Joey's Goals As A Poet

I want to
Paint pictures with words
Tell you stories that are absurd
Stimulate your mind
Visualize within each rhyme
Take you away from reality's grip
Have your mind take a daring trip
Bring you laughter, but also tears
Comfortable, but also fear
Trigger your powerful imagination
Enjoy my minds creation
I want to make you
Percieve
Achieve
Dream
Believe

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

"Trigger your powerful imagination
Enjoy my minds creation
I want to make you
Percieve
Achieve
Dream
Believe"

A very powerful message. Bravo.....................

[Joey Martinez]

Thank you! Appreciate it

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)..............

[AprilRN1210]

This is the first piece of yours that I have read and I enjoyed.. I love the ideas and thoughts presented in this piece.. I think with a little rearranging the construction/presentation, it could be awesome... (just my opinion)..

maybe start with ....

"I want to..."
then list...
then towards the end
I want to make you....
then just those four words..
"perceive"
"achieve"... etc...

or something like that.. cut down on the repetition that takes away from the lovely rhymes and meaning.. it would flow better for the reader.. (again, just my opinion)..

your rhymes were really nice and didn't feel forced.. that takes skill.. well done!..

[Joey Martinez]

You're totally right, I changed the format and it flows a lot better. Thanks for the review, hope u enjoy the others

[AprilRN1210]

oh yes!.. much better.. glad I could help.. you're welcome..

[AprilRN1210]

two more suggestions.. (don't shoot me!)...

"Comfortable, but also fear".. makes me stumble a little.. would maybe change to "feared".. still a close rhyme..

"minds creation".. think you need an apostrophe here..

[Joey Martinez]

Lol i appreciate the comments :) ill try it out