Lion heart

the story of fear

                                                     

                     Tears stream down my cheeks,

                     Helpless I remain , under

                      The monsters grip

                      Betrayed by my own self

                           I fell,

                    Into  the monsters lair.

                   A mere number , I have become,

                   Just another number,

                    In the monsters list of victims

 

                 “Fear me “, he said

                    Shamefully the docile one in me,

                   Gave in , and I,

                  Shrank to  be the non entity that I had become.

                    This mortal flaw of mine,

                             A fatal sin

 

                     The warrior in me, pushed on,

                         A coward  he called me

                       “ Rise, rebel, fight”, he said

                       And with his mighty sword,

                   He broke the shackles that  held me down.

                   And I burned with fire

                 I rose and charged to meet my oppressor

                    “ Fear me” he said, once again

                    Towering over me,

                 And the lionheart within me said to him

                        “  I defy thee”

                    The monster shrank in size but I

                                grew .

                     our roles now reversed

                      I towered over him ,

                   And I said to that puny creature,

                      “ Fear me”.

 

Reviews

[dan]

Joel, next time send me a read request, OK? This piece is actually very good, I like how the tables were turned on the monster in the end. I assume that English is not your primary language but your grammar and spelling and such is very, very good. The story (poem) has a beginning, midpoint and end and it flows very nicely through each segment. Very nicely done! take care...dan

[ANTO]

Hi again Joel, thanks for the RR my friend.
I loved this fantasy write - fighting the fear within ourselves - it was a swashbuckler - superb!

There were two typos, I felt;
In line 6 'layer' should read 'lair' (as in dragon's lair)
and in line 11 I think for semantics 'Shamefully' would be the better word

. I expected it to be a historical poem about King Richard (The Lionheart) and far from being disappointed (as a history fan), I thoroughly enjoyed this. thanks :))

[Joel Armstrong]

thanx anto . and i noticed the mistake i had made( with respect to the lair thingie.).thankyou for showing me that.ive made the corrections.and i do agree with u on the fact that shamefully is a better word.il change that too.thanx for the review!! : )

[ANTO]

YVW Joel - more power to your pen my friend!!

[Anjana]

awesummmmmm !! well done bro !! proud of u !

[Joel Armstrong]

thanx sis!!!