As I Am With You

This is a poem about the doubt of love. When one prepares himself for the let down when something so good with someone so great is going to go wrong...and then it doesn't. From my debut book of poetry BOY GONE CRAZY - The Written Voice: Vol. 1

I write this in the coldest of winters
because warmth is what comes of it
when I write about you.
I’ve imagined what life would be like
before we met and I pour freely my tears.
I would not be able to handle
the phantom that would linger over me
of you as that one possibility I missed.

How did I live before your existence even
came to life in me?
I never understood incompleteness
until you completed me.
It boggles my mind that once
I shared no life with you.

I touch you every day.
Hold you tight to my body,
which I bare all for you to take.

Grace your angelic face. 
So I may know that this is not some dream.
For, if I wake from our bliss,
I want you to be right in my arms
to go forth in it.

I have fought many battles and lost many wars.
Yet, I am victorious and you, my love,
are the trophies I win.
These feelings encompass me into
a fit of anxiety.
That only the vision of you will calm it.

So I ask you, to take my hand and let us be rid of all
these pangs and run as far as the Earth will let us.
Will you follow me as you said you would?
Or will I have to wonder

if all these feelings were ever real?

This is what frightens me, the power of love.
One emotion can be the catalyst for many others.
Naive to the fact that love can either be great

or be greatly deceitful.

 

I hold my hands out

as the wind beckons you to banish
yourself from our truth.

When I felt I lost yet again,

I quickly turned my back on everything

Only to feel your breath on my lips.

I fall into your arms as I sob like a newborn
grasping for his first breath of air.
 And that’s when I knew
I would always love you.

 
Not just in this life,
but also in the heavens where

our spirits will reside.
Even the pits of hell

that may try to part us

will not break my

declaration of love to you.

My sweet, sweet prince
who made me his king.
Rest now so that I may
stare into the brightest light
that comes forth in your slumber
and remember that our love
is pure and real.

The greatest Epiphany.

Who knew that a man

can weaken so easily

yet, be so strong in his devotion

as I am with you.

Reviews

[Boonrassi]

hiya Joel..

I write this in the coldest of winters
because warmth (is what comes of it)

//you want a word that means that.

I would not be able to handle

//waaay too many 'woulds' in here.

the phantom (that(would linger) over me

//avoid would.........verb constructions whenever you can.
the that isnt needed.


the phantom lingers over me.

of you as (that) one possibility I missed.

//not needed.

I never understood (incompleteness)

//you might want a syn for that awkward word.
abridged, broken, crude, defective, deficient, expurgated, fractional, fragmentary, garbled, half-done, immature, imperfect, inadequate, incoherent, insufficient, lacking, meager, part, partial, rough, rude, rudimentary, scrappy, short, sketchy, unaccomplished, unconsummated, under construction, undeveloped, undone, unexecuted, unpolished, wanting
fragmentary, apportioned, compartmental, compartmented, constituent, dismembered, dispersed, divided, fractionary, fragmentary, incomplete, parceled, part, piecemeal, sectional, segmented

//then hit syns of any of the above you like..
incompleteness just aint makin it in there.


until you completed me.
It boggles my mind that once
I shared no life with you.

//ok.. thats it for me..
this word suffers from weak word choice, its not fun to read, many of the lines are simplistic, almost cliche, forgettable.
do you use a thesaurus?
writers ALLWAYS use a thesaurus.. no, not for fancy words, i never use fancy words,
for vivid interesting ones. no one has all the good words in their heads.
good luck
T