Religion tactics

Heaven and hell are becoming more of a tactic than a belief.
Trying to steer others to do good so we don't give birth to more Adam's and Eve's.
Why force the name of God to those who don't give a damn about a man who rose to the sky?
Let people believe whatever they choose to believe, let people find out when they die.
There's far too many prisons being made and religion keeps trying to enslave.
No matter who we choose to follow, our skin and bones will be buried alongside the hollow.
I dont need no savior.
I don't need no favors.
Just let me live.
Let me learn.
Maybe I'll enter the kingdom or I'll fall down and burn.
I'm still gonna live and have my fun.
You don't need to follow me, run.

Reviews

[Davidgeo]

That opening line is gold.

The essence of this is something special.

But you use too many words to set up your point in the first half. You tell me too much when you should be showing me things with sparse amounts of words. That's what good poetry is... showing but not telling. It is also why writing good poetry is hard. We are all accustomed to telling our stories and leaving no room for interpretative meaning.


Everything else is already there... if you can keep it there while focusing on word economy I think you'll have an objectively good poem.

[sette]

as karl marx had remarked religion is the opium of the masses.. and this poem aptly describes it