Hens

This one's about being a lonely young mother

I've been a mama for bout 10 years now
and friends are few and far between.

The quilt of chums, which once kept me warm has ripped apart at every seam.

Something within me felt amiss,
A void once filled with female companionship.

But that was lost.
And who needed them anyways?

Hens,
they can be so evil.
And which one's really a friend?

Friend or foe?
Chances are she's probably both.

Still I have this wonderful family.
And they're oh so good to me.
But without a friend to vent to,
Sometimes I feel crazy.

Everytime my little girl makes herself a pal,
I wonder bout the mom,
How maybe she could be my gal.

But Hen's can be judgemental.
And some just full of spite.
I'm young, I'm poor, on welfare...
You might assume I ain't too bright.

So, I haven't a diploma and I gave birth at 17.
These thing's made me who I am
And I would not change a thing.

I have this amazing little person and she makes me better everyday.
And although I may feel lonely,
It will quickly fade away.

One day I will find her,
The one I'll call friend.
And the void will fill itself,
While the quilt is on the mend.

(c) 2015 J. Lee

Author's Note

Part of my soul. Please give any suggestions or critism. I know it's not perfect, but its a part of me and I want it to be great. Thank you for reading, now please speak freely :)
I have tough skin

Reviews

[mattavelli]

Women can be mean... I enjoyed your story. Parts of it had a nice flow.

[E G TEN]

Hello Miss J Lee, a well told semi bio all wrapped up in a
beautiful poem. Words that others may not openly share,
You have told with boldness and pride, and that is worthy
Of respect in my book, and a feature as well.
well done Mum! :-) Thanks for sharing.

[J Lee]

Thank you E.G,that is the sweetest review I've gotten yet. You brighten my morning :)

[E G TEN]

Your welcome.

[terry smith]

I know what it is like not to have friends...at least not nearby, I have moved around a lot and don't stay in touch, life and all, when you can express yourself you are writing well is how I think. good job,and keep writing!

[J Lee]

Thank you very much for reading and taking the time to review. I like your way of thinking, the thing you said about expressing yourself. Well anyways, thank you so much

[Samuel Dickens]

I could never criticize this. It's touching, heartfelt, painful, and full of honesty. While I once ran with the roosters, I'm now a lot like you, and can relate very well to your predicament. I guess we just have to make the most of what we've been assigned.

[J Lee]

Aw thank you. I that was very sweet. Im glad people can relate to this in some way or another

[Joshua Carl Cruz]

Criticism then congratulations- The female companionship part I think would benefit the loss of the word female because later you say hens and that establishes the female sex pretty well. There is a scheme here I can follow and boy do I love the view but the rhythm takews its time catching up here and there unless I am totally stoned and cant read well right now. Anywho, good good good. Like your style

[J Lee]

Thank you. I was pretty stoned when i wrote it, so i may of gotten off track a bit in some parts. Hah, thank you for the critism, i see what you mean now. And thanks for being honest

[Joshua Carl Cruz]

Dude, its a really cool thing to see someone else write something you can relate to and nothave it mean what the other person meant it to mean but still idk it meant a lot to me to read this so thanks you.

[J Lee]

Well thats means a lot to me. So thank you :) i see what your saying and that's awesome that you were able to relate to it in a totally different way. If that makes any sense

[Joshua Carl Cruz]

lol. youre my new fav person. Im a roll a blunt for you.
Hey you're from the valley cali? I'm from Modesto

[J Lee]

Lol. Mos def, roll one up for me cause s**t is dry as hell here right now. It sucks, but hey; I have been getting a lot more work done with this extra motivation, sh'yah

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Awesome. No suggestions, this is probably as good as it can be. Keep sharing your poems. I'll be reading :) 100 points.

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Just like your other work it certainly doesn't disappoint!! I lovely flowing write, and I can feel you in the words! Another wonderful poem!