Alone

                           Alone

         

            Lying in the shadows, for many

            A year,

             A child of the night ,I have become

             Exiled from the fields of life,

             Shunned by all,sought by none

             A life most sublime

              I had once lead,

              Replete with felicity and glee

               But now,all but a mere memory

              As the sly serpent had once crept

              Into the sacred garden

              To deceive mankind

              Likewise it slithered into my Eden

              And made it my very hell

             I have walked through a valley of

             Thorns,

             Climbed rocky crags,all

             In the hope to regain,what

             I had once lost

             My attempts however remain futile

            Despite all this ,a lesson 

             I have learnt,

             A most valuable one indeed

            To bear witness 

             to the twinkling of the diamonds above

              In the bosom of mother night

            T'is a sight unparalleled in its tranquillity

        

            To see the moonlight

           Glinting off the glass of a thousand

           Buildings,

           To listen to the whisper 

            Of the lonely zephyr,

            Many a secret unveiled

  

    What I once lost,remain

    In the ashes

     But what I've gained

     Remains inimitable

Reviews

[DoormanDan]

I seem to be having a lucky streak when it comes to stumbling across fantastically written poetry today. All I have to say is wow, this poem sure excels in the quality department. This has pretty much everything it could possibly have crammed into it; sophisticated vocab, flow, imagery, atmosphere, and even allusion(which is something I don't see very often in poems on this website). I can tell from this that you have your own distinctive writing style, and it is a really powerful one!

100/100. You are a fantastic writer :)

[Joel Armstrong]

Thank you my friend : )

[Sarah]

this is incredible and i thought while reading this that this person has an incredible amount of talent keep it up!!

[Joel Armstrong]

Thank you!! Means a lot : )

[Sarah]

Eh my input is just one of sone one who really is a no body but I just wanna tell you I see a lot of talent

[Joel Armstrong]

Hey ur not a nobody..
Nobody is a nobody.everybody's somebody : )
Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!- Dr. Seuss

[Sarah]

Hahaha well thanks darlin.

[Joel Armstrong]

Ur welcome : D

[Frozen Eyes]

I love the beginning and the ending and of course what binds the two.. Superb work. saving it to my favorites :)

[Joel Armstrong]

Thank you : )

[J Todd Underhill]

Great write but the review before I visited reflect that as well, I would like to hear this in the author's voice www.worldpoetryopenmic.net

[Nightfeather]

I like the lay-out of your poem. It gives the poem a unique flavour so we may savour. I like they way of how you described the journey of the mind. It's true that the gains outweigh the things that has been lost but one can also revive the things that thy have lost, for you only need to pursue it.

Good job :D

[Tomoe Tellez]

Awsome! The sad part is that many writers relate to such feelings. But that's also what makes it beautiful.

[Aeon]

I enjoyed this. I can definatly feel the slavery of solitary through the authors words. Thanks alot for sharing! Cheers

[Joel Armstrong]

Thank you aeon

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Wow. Awesome write thats for sure. Can relate to this in a way. Thanks for sharing.

[Gerry Legister]

Great opening line sets the pace which climbs down into the deepest part of loneliness, contrasting life to sublime creature crawling into futile tranquillity, its a very good effort on a difficult subject and one that is well appreciated.

[Joel Armstrong]

Thank you sir. : )