A scar to keep

In memory of the lives lost in the Indonesian Hercules C-130 military transport plane crash.

As the burning embers ,

Recede

I dare stand

In the wreckage of that

Colossal beast

Once destined to fly among the clouds,

Now a burning pyre 

For the brave who entered,

This alluring fiend.

All that remains,

Are but charred bones and specks

Of dust

An essence of the once fearless

Now reside in the hearts 

Of those who had lost

More than they

The pain that fills in 

Silences all

For only the memories,sweet,

Can dull the pain,

But can never be sated

For,

' tis a scar to keep

Reviews

[Taylor]

I enjoy the words you used for this piece. However, I feel the divisions of the certain lines:
'All that remains,
Are but charred bones and specks
Of dust'
'In the wreckage of that
Colossal beast'
are more hiccups than good pauses. That is not to say they are all bad:
'The pain that fills in
Silences all'
'Once destined to fly among the clouds,
Now a burning pyre'
are lines I like where the divide makes the following more powerful and vivid in my mind.

I don't know how much this may help or not, but I'd recommend reading it aloud and seeing how they may affect your piece. When I read my own poems aloud, I'll find certain lines and words don't mesh as well together as I thought they did when I read it in my mind. Thank you for sharing.

[Joel Armstrong]

Thank you my friend.and I agree with you with regard to the divisions.I admit I was careless with that.il make sure to bring the necessary changes.I appreciate the time you took to review this.
Thank you : )

[Taylor]

You're welcome. There is never a careless step in the journey of poetry, good sir. Hopefully, my advice helps!

[Joel Armstrong]

Thank you .and yes it has indeed helped: )

[Kshitij Srivastava]

Well penned with a disturbing imagery....great work 👍

[Joel Armstrong]

Thank you : )

[Angeliki Largatzis]

I really love this, the words and the tone you used in this poem are good with a nice rhythm to it.

[Joel Armstrong]

Thank you : )

[ANTO]

This is so eloquent and sensitively penned Joel A very fitting and respectful homage to those souls who met their end on that fateful day my friend. The final line is quite the tear-jerker. A well written tribute dear poet. kudos. God Bless.
:)

[Joel Armstrong]

Thank you my friend. It means a lot : )

[ANTO]

My pleasure Joel - god bless. :)

[Chirag Kumar]

A perfect tribute to the innocent lives lost in the unfortunate incident. I can feel the pain and grief reflecting in this piece. May their souls rest in peace.

[Chain of Hearts]

Wow, this sounds like Shakespeare :) Very well written, certainly has a realistic story to tell.
Amazing!
-LK

[Joel Armstrong]

thank you : )

[Chain of Hearts]

can you give me a review back? :D

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Sometimes i wonder why keep scars? then i remember... Keep em as reminders. Great write my friend. :)

[Joel Armstrong]

Thank-you : )

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Any time :)

[A writer]

I'd review...but Danny said all that I thought about this write. Well done :)

[Joel Armstrong]

Thanks Andy.

[CA Anurag Sharma]

"I dare stand
In the wreckage of that
Colossal beast
Once destined to fly among the clouds,
Now a burning pyre
For the brave who entered,
This alluring fiend."... wonderful write Joel... its too good

[Joel Armstrong]

Thank you my friend: )