Tearful Bullets

This is isn't what I signed up for
I can't take the pain any more
They told me to defend American rights
But I lack the courage to stand up and fight
I can't deal with what my eyes envision
It almost feels as if my heart is missin
Too many innocent souls get caught in the fire
While we fight and defend America's desire
Blood everywhere, comrades blown to bits
If hell was on earth man this would be it
Imagine seeing your friend's intestines lie on the floor
Imagine being assigned to kill children around the age of four
Its like I'm taking part in the new age holocaust
So I pray to allah and leave it all at the mosque
I tell God to forgive my devilish acts and kills
So I can have a chance to see heaven and climb that hill
But I think Satan awaits my arrival
Because I made death my friend and life my rival
I can't take killing another innocent casualty
I'm ashamed I'm a employee for America's faculty
Just last week I had to blow up a house
I ended up killing 3 kids and a spouse
My mind can't forgive me for what I've done
I wish I had the balls to pack up and run
We're the invaders, killing at will
I feel as if my lifes a nightmare and times stand still
I need to escape from this hell on earth
They have me on a mission to invade a church
I run inside, load up and shoot away
Killing anybody who came across my way
I'm going insane, the sight of blood aches my soul
My mind goes berserk and my heart turns into coal
This isn't a joke man this is real life
I swear after each day I grow close to the knife
I just wanna be home with my two kids and wife
But I'm too busy killing these people like mice
I wanna see my boys but I'm far over seas
Trying to save a soldier as he prays and bleeds
I'm on the brink of suicide with no hope in sight
I'm lost in the darkness, wheres the light?
I swear what I'm seeing is hard to believe
Killing the innocent for my country's greed
Killing Gods people all for false hope
I can't imagine how these families must cope
Not even heaven's waters can wash these sins
So I sit here, recollect and watch the tears reach my chin
I was fooled by America's demands
The commercial said ill be army strong but I can't stand
I'm on all fours asking allah for some help
But the pains been made the card has been dealt
I had a hand full of glorious aces
I had a gun, grenade, and all types of maces
I'm a puppet programmed to destroy
Leaving little kids homeless and without toys
I refuse to look myself in the mirror
Because the path to hell is a lot more clearer
God made me but Satan is toying with his creation
I use to be a loving father but now I'm destroying a nation
I'm in a ditch awaiting to end another life
Another husband who's gonna lose his wife
But I have other ideas in mind
I'ma kill the right person this time
So I lie here writing this letter stuck in the mud
This is my last goodbye, I wrote this with my own blood