldn't help but feel proud of the way I acted. It doesn't make sense because I will have to try and explain to Michelle and my mom , eventually lying. I'd have to go back to sand and beestings and the job hunt. Yet I've never felt more relieved than running away and quitting that hell hole. I've never had a dream to be anything or real drive to accomplish much. This day was the day I started the long rough road of becoming just what I'd always wanted. Nothing.

Author's Note

Any help please.