Proud

You there!

Yes you

You with your two mates

and your cocky swagger

Thinking you're so HARD

You think that just because I am one and you are many

that it would be so EASY

Well you're wrong

Because I kick,

And I punch

And I Bite

And I Scream

And I HATE!

And though I may walk away worse off than you

I walk away with my head held high

proud in the knowledge

that you too,

have not come away unscathed.

Author's Note

Read in anger

Reviews

[Alia ZJ.]

I scrolled down even before reading it and there I met it 'Read in anger' :3
Trust me, I read it all in a spiteful tone :D
And yes,
*And though I may walk away worse off than you
I walk away with my head held high* ♥
Keep writing. This is definitely a 100 on 100 piece :)

xoxo

[Troy Henson]

Wow! Lets not meet you on a dark night.
Powerful piece and to the point very quickly in your opening lines "you there, yes you"
Was like a slap straight up and set the tone well for the remainder.
Well done
Regards

[Jo Todd]

Haha, don't worry im only small. Its about taking your victories where you can. Being small I know i'm gunna lose most fighs but im happy if I get to do some damage back, I aint gunna roll over an let it happen.

[xxlheart]

oh this is great!! has them slam feel to it. just perfect!!!

[Jo Todd]

Haha thanks, I did actually write this for a poetry performance a few years back. Hadn't thought about it in a while but thought id dust it off and put it on here.

[A Poet Named Garit]

I like it. I can read it in anger, and you definitely get the idea of how to display your anger but to display and convey are total different things. I think you could get into this a little more in ways that would really draw out the anger, even by simple rewordings--
"Because I kick,
And I punch
And I Bite
And I Scream
And I HATE!"
This part^^, i like a whole lot. This, in my opinion, is the angriest and most potentially intense part of your work. The repetition builds the intensity factor, though I believe you can do more with that to truly bring out that anger.
I like how at the end, you walk away with pride. Pride is one of the 7 deadly sins and supposedly the worst of the 7. Allowing yourself to divulge yourself into this, it makes your poetic persona very human; especially since the pride is found in the fact of your persona's opponent is also beaten or tattered.
This piece grasps human nature very well and I think that's why I like this piece as much as I do.

[Jo Todd]

Thanks im glad you like it, Im not very happy with it myself and will probably change it at some point. I think this poem comes across much better when performed and not so well on page.

[A Poet Named Garit]

I agree, my work is like that too. This would be MUCH better if it were recited, it's just the voice that adds that extra umph to pieces like this.

[marty360]

"Read in anger" exactly how I read it :).
Great piece, my only criticism is the line ..
"And though I may come off worse then you" should be ..
"And though I may come off worse than you". Just a simple grammar mistake but still a great piece :).

[Jo Todd]

Thanks but i think you forgot to put the correction, as far as i can see both lines read the same

[marty360]

Replace thEn with thAn :) hope this helps :).

[Jo Todd]

Thanks, my brain just isnt with it this afternoon

[marty360]

Lol it's fine :).