HEART GRAVITY

Love's game.

Heart Gravity

The pull between confused mind and heart,

The strong power that grabs at love's start.

The experience of pains past holds fast,

And its echoes nail you strong to the mast.

The storm attempts to sweep you overboard,

Soft affections offered freely Oh my Lord!

Beware entering the red sea of complexity,

Where you flounder to escape heart's gravity.

Author's Note

One I wrote a while back when I first started but forgot to add.
Recently re discovered in a long lost computer file.
Its interesting looking back on old work isnt it? The old memories and thoughts you had in creation...........

Reviews

[SyberRose]

The pull between confused mind and heart,

The strong power that grabs at love's start

The power of love...usually a chemistry attraction or is it a chemical reaction..

My favorite lines and its always nice to find a poem that you forgot about...especially when
you don't remember writing it...as we change our styles all the time...Nicely done John

[PublishingAgent]

Not sure what you were trying to convey here and quite frankly its crap! You can see its one of your early poems, thankfully you have vastly improved and your in my top ten of WC writers now.

[John Phoenix Hutchinson.]

Thank you????? I think?????

[Princeps Angelus Mors]

Admiral Ackbar says "it's a troll!"

[PublishingAgent]

Well it is crap! I wish some of you so called reviewers would tell the truth rather than kissing peoples arses all the time! Sorry John I like your other work and normally review you well if it warrants it so.

[ríða andlit]

Original: "Not sure what you were trying to convey here and quite frankly its crap! You can see its one of your early poems, thankfully you have vastly improved and your in my top ten of WC writers now."

Fixed: "Not sure what you were trying to convey, here, and, quite frankly, it's crap! I can see it's one of your earlier poems, thankfully, you have vastly improved. You are in my top ten of WC writers, now."

Based on your rudimentary handle of the English language, I'd say you're not fit to review a second grader let alone anyone on this site.

[Princeps Angelus Mors]

I flagged him/her for removal, Red. I'm kind of tired already, of this trolls/puppet-accounts/bored people.

[John Phoenix Hutchinson.]

Well am happy for any sort of review rather than personal sniping. That aside lovely people is this crap? I would rather know the truth, especially as it was one of my first poems from roundabout this time last year in fact, when I started to learn how to write better.

[Princeps Angelus Mors]

Certainly not perfect, but not crap either.

[ríða andlit]

"Hearts Gravity," needs an apostrophe, as in, "Heart's Gravity," outside of that, it's lovely.

[John Phoenix Hutchinson.]

Am on the ' ,thank you.

[Princeps Angelus Mors]

Also, instead of "Oh" I'd go with "O" as to suggest an invocation.

[John Phoenix Hutchinson.]

Yes I can see that but I didn't want to invoke God as such. "Oh my Lord",is something I guess we British say as an exclamation. As in the fact the lady offered her virtues to me unexpectedly and took me by surprise.

[Princeps Angelus Mors]

1. Either "The strong power that grabs as love starts," or "The strong power that grabs at love's start," feel better to the eye and ear.
2. "The experience of pains past holds fast," See what I did there? The comma kind of breaks the flow.
3. The subject of this segment is "experience" so I'd go "And its echo nails you strong to the mast."
4. I think instead of using "you", "one" or even "me" are more adequate.
5. Understood your point here, I'd suggest then only removing the period before "Oh my Lord!" It breaks the flow.

These are all my notes on your poem.

[John Phoenix Hutchinson.]

Typo fixed thanks.

[Princeps Angelus Mors]

Anytime.

[PublishingAgent]

It's still crap! L.O.L. Only Joking John honest, could not resist sorry.

[John Phoenix Hutchinson.]

Yes I can see that............

[Princeps Angelus Mors]

I wonder what is it that this sad little man/woman is trying to accomplish.

[John Phoenix Hutchinson.]

Her irony was quite funny and in defence she does normally give a good review. Perhaps this poem touched a nerve? Love does funny things to a person does it not?

[ríða andlit]

She's been leaving s****y reviews all day.

[Princeps Angelus Mors]

I flagged her twice already.

[John Phoenix Hutchinson.]

Must be my British reserve, stiff upper lip thing or something, as am not overly offended by the fact she thinks my poem is crap, she may be right after all. I don't advocate everyone should go round saying this poem is crap, that poem is crap etc. I would like to see more critical but polite reviews if am honest. I mean if you took the majority of reviewers here at their word it would make us all Shakespeare's.

[Princeps Angelus Mors]

That I agree. I am not a fan either of unjustified praise, also. Myself, I try to deliver my honest opinion in a kind manner. However, my Latin blood is unforgiving of this kind of abuse.

[Prritiy]

Its beautiful, liked it... and yes memories like this warm the heart.

[John Phoenix Hutchinson.]

Sunday is a good day for heart warming :) Thanks P

[Prritiy]

yes, of course :)
but i will like it anyday too :)

[lothlorienwriter]

The Ladies will really like this I think! One of your early pieces or not John this is a very powerful poem. It may be only 8 lines long but has such depth and really packs a punch.

Past loves nailing you to the mast.

[John Phoenix Hutchinson.]

The mast the symbol of experience.