The whisper

wrote this poem when all seemed hopeless.

The whisper

The days of yore have passed away,

When darkness rules this earth,

When it creeps into my heart,

The light of my hope , my essence ,

Cedes into oblivion

 

I lay bleeding , upon the altar

Of despair,

Hard as stone ,as black as death

As cold as ice,

I await my end , calm,

Composed,

For I have no hope,for I bleed not red

But blue.

 

I hear a whisper,as silent as if

It never existed.

But I hear it yet again,

That whisper.

I strain my ears to listen

To its wisdom,

For I have none left.

It told me its golden words,

Shocked I am,

For  it is indeed wise,

This whisper of mine soul.

It said,

“For every dusk,

There is a new dawn”.

Reviews

[Nightfeather]

The soul is really two sided, for it can bring salvation but also sorrow and chaos but as long as the voice of the whisper is still inside your soul, one can still receive salvation and the hope that one deserves. This poem can generate hope, for the end of the poem is the moment that we can taste the sweet nectar named salvation. This poem must be heard in this world of us, for the truth is one of the truths that must be known and so, your poem will live forever in the hearts of the one who understands your message.

Good job :D

[Joshua Carl Cruz]

this collection of words does throw imagey into the brain and paint an atmosphere of desperation and resignation until the ubrupt end. I don´t really know what to think yet so I´will give it another pass after breakfast. Cheers!

[Dani The Unreviewed]

I just read it again. And it reminds me of a short line from a movie. Lol. I don't know how the two come together...but hell, here it is.
A short line from the movie Rocky.
"And when you fall down, Get up you son of a b***h, get up cuz Micky loves ya" lol. Thats what the coach said. Lol. Anyways, 100 points.

[Joel Armstrong]

Hehe.nice line.unfortunately I haven't seen the movie.il make sure I do that.: D

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Lol. There are five parts of it. Silvester Stalone plays the main character. Rocky. Lol. Good movies though, great story.

[Joel Armstrong]

I know the movie. He's a boxer in it ri8?I've seen small parts of it but never the whole thing.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Yeah. I've seen it all. Must say that it is awesome.

[Joel Armstrong]

I ain't a big sly Stallone fan. The only films I've seen of his are Rambo and all 3 of the expandables

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Seen all those too :)

[Dani The Unreviewed]

But....all the shooting scenes are over done. Like the hero can shoot the bad guys with perfect accuracy, but twenty of them can't hit the hero a single time... Seriously...cartoons are more realistic.lol

[Joel Armstrong]

I know ri8.we usually laugh it off during those scenes.if you think this is something u should watch a Bollywood action movie.ul get to know what real action is😂😂

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Lol. I know some real action...not a movie, but its a lot more realistic. Play a first person shooter. Lol.

[Joel Armstrong]

Hehe. Idñt play much of those kind of games.for some unknown reason I get a massive headache after playing them.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Two possible reasons... One: extremely excited. Two: extremely bored.

[Joel Armstrong]

Two I guess.but its not bcuz of the fact that I get bored.it really gives me a damn headache so I kinda steer of from such games.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Oh... I see.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

This makes me think. Think that you wrote about losing all hope, all strength...hitting rock bottom. And since you couldn't go lower...the only place you can go is up. Anyhow...thats my best guess. Rating 100

[Avinash]

My interpretation tells me that it is a redemption of a writer through ink. I guess most of us are who tend to write. A profound poem.

[Sophy Freebirds]

The last line reminded me of the line "The darkest hours of the night come just before the dawn",-The Alchemist,Paulo Coelho. This poem started with a desperate note ending with a hope... I was taken from abyss of dark to pinnacle of hope. I am glad i cam here to read it. Its not the final state of helplessness whs when you still have a hope. Remember chances are always second lasts.. So take heart. more is yet to come. *keep writing*
~Sophy

[h d e rushin]

first of all Joel, it's hard to write poetry as an attentive or aggressive pursuit but easy
if you give consideration to circumstances or contingencies. And that's what jumps off the page
for me. That whispers are only whispers when the room is the quietist. But the soul
rarely speaks in a quiet voice my friend. It shouts and screams and bends your fingers backwards..

Others before me have said 'beautiful' and I agree. This is beautiful if beauty is that which
makes allowances for our permissible selves.

well done sir ....dana

[Joel Armstrong]

Thanks dana. But here I wanted to showcase a situation where hopelesness drowns out the screams of the soul until only a whisper remains.it is that whisper , the feeble attempts by the soul to instill hope that I have shown here.

[h d e rushin]

but I was at an art show my sister gave recently and the artist of this extreme abstraction
stood before his painting and said the exact same thing as you did. That his intention was
to convey a certain soulful interaction of hope. I mention that because paintings aren't poems.
And the durability of beauty is not limited by the purity of intention. I loved the poem because it was beautifully conveyed and not any personal mitigating circumstances. You write very well,
so why concern yourself with purpose.?...Just my own humble opinion.....dana

[Joel Armstrong]

Thanks dana.

[Deepika]

This is such a good piece..The Intrinsic motivation that is very much needed to succeed in life. Good one Joel:)

[Confuser]

Joel: am stopping at oblivion (beautiful): I hear a whisper,as silent as if It never existed. I love it! I am trying to type something meaningful, but you have taken my soul to a new height - Joel, I am awestruck by the beauty - the theme and it's message. You have been blessed with a great gift and I am captivated. The ending is phenomenal as well. Thank you so much for this lovely writing I will not forget. Beautiful, amazing. Dale