I said I´d write you a poem

So I had writersblock again.. and I always try to just write something on days like these, even though  it dosen´t flow as easily in my mind, just to break the block. This is what I wrote today, I´m not sure about it as always, but feel free to share your thoughts. Have a nice weekend guys :)

I said I´d write you a poem

I said I´d write you a poem
Just to make you walk away
But I knew already then
There was nothing left to say

I said I´d write you a poem
But I could barely pick up a pen
Words like love held no meaning
and I who thought It´d never end

I said I´d write you a poem
But this is how a heart breaks
Crumbling paper on the floor
How much evasion does it take

I said I´d write you a poem
But could I send the paper empty?
Would that hurt you
As much as it hurts me

I said I´d write you a poem
I said it, but I lied
Would it be a poem
If it only word there was goodbye?

Reviews

[Adreamer's Bluejay]

I'm amazed I found this piece when i did... It's the kind of thing I feel someone would say to me about now. Not that I'm proud of this of course, but it just... it feels well done in the realm of relatablity and understanding. I like the way you decided to work with repetition and make a flow instead of just saying the same thing over and over again. I really like the word choice and the style here is interesting. Great job with the flow.

Beautifully penned.

[Johanna]

Thankyou:) I´m glad it could come at a good time for someone.. I´m glad you found it :)

[Lyn Anderson]

Well, I think this is a great piece. Well done, despite your "writer's block" -- I would make corrections but I don't see any. It has great form, style, and word choice, and each stanza has a perfect punch.

[icelandicblue]

This reflects such sad and melancholy feelings. The reader can hear the breaths between the words and the strength it took to write it.

[Blue]

I recently broke up with my boyfriend and since then, every time I write a poem, nothing good comes out. I'm at loss for words. All there ever was on paper were crappy, empty verses of farewells. I don't know. There were just no appropriate words for the pain.

I like this poem of yours, Johanna. Penned with simplicity and style.

[Johanna]

Hi :) I´m sorry about the breakup, it makes perfect sense though.. when your really really sad writing about you and no one else it´s much harder, but the words will come back to you in time.

Thankyou, glad you liked it, stay strong and have a good day :)

[Blue]

Ahh, it's a good break up, anyway.

[Blue]

It's okay, Johanna. Thank you!

[Klo Willow]

This poem is bitterly sweet, and its brevity serves it well. The pacing and tone is delightfully consistent. It manages to exercise that fickle balance between free, intimate concepts and structure. Truly excellent.

[Johanna]

wow, thankyou :)

[Peacegal]

This is a really good expression.

[Johanna]

thankyou :)

[Frieda P]

Amazing emotion you packed into writer's block, sometimes that's all we need to get that pen flowing again. Good job.

[Johanna]

Thankyou Frieda :)

[Frieda P]

Pleasure was mine Johanna :-)

[emmajoy]

I'm truly amazed that whether true or not, your emotions are in such finely placed English. In particular, these are loving but bewildered, hurt words, ' I said I´d write you a poem ~ But this is how a heart breaks ~ Crumbling paper on the floor.. ' How often have words been chased but lost because they just don't express thoughts..

There are snippets that could be corrected but as the outpouring of a wretched situation, your words hug the paper, and, that's what matters.

[Johanna]

Wow thankyou.. :) More words rhyme in english than in norwegian as well. I´m glad you like it...sometimes thoughts just don´t fit the paper..

Did you find any writingmistakes? please let me know and I´ll fix them :)
thankyou :)

[emmajoy]

If you're happy for me to do so, will send a private message later, Johanna :)

[Johanna]

It´s no problem, you can even write it here :) Helps me out a lot, and I want it to be correct :) you know you stop seeing mistakes yourself if you read it enough times :P

[Alexis]

wow this is nice and full of emotions

[Johanna]

Thankyou :)

[M]

GREAT idea keep it up :) I kinda enjoy it

[Johanna]

Thankyou :)