Miles

A Story by Jmsavestheday

This is about the distance between two people who are together

There are 300,000 carpet threads between you and I. But those threads may as well be miles for how far away you feel. Ours has been a gravely road at times; barreling forward and skidding to a halt. Invigorating and terrifying. But on these days we travel separately in the same vehicle.

You are rationing "I love yous", I noticed it right away. To what end, I wonder. Do you love me less now? Are you afraid it's lost impact? I assure you the impact of its absence is great. But I can't tell you, can't ask, can't force the words. I'm sure I love you every time I say the words. I say them often because I am reminded often how much I care for you. It isn't a bargaining chip, I couldn't take it back if I wanted.

I wonder if this Forrest of carpet between us, the great devide of two couches and one coffee table is enough to do us in. The air feels like concrete sandwiched between you and me and while my thoughts jackhammer away in my head they don't dent the slab.

A little polite conversation before bed time and then he's asleep. Gone from me again and back only to ask what I'm writing. "when I can't speak the words..." I begin to say. "Are you ok?" The question I've been hoping for, asked in slow molasses sleepy tones. "Yes babe, I think so. I love you"
"...mmhmm"

700,000 cotton fibers lay between us on this bed, but those fibers may as well be miles for how far I feel away from you.