Something Missing

Too often we have been taught to look toward the future to fulfill our dreams. As a result we miss the important moments in life.

Something Missing

Did you ever have the feeling that “something was missing” in your life?

If so, you share a common feeling with most people.

There always seems to be something lacking in our lives.

In hopes of finding it we always seem to look to the future.

The future is where all our hopes and dreams will come true, or so we have been led to believe.

We are told that it is there that we can find what is missing.

So, we spend the majority of our lives looking forward to what the future will bring, to what’s next to come in our lives.

Tomorrow is filled with possibilities and opportunities.

It starts almost at birth.

As small children our parents look for us to reach benchmarks that show we are developing normally.

They look for signs of physical and mental growth.

They look forward to our first steps and our first words.

They push us to achieve more and more because to them “something is missing” in their children’s lives, the children just don’t know it yet.

As we grow and become older we too start to look to the future to add to our life experiences.

What’s next becomes more important to us than what is happening now.

Along the way we become old enough to drive, to drink, and to vote.

We come to see school as a path to a bright future.

We earn that first degree, then the next, and the next.

Graduations are celebrated with speeches and talk of future dreams more so than past accomplishments.

After graduation we make plans to fill our lives with all the important things we are told are necessary for a happy life.

As young people starting out into the world we look forward to getting that first job that will lead to a successful career.

We are not quite sure how that success will be measured, but we are told it should include financial security.

That’s why we go to college, right?

We are also told that we should find a path to happiness as well.

No one seems to be able to tell us how to find that path though.

As we travel through life we believe that if we can only find and acquire those things that are missing then everything else will fall in place and we will be both secure and happy.

So, we set out to accomplish those goals that society says are critical to a successful and happy life.

We marry, we buy our first house, and we plan a family.

During these times much of our lives are determined by the roles we play.

There are mortgages to pay and soccer games to attend.

We become the cheerleaders for our children and just like our parents did we guide them to find the things we believe are missing in their lives.

Always we continue to look to the future.

The future is where all the answers lie.

As we grow older though, our future goals and priorities begin to change.

We no longer look to acquire so much as to maintain what we have already accumulated.

We now seek to maintain whatever financial security we have acquired.

We seek to maintain our health.

The prospect of outliving our money or becoming unable to care for ourselves terrifies us.

For the first time the future is not a place for fulfilling dreams, but one of uncertainty and fear.

We also seek to maintain our relationships with family and friends.

We are afraid of being alone.

As our family obligations lessen and lifelong goals are achieved we begin to reflect on the paths we have taken that have brought us to where we are then in life.

No longer are we part of the rat race, no longer are our children’s needs ours alone to fulfill.

We hope that the way we lived our lives will afford us some form of prestige and respect.

Along with our accomplishments come memories; memories of looking and finding everything we thought was missing in our lives.

Nothing should be missing we think, we worked so hard to achieve our life goals.

Unfortunately, we believe something is indeed still missing.

What can it be?

With age comes wisdom so we discover that there is no real rest, there is no end to seeking what is missing in our lives.

We are just finding new ways to pursue what is missing.

All along the way there was always something missing, something to strive toward, and it appears there always will be something missing.

Now there are two ways to look at this driving need to always look to the future and find what is missing in our lives.

We can reasonably argue that this constant drive helps make us better people who strive to improve our lives, the lives of those we love, and society itself.

We know that lack of motivation results in stagnation in both people and society.

On the other hand, constantly looking only to the future can mean missing out on the joys of the present.

Too many late nights at work mean less time with those we love.

Pursuing societal priorities mean sharing fewer important moments with family and friends.

There is no real way to determine which of these truths is correct.

It may be one or the other, or a combination of both, or something else completely.

What we can say with certainty though is that most of us spend a large part of our lives seeking to find what others have told us is missing in our lives.

So many of our goals are set by others, by family, by friends, and by society.

In addition, our chances for success in many ways are already predetermined by others and by society.

Where we were born and who we know are equally as important as the talents we possess or how hard we work.

We just don’t recognize that fact until we have already run the race.

The undeniable truth though is that always trying to find what is missing in our lives, always looking to the future for the answers, and always waiting for happiness, means that in the end we miss out on truly living our lives.

It passes us by as we wait for the future to arrive.