A Letter to Far Away

This is something that I just whipped up, I hope you all like it.

A Letter to Far Away

Written By: Johnny Westbrook

       Dear love,

       It’s been a long while since the last time we talked. Ever since we stepped apart, we nearly lost contact with one another. It’s crazy because we always held each other’s hand, now we’re so far apart that we can’t even find one another.

       I miss you and everything about you. Your dark beautiful curly hair, your possessive eyes, your smile, your laughter, I’m lost without it. It fells like my mind had fell into a bottomless dark hole and have no escape from it. It’s like I feel around the exact came time we divided and went our ways. It was only suppose to be temporary, but somehow, it’s now permanent, because we been apart so long, that we don’t even know where the other is.
       Surely you’re living life to the fullest as I am trying my best to do the same within my prison of a black hole. I wish you were here to help pull me out. All I need is your voice to lead me in the right direction, give me motivation to fight against the pressure of my non emotions that keeps me within the middle of this hole.

       I wonder if you’ve changed since the last time we seen each other, you was so full of life, and loved it as well. I remember when we first met I had a corrupted heart, but being around you all the time changed all of that, you gave me a good heart. Too bad I can’t say that I still have it.

       My heart somehow slowly tainted later after we divided, but I think that since I still think about you and still love you, it’s not as tainted as I might think. Well I guess that I will stop writing and let go this letter for it can find its way to you as I fall further into nothingness. If you get this letter, please let me hear your voice at least once more.

 

       Love Always,

              Mr. Man

 

Author's Note

Thanks for reading... Please Review

Reviews

[xlynne]

when you say "It fells like my mind had fell into a bottomless..." you should say "It feels like my mind had fallen into a bottomless..." and when you say " It's like I feel around the exact came time we divided and went our ways..." i think you should say "I feel like I did around the time we divided and went our own ways..." when you say "Well I guess that I will stop writing and let go this letter for it can find its way to you as I fall further into nothingness..." i think you should say something else, i just don't like that in the story it doesn't seem to fit for me. but that's just my opinion. all just suggestions i hope i'm not being to harsh. i like the idea behind it all though. :)

[Adela Muresan]

The pain of the separation is most obvious in the last part when you speck about the heart and the nothingness.
Anywayz you put it all together great, like the song of the broken heart.

A.M.

[Jennifer Ryan]

I liked the idea behind this. You don't really let the reader know exactly what has happened to this person. He could be in jail, at war, in an insane assylum, or even just in such a deep depression that he feels there is no light at the end of his tunnel.

A couple of things I saw - take these as you will - "It was only suppose" this should probably be supposed.

Also as I read through it you mention quite a bit that they are so far apart. I would either find different ways of saying that rather than writing the same words or possibly filling these repeated parts up with something else the character is feeling. I felt it broke up the flow at times and it could have soo much more depth if you were able to fill this in with something else.

Again just my suggestions. It's your vision do what is best for you.

Thanks for sharing. Good job.