March 13, 2012: Confusion

I move on, yet he comes back... Pardon?

I'm confused by what just happened mere hours ago.

After class today, my friend/ex-boyfriend of a couple weeks waited for me after class, since I like to clean it when we leave.

This did not shock me; he tends to do this a lot.

What got me, though, is him asking me if I wanted to take a walk with him.

The most I do is walk him to his car, nothing more.

So when we walked over to nearby apartments for rent, I still did not think too much on it.

He had told me that he was looking for apartments to help out one of his older friends.

However, it was when we started walking to an open soccer field that I started to get suspicious.

Next thing I knew, as I had told him that I was ready to head back, he pulls me in for a kiss.

It shocked me, but I quickly got over it.

I had already gone through this with him, so.

Unfortunately, he had assumed that he could just make out with me again.

I suddenly became very uncomfortable and told him I did not want to.

He did said that we didn't have to if I didn't want to.

I obviously didn't.

I grew up learning that kissing does not mean you suddenly like someone.

I was taught that by spending time with that person and having fun develops feelings, not make-out sessions.

If that were the case, then I would've just said, "Hey, let's be Friends With Benefits!"

Sorry, but I don't do that, and I never will.

This situation just made me further believe that I have no feelings for that boy anymore.

I should never feel uncomfortable.

I will not rush to my mom about every little detail in my life, so she will not know of this.

As long as he doesn't force himself on me, then I will be alright.

I simply cannot date him again; I've already decided.

Ah, well.

Enough of thinking about it.

I have to deal with him tomorrow morning, so.

I'll see him then, and things will be awkward between us.

Oh well.

That's what happens.