The Prophecy

I
Womb, a man born with fate.
To whom the fire in this empire,
put to end, acquaired to change.
By the prophecy that was written
before this nation brought to its existence.
Arms shall decieve many,
truth prevailed by the existence of
inequitable just.

The man shall named Dreadon;
From the land of the Gods
he came to save God's people.
By his coming,
there will be warring between lands.
Powerful will kill those weak
in front of the king whose eyes are in darkness.
Proclaims their hold to the lives of the innocents,
to kill them if they wanted to be.

Dreadon, grown from the force of his father
and his feet was on the mountain of lions,
The land of revion,
A land between the mouth of lake sali
and the passage way to the shore of the    sea.

Father! For so many years.
You trained me so hard;
I'm almost dying but;
Still I don't know
what is this for.
Am I lived to kill?
By what reason?

My son! I ask for your forgiveness.
If you suffered because of what I did.
I just want you to be prepared
for in your arms lies a great responsibility.
I know, this time, It's hard for you to
understand.
But I know, someday, you will realize
that what I did is right.

But father! Tell me about that responsibility?
is it that big to lay my whole life to it?
I want to understand father,
Please let me understand.
Maybe I'm not old enough,
Maybe it's hard for me to understand.
Please father, tell me for me to know.
for me to know where this preparation goes.

My son, hear me!
You are the key to eternal peace.
This might start in bloodshed;
Many will die in the battlefield;
Many children and wives
will be left alone with tears.
My son, It's hard for me!
See you killing unrighteous men;
All I want you to be a man,
Not in war nor in glory;
A man of peace.

So father why we let it be
if you are against to it?
O father! It cannot be!
O father! It shouldn't be!

Dreadon, can't you still understand?
This is not about me nor about you.
This is about the prophecy,
The prophecy, written by the Gods.

II
Onto the tides of the sea.
A thousand fleet of ships
touches the shore of the empire of Juro.
And a great number of warriors
walk towards the sands of the great empire.
From the north they came;
They came from the land of Imus.
A land of great warriors and immortal souls.
Of which anyone who tried to fight against them were became a victim in their haze.

The king of Juro, King Saoreon, send his servant
to warned them not to attempt,
touches the gate of the empire.
The Imusians, never stop.
They stab the servant with their swords.
Indicating that they didn't recognized
the power of the empire.

The king was in furious.
He sent his great mens and generals
to defeat the intruders in the battle.
And to throw them out of their territory.

The battle began.
Both forces shows no mercy between them.
Many fell in the sand
where their blood poured out onto the sea.
Many fell in the ground
where their blood spilled in the soil.
And there were spits of blood everywhere you goes.
The heads of those slain in the battle split out to the body.
And the battle goes on,
Days and nights without a rest.
Many slain bodies are from the land of Juro.

9 days later,
The empire was in trouble when the intruders managed to enter the city.
The Jurian cavalry was paralyzed.
Their archers were not matched on the Imusian's cannon.
And their king sees the horrible defeat of his empire.
The war almost ended, and the victory was on the Intruder's side.

I am the king of this land.
You have no authority
to stand in our soil.
Unless you can defeat me
in this battle with my head off to my body
hanging on the gates of my palace.

Brave king, I am the king of Imus.
By my sword, your name will be written in every walls in your beloved palace.
Written in blood.
While, your body will be thrown into the lake and the crocodiles will eat you wholy.
Nothing will be left even your shadows in this empire.
This empire will be ours.
Forever.

As a king, you!
King of Imus,
I challenge you in a battle.
Between you and I.
You, will represent your land;
And I'll represent mine.
Whoever wins between us.
He can have this empire,
wholy;
From the depth of this soil
'till the tip of the sky.
He can have it,
And be the king of this empire.

Oh! Your highness!
Are you insane?
How could you rule this empire,
if you only have less men in your side.
You better surrender now
if you want to live for your life.
I will let you see
how your people bows at me.

Deciever, get out of me!
Tell me?
Is it better to die than to be a slave?
Yes,
Is it better to fight than to be a slave?
Yes,
I'll tell you,
It's better to die than to be your slave.
For at least I die with honor to my men.
So what now?
Do you accept my chalenge?

Reviews

[Jack Wolfe]

I originally saved your chapter ‘Ruins to Death’ for reading, but when I realized it was part of a book, I decided to back track and read the opening. This is an interesting format, it almost gives the feeling of someone reading from a scroll, foretelling prophesies . . .

There are a few grammatical mistakes, e.g. ‘if you want to live for your life’ this is redundant, and misspelled words, e.g. chalenge (challenge) , and a few places in need of caps, but overall, it’s an interesting tale, the battle between two great kings for an empire . . . I will do my best to get to later installments.

[J.C. Rabanes]

Thanks for reading... yup, I also see those mistakes and I'm working on it... I'll rephrase this after I finished the book. thanks man.

[Coyote Poetry]

I'm off to work tonight. I will return in four days and read this story. The first chapter was very good. You have my attention.
Coyote

[La Tigresa]

Hey! This isn't bad. :) However, there are a few things I'd like to say.

I have to admit I had a hard time following the chapter. There were times where I had to do a double-take because I had no idea what was going on. There are a few grammatical mistakes and some strange choices for wording at times, but overall I find it interesting to read a story written in this form. I give it points for creativity and originality at the very least. It wasn't bad at all except for the aforementioned flaws. I would just do a proofread and do some minor editing to make it slightly more understandable.

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Never read a story in this form. When I read it I was thinking about the Iliad from Homer. You have to get used to it, but in the end it reads very well. Interesting also, a war between two great kings, always an opportunity for heroism. Liked it.

[The Black Warrior]

I really like this chapter. Very interesting. It contains a lot of details, which makes it easy for the reader to visualize what is going on. I felt like I was watching a war movie, it had me in suspense. This is well written and perfectly put together.

Thank you for sharing...

~Suk