Overcome

A preview for the book I am currently writing.

My mother always said I had a heart made of ice. I guess she has a point since I sell crack on the streets and ruin lives. I feed addictions, cause families pain, and even death. All these atrocious things I listed are true but it gets me by, it helps me survive. I wasn't always a piece of s**t I was actually a pretty good kid in my early years. But that all changed when my father abandoned my mother and I when I was just seven years old. I remember it like it was yesterday, but I don't want to get into details, I'm in a good mood today. But after that day, my world flipped upside down, I went into this parallel universe and switched places with this evil, cold hearted kid. I saw my mother slowly collapse into a state of depression and addiction, I saw our home being taken away from us due to missing payments. We had to move to the projects in Paterson, home of the highest murder rate in the state. My mother had a good job, she was a dentist making around 40.00 bucks an hour, more than enough to keep us stable even without my piece of s**t father. However all that money would go to drugs and alcohol, literally all of it. Eventually she lost her job due to being absent for 2 straight weeks. I was still young and didn't know too much about love but if a man can make a woman collapse like this? I don't wanna go anywhere damn near love. As for me, my A's and B's became D's and F's, my conduct became worse, and before I knew it, I was thrown out of school. Mind you I was only a little kid, already without an education and a mother. I was alone, no friends, just me and my thoughts. I was scared to come home and tell my mother what had happened but of course she wasn't around, she was in the streets looking to get high as a kite. These past few days I've seen my mother for about 4-5 hours, the rest of the time shes out "doing groceries" but there's never any f*****g food in this shithole. I'm forced to eat the leftovers of others people food so I don't experience the pain of hunger. That's when I realized I need to find a way to support myself. Time went by and nothing has changed, my mom is still a junkie, I'm at home looking for food while everyone is at school, learning, strengthening their minds. Meantime my mind is being poisoned by the environment that surrounds me. A little kid should not be around drugs, sex, and violence. I told myself I will never become that, I will never become trash like these people.