A Father’s Toast

A Father’ Wedding Toast

There is an Old Italian tradition that says that an Italian man is allowed to cry in public on only two occasions, the first is at the passing of his mother and the second is at the wedding of his daughter.

As sad as is the first, that is how joyous is the second.

A wedding is a wonderful tradition too. It is a time when two people who love each other come together to share that bond in front of their family and friends.

My wife and I are so happy and so deeply grateful that you chose to share this tradition with us. We know that many of you have traveled long hours over great distances at considerable personal expense to be here and that all of you have taken time out of your lives to join us. So if you have traveled down the road or down the coast we thank you so much for coming to celebrate with us.

Now traditions are important and our daughter was raised on them. There was the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade waiting at the barricades at 6 AM for it to begin, the holiday train rides in Pennsylvania, autumn pumpkin pickings at hayrides, Christmas in Rockefeller Center, breakfasts at Howard Johnsons after church every Sunday, and family days when we piled into the car to head out for our weekly adventure.

All of these created wonderful memories.
There is one tradition though that stands out for me tonight.

Those of you who have lived up north know how unforgiving the winters there can be. There are no leaves on the trees, it gets dark early, and the wind chills you down to your very bones each morning as you scrape the ice off your windshield.

Because of this, when you live there, you try to squeeze out the last warm moments of summer before the cold sets in.

Now September is an unpredictable month in Jersey. It can be 80 degrees or it can be the cold harbinger of the winter that lies ahead.

It was in September every year though, that along with my niece, her husband, and their children, that my wife and I would take our daughter to the annual clown parade and festival.

Hundreds of clowns, each one with a unique persona gathered each year in Sea Side Heights for the event.

I remember one year when our daughter was around four we went to one of these parades. The air had a slight nip in it but the sun was so bright that when it hit your face it warmed you all over.

The kids were dressed in their snowsuits and we walked around enjoying ourselves.

At one point our daughter asked if we could get some ice cream. I checked with the others but it appeared she and I were the only ones who wanted it, so off we trotted to the ice cream stand.

We made our choices and holding our cones in our hands we turned to head back to rejoin the group. It was at this moment that she lifted her free to hand to grab mine. Instinctively I reached down to take it. It was so small that it seemed to disappear completely in my hand.

At that very moment the world was perfect. Our daughter was happily eating her ice cream, and with her hand in mine I knew that she was completely safe and protected.

Traditionally, little girls go their mothers for help and guidance at important life changing times. This is because, frankly, moms are smarter and are better at handling those moments.

They come to their fathers though at other equally important times such as when they have a scraped knee, or when they are scared, or when a spider in their room needs to be relocated. We are the ones who teach them to dribble a basketball or swing a bat.

Now any father here tonight who has a daughter knows that there is a special bond between the two of you.

You worry a little more about her, you sleep a little less soundly when she is out late at night, you take extra pride in her success, and some of the worst days of your life are those when she faces disappointment and heartache.

Most of all you do everything you can to keep her safe and protected.

Over the years, you watch her venture out into the world. She begins her education and has many new and wonderful experiences.

As time goes by you see her become her own person and formulate her own ideas, which by the way, she is more than happy to share with you, even if you do not want to hear them.

Father and daughter discussions over anything are often loud and lively. At least they were in our house.

As she grows you notice that she has taken on many of your mannerisms, and hopefully some of your values and beliefs, and if you are very lucky she even begins to root for your favorite team, the New York Yankees, or God forbid the Bostin Red Sox.

Throughout all of these times you continue to hold onto her hand, to keep her safe and protected, because you are still the most important man in her life and the one she counts on.

Then one day you turn around, and in what seems like the blink of an eye, your little girl has grown into an intelligent, independent, beautiful, and strong young lady who has found the right man with whom to share her life.

Our daughter found that man. We are all so very happy that they found each other.

The love of her life is a good looking, smart, and hardworking man who was raised to be a good person. He is also compassionate, generous, kind, and truly cares about others. Most importantly, he loves our daughter.

Now as you know during the wedding ceremony there is another tradition. It may be a bit archaic, but it is very symbolic.

The father of the bride walks his daughter down the aisle. When they reach the front he places her hand into that of the groom’s. It is at this moment, and rightly so, that the groom then becomes the most important man in her life.

This is a bitter sweet moment for any father, but it is filled with more joy than sadness because he knows that his daughter is truly happy and that together the newly-weds will begin to write their own life stories.

So, I say to the happy couple, that as you begin your new journey and celebrate this wonderful tradition of passage, remember that we all love you, we wish you good health, we wish you happiness, and most of all we wish you a future filled with excitement and wonderment as you walk down life’s path together hand in hand.