Silent love

 

‘Does she know about it?’ He asked me when we were enjoying  coffee at  our college canteen during break. He was peering at me, waiting to get the answer of the question he had asked while my eyes were  riveted at her. She was enjoying the coffee too with her group on nearby table.

‘Are you listening to me or not?’ He asked a bit louder in a peevish tone.

‘No’, I replied slowly still my eyes focused on her. ‘Does it really matter if she should know about my feelings for her?’ I asked him as I asided my gaze from her.

‘Yes! It does.’ He replied immediately to which I peered at him in response. ‘Why can’t you understand this simple thing.’ He said. He brought his chair close to mine and softly clutched my left shoulder with his right hand. ‘She is our senior. You know that.’ He added.

I looked  at her again.  She was smiling whilst the other girls were guffawing when someone in their group had cracked a joke. How beautiful she was looking when her front incisors and canines added an additional charm  to  her appealing face. The strand of hair that was constantly falling on her face and she was placing it behind her left ear, naively.

‘So what?’ I asked him in a mystified manner.

‘ It means you won’t ever get her even if you try  your best.’ He said after gulping the last sip of his coffee from the porcelain cup. I didn’t say anything and remained quite because I knew whatever he was saying it was logically correct. I had never thought I would be falling in love and that too with my senior!

‘You can finish your coffee slowly. I have to go to library to complete my pending file.’ He stood from his seat and picked up his sling bag. ‘Well, till beginning of next class in half an hour you can utilize the remaining time  very well here.’ He winked and posted a witty smile as he pointed towards her. I smirked in response.

She was now sitting quietly, busy with her phone while the others were busy in normal gossiping.  Her slender index finger was scrawling on the phone’s screen, perhaps she was using facebook. ‘You won’t ever get her.’ These words that were just spoken by him  were resonating in my mind. Does love means to get  the person you yearn for? I love her, that is what my heart has been saying since the last three months. When I fall in love with her for the first time, I knew she was my senior and was well awared about the fact that I wouldn’t get her ever.

I finished my coffee while conjuring up  that  first week of my one sided love story  when she was sitting on the very same table. Like today she had preferred to remain quite amid the other girls  of her  group.  Sometimes she used to smile with  intermittent glance of coyness over her face. No doubt, she haven’t changed a bit since then.

‘Why you have fallen in love with her despite of knowing all the odds?’ My friend had asked me a few weeks before. I couldn’t reply. Probably I didn’t want to reply his question though I had  an answer.

‘I love her because I feel special and contented to have the true feelings for such an angel. I love her because I want to see that magical smile on her face forever and I will be obliged if I am the reason for her happiness. I love her because I forget my worries and pain when I get a slightest glance of her. It hardly matter wherever she is or with whom she is, the best part of love is you decide yourself to dedicate your life to her without expecting anything in return.’  It was the answer that is still buried underneath the every beat of my heart and is still unveiled.

 Sometimes it become difficult to segregate it from  the motherly love. Simple and yet pure!’