Alone

                           Alone

         

            Lying in the shadows, for many

            A year,

             A child of the night ,I have become

             Exiled from the fields of life,

             Shunned by all,sought by none

             A life most sublime

              I had once lead,

              Replete with felicity and glee

               But now,all but a mere memory

              As the sly serpent had once crept

              Into the sacred garden

              To deceive mankind

              Likewise it slithered into my Eden

              And made it my very hell

             I have walked through a valley of

             Thorns,

             Climbed rocky crags,all

             In the hope to regain,what

             I had once lost

             My attempts however remain futile

            Despite all this ,a lesson 

             I have learnt,

             A most valuable one indeed

            To bear witness 

             to the twinkling of the diamonds above

              In the bosom of mother night

            T'is a sight unparalleled in its tranquillity

        

            To see the moonlight

           Glinting off the glass of a thousand

           Buildings,

           To listen to the whisper 

            Of the lonely zephyr,

            Many a secret unveiled

  

    What I once lost,remain

    In the ashes

     But what I've gained

     Remains inimitable

Reviews

[DoormanDan]

I seem to be having a lucky streak when it comes to stumbling across fantastically written poetry today. All I have to say is wow, this poem sure excels in the quality department. This has pretty much everything it could possibly have crammed into it; sophisticated vocab, flow, imagery, atmosphere, and even allusion(which is something I don't see very often in poems on this website). I can tell from this that you have your own distinctive writing style, and it is a really powerful one!

100/100. You are a fantastic writer :)

[Joel Armstrong]

Thank you my friend : )

[Avinash]

There is deep pain engraved in these words but it only exposes the strength and courage of the writer.

[guy drori]

Very nice job. You really captured the essence of loneliness with strong words and you have done a great job in line breaks. The way you gave detail to what the lonely person in the poem does allowed me to actually see the poem through my eyes.

[Joel Armstrong]

Thank you!!

[Perdition]

Love the points at which you broke this poem into stanzas…Hmmm..I had a thought about the "sly serpent" as most understand what a serpent image relays and yes it can mean several things but then again that only adds to the poetry for me. That is all I would suggest because you have some absolutely wonderful stanzas in this one. Very well done and continue as I know you will. A good poet or writer is a voice from above. Namaste~

[Chirag Kumar]

Wonderful poem Joel. Excellent choice and use of words to create such a piece. Well written :)

[h d e rushin]

I was at the airport this afternoon picking up a friend and on our ride home I was envious of
those who are alone. Because alone-ness is an act that wrongly transgresses the laws of
something (I don't know what) but to write poetry, you have to have it in order to get it right.
I too saw the religious images you used which can be an interesting and unfamiliar intrusion
for someone other than the Southern Baptist that I am. But poems are rarely written
for a specific reader, so whatever universality is intended , so be it. But the intent
was sincere and heart felt.

a wonderful write my friend...dana

[Joel Armstrong]

Thank you Dana : )

[SheDragon16]

Very Nice work I think we've all felt that way at least once in their lives.

[Holly Mason]

Alone....bears witness
The title made me wonder what words
Would follow...a descriptive piece
Thank you for sharing

[Willard Wells]

Optimistic is what we must all be. I have lost many things in life like you and I have learned that my true happiness is really found in a simpler life. Beautiful poem with good flow and imagery. Thanks for sharing.

[Pratik Mishra]

Very good! This is a long poem but I was not bored even a little bit!

[mournful bear]

GREAT WRITE!!!!!!! that's a lot, thinking. i like that you write like an author you use very novel like points, words that are hardly use you wrote, way to go!!!!!!! i enjoyed this write. loved the Climbed rocky crags and then To bear witness to the twinkling of the diamonds above, nice rough and then enjoyment. great novel format!!!!!!! will be back this way!