Sonny and Old Lady Gamble's Berry patch

Another story as adapted from an actual event in my chilkdhood. "Sonny" was, of course, my older brother. Copyrighted story. All rights are reserved.

 

Sonny and old lady Gamble’s berry patch

Southwestern PA, June 1950

 

“Come on Joey, the guys are waiting. You’re too slow.” Sonny was my big brother and for once he was letting me go along with him and his buddies on an adventure. They were always up to something.

“So, where are we going?” I asked as I struggled with my shoes. I was already 8 years old and growing out of my shoes again. Sonny was a big 14 and he wore an old pair of dad’s work boots. They had plenty of room for his feet.

“We’re gonna pay a little visit to old lady Gamble’s garden, Joey. Now hurry up!” He headed for the door. I could see Rich and Johnnie already waiting outside, and I could hear Ronnie running down through the back yard. He always ran almost out of control down the back yard. I waited for the “thump.” There it was. Ronnie stopped his headway plunge by using the back wall of the house. 

“Damn!” I could hear him say. Rich and Johnnie howled with laughter.

“We weren’t going to leave you behind, Ron. Take your time next time!” Rich lived next door and Johnnie lived across the road. Ronnie had to run up the back alley to get to our house and then it was downhill after he got to our yard.

“Well, you went fishing without me last month,” Ron complained. “I wasn’t taking any chances.” I finally got my shoes pulled on and the laces tied into tight knots. I wasn’t going to take any chances if we had to run. Sonny always talked about how mean old lady Gamble was.

“Joey, here’s your picking can.” Sonny shoved a cleaned-up paint can at me, the kind we use for picking black rasperries. It swung from a wire handle.

“She has strawberries in her garden?” I asked. Sonny just grinned. His buddies laughed out loud and Rich gave me a little shove, the way they shoved each other. Did that mean they were looking at me as a bigger kid now? I hoped so. Johnnie tousled my hair.

“Okay, boys this is what we’re gonna do. We sneak down by the railroad tracks. It’ll be getting dark when we get there. Just across the road is old lady Gamble’s house. We sneak into her garden and pick as many strawberries as we can from her patch. But we leave her some too, okay?” The other nodded agreement.

“Yeah, we’ll leave her TWO” cracked Ronnie. They laughed so I joined in. They all handed their cans to me to carry and headed down to the tracks under the wooden bridge.

“Hey, wait up!” I yelled and stumbled after them, lugging my clanking load of cans. I caught up to them just before they reached the bridge where we all sneaked down to the tracks. They each took their cans, just leaving me my one.

“Okay, now we sneak down to Gamble’s place,” Sonny whispered. “Joey, are you sure you wanna do this?” 

I wasn’t sure but I grinned back at him. Was it true what they said about her shotgun? I hoped not. “Yeah,” I croaked. The guys snickered and Rich shoved me down again. I didn’t see where he was all that great. He was only 11, not a teen-ager like the others. I got back up again and didn’t bother to dust myself off. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

“Okay, here we go,” Sonny whispered. We sneaked down the tracks to just across from her house. “We should be okay now,” Johnnie whispered. But if we wait much longer we won’t be able to see the berries.” 

Sonny slapped his head. “You’re right! Let’s go.” The other four started across the road and I followed them. Sonny held the wire fence down so the others could climb over it but I sneaked under the bottom wire. We crawled into the garden just like the marines in the war comic books. “Okay, pick fast!” Sonny whispered. I crawled into one corner of the patch and started helping myself. I ate one and put two or three in the can.

“We need some for pies, Joey.” Sonny whispered, maybe a little loud. We all started picking as fast as we could and I put most of my berries in the can instead of my mouth. 

“It’s getting too dark to tell the ripe ones,” Ronnie whispered. 

“Huh?” asked Johnnie out loud. “Oops,” he whispered.

“Did you hear something?” Sonny whispered. We all glanced over at the house. The curtains were blowing in the window. “Is that window up? He asked Rich.

“It’s up,” Rich answered. And old lady Gamble is inside it! Run!”

I got up and headed for the fence and slid under it. Sonny stopped to pick up my berry can and headed for the fence, too. He was the last one climbing over it when Rich looked back from across the street. “Shotgun!” He shouted.

Just then the window lit up with a blast of light and smoke and a loud boom.  Sonny yelled out as something banged off his berry cans. “Ow!” he screamed. “Oww. Oww!” He fell over the fence. He picked up the berry cans and we all ran over to the tracks. After stumbling down the cobbly stoned tracks, we stopped under the bridge.

“Did you get shot?” I asked. “Are you dead?”

“Yeah, I got shot and no, I’m not dead,” he shouted crossly. Now, just shut up.”

“You better let your mom look at that, Sonny, Rich offered. Maybe it was just birdshot.”

“At least we didn’t lose all the berries,” Sonny answered. And here’s your can, Joey.” We went home with Sonny walking funny.

“What happened? Where did all these berries come from?” Mom asked.

“Old lady Gamble shot Sonny!” Rich exclaimed, beating the other boys to telling her the big news. 

“I don’t wanna sit down,” Sonny explained. I think I’ll just stand here. Ow.” 

“Take your shirt off, she said. “And pull your pants down.”

“You guys aren’t enjoying this are you?” he asked. “You better not be.”

“No, we’re not, smiled Johnnie. Rich snickered. I guess when you’re sure your buddy’s not gonna die things get a little funnier.

“My shirt’s sticking to my back, mom, and my butt hurts. Ow.” He pulled his pants down and eased his shirt off. 

Mom got the tweezers and picked something out of his skin. “Does this hurt? It looks like a piece of rock salt.”

“It hurts, mom. Ow.” She stuck her tweezers in again. 

“And this? Does it hurt too?” She plucked it out. “I think it’s a grain of rice. She straightened up. “I think you’ll live.” The other boys roared with laughter. I giggled. 

Mom bent down again and plucked out about a dozen pieces of rock salt and rice. “You could make supper with that stuff,” Rich joked. 

“Take a bath and I’ll put some iodine on it. Well, at least she didn’t have that thing loaded with buckshot. I’ll talk about it with daddy when he comes home. Now, you boys go home. Sonny should be better in the morning. But I think he’ll sleep on his belly tonight!”

Reviews

[richieb]

Joe B., I too am a Pennsylvania boy born in New Kensington outside Pittsburgh along the Allegheny river. I am currently a steelworker in Ohio but have strong coal mining background in my family. Really enjoyed this story. Was always a mischevious youth looking for adventure. Looking forward to reading more of your stories Richie B.

[Kimberly Davis]

Joe B.,
Another charming story told through the eyes of a young boy. I could see it all happening. Good descriptions. I especially liked, "We crawled into the garden just like the marines in war comic books." Sounds just like something a young boy would say and it brought me right into his mind. Way to go!

If I may just offer a couple of suggestions.

Something I've battled with in my own writing is establishing a whispering scene without repeating 'whispered' after each dialogue. I think I told you before that I've been conscious about my repititions lately. It just makes a story flow better when it doesn't get hung up on one repeated word. So, I've been trying to establish my whispering scenes with scenery and emotion instead of repeating whispered. Saying it now and again is fine to keep it noted.
So, I have a suggestion for yours. Perhaps you've established the scene perfectly with the fact that they're sneaking around, crawling under fences, afraid of being heard so they don't get shot. (btw, hysterical thought to keep in the back of their minds) The reader gets that it's a covert mission without saying whispered too many times. Maybe one of the characters can announce "from this point on, we only whisper". That way you can combine an action after someone speaks that describes how someone would act if they were sneaking around. Does that make sense?

And speaking of sneaking...from about paragraph 5 on down, sneak and sneaked might be repeated too much. I don't know. Like I said, I've been trying to watch my own repetitions and that word stood out to me, but that's me.

Paragraph 5, 'taking any chances' is said twice as well.

Paragraph 7, just technically speaking. If a buddy laughs....it's usually out loud. One of the pleonasm redundancies that I've also been watching out for in my own writings.

Further on down, there are a couple of places where the dialogue quotes need to be closed.
"You better let your mom look at that...
"No, we're not smiled Johnnie.

And there you have it. =] Like I said earlier, a charming and enchanting story, my friend. Good job.
Kim