Over, Over Again

I don't know how to start this without shedding a tear or struggling to keep the smile up throughout these words. However now is the time to be honest and say the things I haven't been able to since the first time we spoke or even started to communicate.

I think we both knew deep down whatever way it would happen it would and me and you weren't actually ever going to work out. I don't know what it is about us but happiness just never really seemed to be an option.

'I want you to feel wanted because you are'

I wish those words you said were true, I wish you really wanted the things you promised me in the past. I will never forget how it happened, even if it wasn't supposed to it did.

I made mistakes, said things I shouldn't of and you did to, that's who we are, we aren't perfect and that what I love about us, we didn't want to be.

I can't sit here and tell you I'm happy your moving on, I can't and I won't because then I'd be lying. It hurts so much to know the one you think you've been in love with for so long is happy in their life without you. I'll spare you the details knowing you don't think highly of my feelings anymore.

I may not be happy with the way things have turned out and you might just enjoy watching me suffer, just like the way I hurt you not to long ago.

I hope you find someone better. I hope you find someone like you, find someone to make you smile the way you always seem to do. Who can be just as random, the way you are. And who knows how to make someone feel special just like you do.

I want you to have the things I didn't have the time to offer you.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I didn't allow you to show me the love many people share but  I was brought up that way. I had never been raised in a house with two parents, I never had the chance to witness what love really was, which is why when you came along I was terrified. I didn't understand why I felt the way I did or how, you was just you, amazingly special in a normal type of way you. I didn't know what to say or do to understand those feelings or why they were happening.

But I  do love you.  I still do I guess I always will, but that doesn't change anything, its over.

The truth behind these words I'm telling now are sadness. I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing next. I had plans with you that wont actually be done now.

I'm okay.

I know after all the soppy things I've said you wouldn't think so but I am. I'm actually okay, I'm feeling more like me.

I missed that feeling.

I'm letting you go as that's what needs to be done. I can see your happy and I'm so proud of you.

I hope you get the great things in life. I hope you fall in love with someone who isn't afraid to love you back.

I hope for the things you hope for.

I'm sorry for you having waste so much time on me, I miss you, I'll always miss you.

Even if its over, over again.

Reviews

[Salvatore]

Really touching story. Now I read all of your ones. I confirm my appreciation for the way you write.
Kisses.

Salvatore

[JodieAnne]

Oh wow thank you! Really appreciate you taking the time to read my writing.

[Lydia Shutter]

The heartbreak in this is very real. Some relationships are not meant to be. Best to accept that and move on. You do have some spelling and grammatical errors sprinkled throughout this work, but the meaning is not effected. Lydi**

[JodieAnne]

Onwards and upwards I always say. Thank you so much for your feedback, it means a lot you took the time to read my writing.