Butterfly

<3

The sun´s golden strings

Streaming through your transparent wings

The sky widens every hour

Your landing on another flower

Gold, silver, blue, yellow, red

Every colour God has painted

In the air you leave a thread

Of peace in a world so gray

When People say

We're only meant to live and die

I look up at the sky

God painted our heart and soul

He made me beautiful

Just as he made the butterfly

Reviews

[Patrick Henry]

Beautiful poem, Johanna!! As if to find yourself in a graceful pose by a meadow to only be but a temporary witness to something so beautiful and so simple. The start to this lovely poem was perfect. "Sun's golden strings" is a wonderful way to introduce both the sense of sight and sound. The sound being... no sound. That's gorgeous. It's romantic and for one's perspective to view this moment, it leads into this balance between the wings of the butterfly and that of the gold from the sun. Both colors, even if one transparent in nature, are quite ingenious to place together. One does not outshine the other, but rather enhance the beauty that transpires. After the first line, the word "streaming" carries the "ing" at the end which makes it a bit tricky to go from the word "strings" to the next line at the first with "streaming", also ending in the ing. That line, also, ends in the "ing". If the word streaming had dropped the ing at the end, and read "streams", there is not break in the beat and does not take away from reaching the end of the second sentence. I Love the 2 "the" words being two lines apart. As one thought "the sun" gets its stage, the butterfly takes its entrance and remains separate for the time being. I think them two "the" words apart is like a breath of fresh air and starts the poem, again, perfectly. Simple and very affective next line with the colors... though, I would Love to see a Silver flower, I can imagine dew and other kinds of things to BE that color, so I like that even more so. : ) xxoox

Having a stanza break after the line "In the air you leave a thread" tops off the first half of the poem with that overall sight and emotion of witnessing the butterfly, and the second part of the poem describes mine, yours, other people's reaction to just how important a moment like that is... our perception and understanding. It's really beautiful.

In the line "God painted our heart and soul", painted is used a second time. It wouldn't stand out in most poems, but the size of this one you have written with short lines, it takes a lot of room where instead another word for "paint/ed" could be used, like "decorated, crafted, designed etc..." and then that "ing" off of that word "streaming" in the beginning gets to return with being applied to the word MADE, reading as "making me beautiful".

And another line break to top off an already gorgeous sentiment and moment of clarity and richness you write from the meadow, the butterfly, a heart in a wonderful place with the peace of knowing how special your relationship with God is in this poem "even if only figuratively", and... and you have written a truly beautiful poem. It's short, your diction could use a little bit more adjectives to reel me in more because I KNOW that mind of yours is quite capable of describing things that most would overlook, and not put into their poetry.

I didn't want to "pick this apart" as much as show you how I read you, Johanna. I Love You. I think you did a beautiful job!!!

My favorite part:
"Of peace in a world so gray

When People say

We're only meant to live and die

I look up at the sky"

...LOVE LOVE LOVE that. -Your Mark ...always
xoxoo

[Coyote Poetry]

"We're only meant to live and die
I look up at the sky
God painted our heart and soul
He made me beautiful
Just as he made the butterfly"
I agree. Above lines are wonderful. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Roger Turgeon]

Second poem about butterflies I've read today...strange...butterflies remind me of my mom....but I digress. A wonderful poem about passing to that place were we feel really good about ourselves. Fly butterfly, fly. ( : O )