Our Dull Spark

Our Dull Spark

A Poem by Jesica Kiraly-Cunningham
"

To the couple on the train, you were my muse.

"
My eyes crossed the bodies between the carriages.
The train was violent, rustling and thrusting.
His smoke left her lips as you both laughed,
hair wild in the wind,
God I wished that was us,
again for just a moment.

When we started my heart bled gold,
every smile of your's melting it that bit more.
Nowadays I wouldn't think you remember how to smile.
Our worlds move slowly, crossing so often and leaving us both lost,
my body, every inch, every curve,
craving you.

What I would give for us to be there again,
watching his kiss hold her in a trance, reminding her of his love.
Though many years have aged us, bonded us to each other,
depending on each other's breath.
I want nothing more than to feel that fire again.

© 2017 Jesica Kiraly-Cunningham


Author's Note

Jesica Kiraly-Cunningham
Needing help with the structure as I don't really have much experience in poetry. All reviews and help / critique welcome :)

My Review

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Reviews

I think the structure is fine. The story (in poetry form) is written well being you stay with the theme and didn't veer off to something unrelated.

Some memories never leave us. Time makes us wish we could go back again. Funny enough, twenty years from now, you'll make more memories you'll want to go back to when your old and grey.

Nicely done. :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


Relic

7 Years Ago

There is so much to learn about poetry. End lines, alliteration, metaphor, tone....the list goes on... read more
Jesica Kiraly-Cunningham

7 Years Ago

I'm so excited to keep learning, it felt so good to pull this poetry from my feelings and thoughts.
Relic

7 Years Ago

That's what poetry is all about. Being able to express your feelings in a creative way.

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362 Views
2 Reviews
Rating
Added on May 13, 2017
Last Updated on May 27, 2017
Tags: love, broken, help

Author

Jesica Kiraly-Cunningham
Jesica Kiraly-Cunningham

Melbourne, Victoria, Australia



About
I am an 18 year old full time VCE student studying in Australia wishing to use creative writing as an outlet for my emotions and life experiences. My aim on this site is to share my creations and furt.. more..

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