Fukai Mori

A journey of self-realization... and learning that you can tell someone how much you care.

The long steps taken were each with resolve. I am determined to find the truth about myself.

"What are my real goals in life? Can I accomplish them? What can I do to become a better person...?"

These are questions that I ask myself on a daily basis. I find myself within a spiral of Questions & Unheard Answers.

I realize that I have stumbled into the nearby forest. It's funny...

I have lived within this land for so long, yet I have never explored this place.

My mother had always told me to never tread, so I have not. However...

I must disobey her. I must stand up for myself for once. I cannot fathom the last time I was able to build such confidence within myself.

I see myself as a disgrace quite often. I am almost the age of nineteen, yet I cannot speak my mind to my own mother. Today, however, I am determined. I will learn this forest's secrets.

This forest has a name. It is referred to as 'Fukai Mori.'

There is a legend behind this place. Mythical beings were known to exist here. At night, you can see small lights radiate from deep within. I would know; I have seen them.

Though it is Day, I will see what those lights really are.

I look around, to clarify certainty that Mother is nowhere to be seen. I take note that she is not around, so I enter this mystical wonder known as Fukai Mori.

.x.x.x.x.

The legends do not even compare to what I am witnessing.

Fukai Mori is more enchanting than I have ever imagined. The leaves, they shimmer.

The trees continue to grow by the second. The butterflies have wings double their size.

A waterfall is near the pillar of rocks, showing Fukai Mori's pure radiance.

A gust of wind passes by me, blowing my hair with it. I have never felt such peace from a place.

I can almost hear a melody. Perhaps it is Fukai Mori's song?

I had read in a text that if you were to listen closely, you could hear a beautiful song playing within the distance.

I can hear it now.

I slowly walk towards the Melody, taking in everything my eyes can see.

Tears begin to form. I have never seen such beauty.

Within a world of such torment and sorrow, there is a Sanctuary.

Mine is Fukai Mori...

As I walk, the Melody becomes more clear.

"... Do I hear a voice as well?"

My question becomes answered as I see another being appear before me.

"Young one. You have come to Fukai Mori... I sense sadness from you."

This being appears to look like me, but as a male. He has a sad, yet gentle smile upon his face.

"I came here... against Mother's wishes. I wanted to see this world for myself. I needed... a place to escape."

I have much shame written upon my face as I explain.

"You have not experienced what Fukai Mori can really accomplish."

I am surprised at what this man has just told me.

"There... is more?"

He smiles as he gently takes my hand in his.

"I will show you Fukai Mori."

I, together with this man, begin to explore this wondrous place. There are animals that are not known to mankind here. The waterfall...

It does not go down, but up!

Fukai Mori truly is a world within a World.

.x.x.x.x.

This man... I have yet to...

"What is your name, if I may ask?"

He turns to me, his gentle smile still radiant.

"I am Rain."

"... Rain? That name is very uncommon where I am from."

He began to laugh. Even his laugh shows radiance.

"Your world is different from mine."

I am confused, but I merely shake my head.

"My name is-"

"Furi."

"How did you...?"

"There are many things that I do not know about you. Come. She awaits."

I was about to question him more, but he starts to pull me deeper into Fukai Mori.

"What is it that I will see? Who is 'She?' "

"She is the Mother of Fukai Mori."

I look down, confusion written upon my face.

"Mother..."

.x.x.x.x.

The Melody is louder. It is so beautiful... I am mesmerized by the sound.

Suddenly, I hear another voice. It is not mine, nor is it Rain that I hear.

It is another woman, I think. Her voice is beautiful...

As we draw closer to this woman, I realize...

She is not Human.

She has no physical form.

She is no more than a Light. And yet...

Her voice... she is singing.

She sings of Fukai Mori...

Its beauty...

The inhabitants...

Everything evolving within Fukai Mori... she sings.

"She does not talk. She only sings."

I look at Rain.

"Why...?"

"Her voice keeps Fukai Mori alive. She will sing this song for the rest of her life."

"... When her life ends... what will-"

"Fukai Mori will die."

I have never felt such sadness inside of me.

"No... I will not allow that to happen!"

Rain turns to me, smiling.
"She will live a long time, as will Fukai Mori."

"Yes... but! When her life ends..."

"It will be time."

He turns to the Singing Light.
"She sings to protect. Evil shall not be brought here, so long as she remains alive.

She has been a part of Fukai Mori since its birth. Nothing will take her away."

I feel tears falling down my face. I have never cried for something so beautiful...

So pure...

I look at the Singing Light with praise. I turn to look at Rain.
"I wish to live here, in Fukai Mori."

His expression has turned serious.

"What of your family? Your mother?"

I look down, a small smile upon my face.

"It is better... if I do not interfere with her life any longer.

I do nothing but bring her sorrow and stress. It is necessary that I make my own decisions now."

Rain began to nod. He took me by the hand, and watching the Singing Light.

I turn too, tears streaming down my face.

.x.x.x.x.

Mother.

It is Furi...

I am sorry for the pain that I have caused you.

It is only now that I realize that in order to make you happy, I must understand for myself what it means to grow up.

I have left Home... and found a new one.

I'm sure you know where it is.

Please do not worry.

I am safe, and I am taken care of.

I cannot bear to see you cry...

I do not wish to cause you stress.

Though you have hurt me, I know that it always hurt you more.

For this, I am eternally sorry.

Everything that you have been through...

I should not have brought more torment.

You believed in me, and I have let you down.

I am gone now...

Mother... take care of everyone.

I am sorry that I could not say this before I left you forever.

...

I love you.

Author's Note

I've been gone for a while... for this, I am sorry. A very special person to me gave me the inspiration I needed. Thank you.