“Hop” The Stop Sign

An interaction between a driver and police officer takes an unusual twist.

“Hop” The Stop Sign

My father always had the “hand me down” car in the family.

Whenever a family member bought a new car; or should I say whenever my parents helped us buy a new car, my father inherited the old one.

He never seemed to mind as long as whatever he drove got him to and back from work.

One of the last cars my father drove was a Rambler.

The Rambler was a 60s low end compact.

It had no “bells or whistles” like today’s automobiles.

It didn’t even have air conditioning.

Everything was operated manually, including the windows.

This was an old Rambler with lots of miles on it.

The starter switch did not work properly nor did the wipers on the passenger’s side or the cigarette lighter. Yes cars back then had cigarette lighters.

There were holes in the floor that allowed water to splash up inside when you drove through wet streets and the roof leaked as well.

If you drove it on a rainy day you were sure to get wet one way or another.

It was basically falling apart.

It did though have a unique feature.

As part of the driver’s side window was another little window called a “wing” window.

The driver could open this little window to get some air flowing while not having to open the larger side window.

I mention this because it is key to this story.

After my father retired he used to drive over to my house during the day to walk and feed our Saint Bernard dog.

It was a nice break for him and it got him out of the house giving both he and my mother some time to themselves.

On the way to my house were several stop signs.

Somewhere in his late 60s my father decided that as long as there was no traffic he did not really have to make a full stop when it came to these signs.

He just sort of slowed down and rolled through them.

One day on his way to my house he rolled through a stop sign in view of a local police officer.

He pulled my father over.

I have mentioned before that my father was not a big fan of the police. His dislike for them ran deep because of his long unpleasant history with them.

When the officer approached the car my father opened the wing window only.

The officer asked him to roll down the driver’s side window, but my father said it did not work.

Instead my father asked him to talk through the wing window.

The officer leaned in and asked for his license, registration, and insurance card.

My father replied; “What I can’t hear you.”

The officer leaned in closer and repeated his request.

Again my father feigned not being able to hear him.

“You have to come closer and speak up officer. I cannot hear you.”

The officer complied and put his face directly in front of the wing window.

That’s when my father struck.

Police officers in town wore white shirts, black ties, and black hats.

Before the police officer could react my father grabbed his tie and began pulling him through the small window while hitting him in the head with the screw driver he used to start the car.

The cop panicked and tried to pull himself free.

He struggled unsuccessfully because my father’s huge hands had a death grip on him.

As the officer was screaming into the walkie talkie pinned to his uniform his backup rolled up.

At first the second cop was confused as to what was happening.

Once he realized the situation he laughed a little to see his comrade in arms being manhandled by an old man.

He finally though came to the aid of his fellow officer.

It took awhile, but they finally got my father out of the car, handcuffed him, and took him to jail.

I was at work when I got the call.

“We have your father down here for running a stop sign, assaulting a police officer, and resisting arrest.”

“Can’t be I said.” My father’s an old man.”

“He’s here and he wants you to come down and post bail.”

The officer on the phone finally convinced me it was indeed my father they had in custody, so I headed down to get my father out of jail.

Once out of the police station he wanted to go back and get his car.

I explained that the police had towed it in and impounded it.

We could pay for it and pick it up tomorrow.

“Who told them they could take my car. That’s robbery” he protested.

“It’s the law dad. We will take care of it tomorrow.

In the meantime I will drive you home.

You know ma is going to kill you, right?”

“She will understand. She doesn’t like cops either” he said.

I then asked the inevitable question. “So what exactly happened?”

“I was going to let the dog out when this cop stopped me. I didn’t want the poor dog to have to wait.”

“But why did you attack the cop?”

“I didn’t like the way he acted and I wanted to let the dog out.”

It was then that he turned to me and smiled and moved two of his fingers slightly apart.

“I was that close to getting him in through the window. I would have had him then.”

All I could do was smile. That was my old man.

In a few weeks we were summoned to court.

After everything was explained to the judge he asked the police officer to rise.

“How tall are you officer?”

The cop replied, “Six feet six inches your honor.”

“How much do you weigh?” the judge inquired.

“I am 260 pounds your honor.”

“Age?”

“Twenty four your honor.”

The judge shook his head.

“Let me get this straight. You have forty years, six inches, and thirty five pounds on this old man and he was able to incapacitate you?”

“He took me by surprise” the officer replied flustered.

He then turned to my father and said “I don’t know how you managed this, but shame on you.

Act your age or next time you are going to prison. Understand?”

My father nodded his head yes.

With that he banged the gavel and said “That will be time served and a $500 fine.”

As we rose to leave my father and the police officer came face to face.

I watched my father smile at him and move his fingers slightly apart.

The cop knew exactly what he meant.