The irreplaceable Undying Love

A love that never dies. A love that has no ending. People change even the attitude but the ability of the heart, mind, body soul to love and care never change.

A chaotic world. A cruel world to live. Thats when i thought that everything messed up in my life, that i lose control of my own life. Though living a mean world is like a hell, i never regret a certain case that brought great changes in my life. Though it's hella suffocating and I'm almost to die, i never regret that something like that happened to me.
To tell you, I once a daughter, a child who haven't feel any love from my parents. I grew up on my own. I became teenage, a youth. Maybe I could say, the best stage in life is being a youth, a teenage girl perhaps. You can do everything. You can have everything. Just like any other youth of today's generarion, I have wasted so much of my time doing nonsense and worthless stuff. "Live wild, young and free", i always heard of that and indeed, i make use of that too. During my time, my story didn't go well. I have once a boyfriend during my college days. He's the only one i have into a relationship. He's sweet, caring and passionate and that made him easy to love. I gave all my love. I gave him my attention and my everything. After a year, he proposed to me. I was so happy and overwhelmed to the point that i could feel my heart to burst due for so much joy. We got married after then and got a beautiful sweet angel. Having her in my arms while sleeping was like heaven. I could felt her short thin breath. I could felt her smooth silky skin. I could felt her heart. The day i labore her was the most unforgettable, memorable and blessful day of my life. I couldn't thought that after carrying a massive thing in my stomach for nine months, after conceiving and eating outrageous foods and after having tantrums, feeling dizzy and nausea, and fighting for your survival and existence a very wonderful and precious gift has given to me. I could cry with smiles on my face. I love watching her sleeping. I love watching her beautiful eyes. I love pinching her pinkish cheeks. I love watching her yawning. And i love watching her very innocent smile. I love everything of her. All the pain and sacrifices are worth to felt.
I watched her grow. I watched her develop her mental and physical ability. I was there when she had for the first time opened her eyes and see the beauty of world. I was there when she had the first word in her mouth. I was there everyday of her life. It was hard to raise a child especially when you were a single parent. My husband died due to some illness. I had to raised her carefully. I had to raised her that she wouldn't thought that she had no father in her side. When she started coming to school, i have to work hard to sustain her wants and wants. I have to work hard for her better future. Her growing stage wasn't an easy way. She had stuffs that I have to sustain and i never regret giving her everything for I got a reward that every mom could be proud of. I knew i raised her perfectly. She studied hard and never failed my expectations on her. But I realize, life without obstacles and circumtances is not a life at all. When she entered high school, I found out that she started dating her classmate without my knowledge. I was upset and disappointed. I felt betrayed by then. I can't avoid myself from comparing her to me. I talked to her with my utmost calm way but she talked back on me and I slapped her unintentionally. She cried in my front trying her best to prevent her clear tears to drop but she was unable to do it. She turned her way on me and run away. I could felt her pain. I could heard her fast breathing and I could felt my heart breaking into pieces. Why did I do that back then? That was the first time I layed a hand on her and I regret hurting her that way.
Maybe one of the desciplinary way of a parent to her child is to give an advice. I was worried about her but after an hour, she got out of her room and started talking to me. She apologize and said sorry. I was relieved. I thought she had hated me already and I can't bear if it'll happen. Most of my time, i spared it with her. I want her to remember that she had always a mother on her side. After a long time of sacrificing, she had graduated college as one of the best students in their university. I coukd still remember the words she said and the words i heard for the first time of my life during her speech. "I can say that I'm not a perfect nor a gifted child at all. I wouldn't be able to be here without someone to depend on. And that someone has raised me up until now. That someone has encouraged me that my deeams weren't out of reach. It's already on my hand and what I gotta do is to nourish it and make it grow. That someone is no other than my mother, my mother for all time. I never say this before but Mom, thank you for everything. Through good and bad times, you were here to cheer me up and never leave me. Mom, i know that words aren't enough but i know deep inside me, you know how grateful i am cause i have you. You know what i feel for you are my mother, my mortal creator. You are the best thing that ever been mine. I love you so much Mom". I couldn't forget about that. I could still feel my racing heart beat. I could still cry for that.
Now, she is already a successful doctor and has already two kids and loving husband juat like her father. I won't regret risking my life for her. I didn't regret sacrificing my life for her. The pains and the heartaches were easily washed out everytime i saw her smiling and living happily with her life. Her succrss is my pain yet my happiness and success too.

Author's Note

I accept critization. I accept bad comments. :) I want to improve my writing skill so whatever advice you have, feel free to comment it down there.