GateKeeper

A Book by John

Kalder Suran is to be executed for betraying the Gatekeepers caste, he relives the events that lead up to his death and the reasoning behind his betrayal.

Chapters

© 2017 John

Author's Note

About the writing in general, what do you think of the opening, what do you think of the dialogue

My Review

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Reviews

Azmain Nisak

There are all kinds of interesting things you bring up. The "casteless" idea is interesting. Is it analogous to the idea of castes or social classes in ancient Indian communities? Also, is the main character a male or female? Where is the story actually taking place? Is it set in a mythological fantasy world or is it meant to exist somewhere in the real world.

I think you did a good job portraying the aggressive arrogant behavior of the guard. You provided interesting facial characteristics for the man (Harrison) currently in prison with Kalder.

I think that the image you were striving to conjure up was that of a prisoner with an interesting backstory but with an inevitable death sentence. I'm sure you already have some ideas of what that backstory could be. There are many sources of inspiration for progressing the story. In particular, this piece brings to mind the death of Socrates or Galileo Galilei and the idea of a "righteous" criminal who stood against the evils of his time.

But, of course, there are many other ways of approaching this. Aside from some grammatical errors, it looks like a good start. The joke, "I killed 30 guards with an apple," was a bit strange and almost comical.

Also, if you have the time, take a look at the story I recently posted. I'm new to Writer's Cafe and could use some feedback on my writing.