Be careful when a stranger asks for directions......

A stranger stops a man driving a car on a highway

A story best kept secret

I saw him that night, he looked as if he'd run a mile his face pale and his dark hair stuck up,

panting like a dog. He waved his hand and I pulled up, naturally. I noticed he shook like a leaf and his teeth rattling violently. I asked " need a lift ? " He mumbled darkly under breath and when I opened the door he leaped into the seat slammed the door and yelled"step on it. Shaken as I was I thought it would be wise to do as he said. The dial crept up to 70 and that's when I eased up.

He turned to face me and told me" I think this is far enough".I pulled up at the side of a dirt road cut the engine and waited.

"You see I was new in town forced to life in Maverfield just of the side of Clovenry so they sent me to live in the spite house they told me that was where all the miscreants lived and I was only fit to live there as well."

I watched him speak and saw a dark stain spread across his chest and it turned from Magenta to pitch-black. He did not seem to be in pain and carried on relentless.

"I knew only a few kids at first but as time went by I came to see them more and more often, that was when the rumours started, horrible rumours I shudder to think of.

His voice was loaded with pain and his throat became constricted. I got a bottle and passed it to him. As he gulped it down he shuddered and spluttered. I let him continue in his own time. Prompting him after a long pause.

"I knew one girl her name was Clara; real friendly. First girl I met there. We went to bed like normal when I heard howls and struggling and I heard her screaming for me and just like that it cut off leaving it echoing round for half the night and me shivering in bed imagining I was next."

His hands quivered and the stain spread further his breathing was accompanied by a wet slapping sound like someone pulling their foot out of thick cloying mud.

"But it got worse after that more and more kids disappeared until there were only a handful left, they were the stragglers, and I knew that the adults were in it together.

So I decided to explore the countryside."

As his mouth opened and closed I saw his teeth they were so covered in filth that they seemed to shine in the moonlight distorting them greatly and watched transfixed as his tongue flapped with an imaginary wind because it seemed to be rotting in his mouth.

“So I went through the countryside and it was raining so I was soaked and I was walking when I saw something. It was a pit dug really deep and I saw a shovel left next to it the mud dropping of it into the bottom of the pit. So I looked into the pit and saw bones after bones and realised my friends had been murdered by the Adults;I knew I was right, but I felt a hand shove me and as I fell mud piled onto me suffocating me.

I realised all too late what he meant and even before I could open his door and throw him out, a yellowish glean appeared in his stagnating eyes and he ripped into me. Next time a stranger asks you for directions I suggest you run away as far as you can.....

Author's Note

Remember writing this when I was going through a difficult time. Made me think of those in a position of authority and how they abuse it most of the time. I might even write a sequel or something along those lines. Tell me what you thought.
Enjoy

Reviews

[New Theory]

Again, this was a great read, the description and the tension is shown perfectly. I think this is about the creativity that a person possess and how that is stripped away from them. Free thought is being limited to make way for only the ones that are acceptable for the society. This is good. Keep on writing.

[Joe_VILOT_]

any ideas (Anyone!?) as to what the portrayal of the story line was and how it fit in with the idea of young people and eldies nower days (eldies being those who believe it is their duty and right to impose their beliefs and impose themselves on others esepecially those who are otherwise helpless and quite trusting of course being brought up to believe the b-hype ) seeing that they can control the innocence of youth which is eternal age is something else entireley

[Mia Sparrow]

this was a suspenseful story. i kept wondering where it was going which makes you want to read it through the end. i like the twist at the end. was the hitch hiker a kid who was 'turned' by one of the adults or one of the adults. nonetheless, it was a great ending. it's true that adults can just suck the life out of you and take advantage of their authority just like you said. i like the use of color for the dialogue. i wonder if i might employ something like some time if it's okay with you. but if it's your trademark then i won't use it. i enjoyed your story.

[Joe_VILOT_]

yeah thats cool with my me with my ideas are more than any trademark their part of my trademark their my techno-colored dream connection with other co-creators (that's a lesson) that's a fact the blessing is in giving and receiving not how much the green tastes smells or can be spread
enjoy sparrow

[Joe_VILOT_]

{their part of my trademark}meant to say their part of my identity

[Joe_VILOT_]

appreciate at lot your comment the feedback and what you said about the twist at the ending glad you liked it again

[Marcella Bernadette]

I thought it was very intriguing and would love to read a sequel.

[Joe_VILOT_]

Glad you liked it. I was thinking the sequel could be set from the vantage point of the stranger and how he turned the way we find him at the end.