prologue

A Story by Jessica

i constantly read stories of teenagers in angst...and i am no different. throughout my childhood, and through my teen years i felt the weight of depression and anxiety. born in a wealthy suburban neighborhood, to a well known family i was living the american dream. as trite as it may sound, the money didn't bring my family happiness. yes, i will admit i was granted a life of luxury and i wont deny the niceties of economic stability. in my formative years i believed in the american dream, and pretended to be a part of it. i went to a high school where looks, fortune, and names meant everything. and i believed it. my family is great, but it is only 23 years later that i can look past their imperfections and love them for who they are. their motivations are constantly misguided, but so are mine. for so many years i hated them...at points i know i wished their deaths. throughout high school i drank alochol, used drugs, and hopelessly failed classes. i was part of the in crowd and my main concern was looks and boyfriends. dont think any of this was easy for me. i am not suggesting oh poor me, because trust me i know how incredulous i sound. i was a teenage nightmare. at the time, i thought i was happy. i remember transferring psychiatrists a half dozen times at the mention of depression. i thought they were the crazy ones. i mean, looking at my life, it seemed picture perfect. i had it all. i was thin, good looking, popular, and could have anything i wanted. how is it that now, 23 years later and 60 pounds heavier i feel better than ever.