Water

A little idea popped in my head when drinking water

Water

we need it to live

but we also mistreat it

The most purest thing in the world

 and we go and ruin it

Why?

All so we have a place to put our trash?

It`s not fair.

Not to the water

Not to the fish 

Not to anyone

and not to anything 

Reviews

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

First of all, that's a gorgeous picture of water but awfully large too! Hehe, it's no problem though. Atleast we can enjoy the beauty of your poem and the image at the same time. It helps us, readers, soak in the imagery better. I do agree with you that water is oftenly mistreated and taken for granted. Earth and our bodies is made up mostly of water, so that's why we need it to live. If we didn't have it, well hmmm no humans right? Haha. I personally don't drink much water. I know that we need it or else our bodies will feel dehydrated. That's why I feel so shaky and weak sometimes though, so I regret most of the time. I prefer soft drinks like most people! Again, you suprise me with your words that explain such a more complex topic in the writing world for fellow writers. You choose interesting topics which makes your writing more fun to read and enjoy!

Mistakes:

First stanza looks nicely laid out and worded.

Second stanza-perfect!

Third stanza-I agree with Aaron. That second line isn't crystal clear to your statement.
Also, "It's not fair". You had your apostrophe sort of separated a tad bit too far.

Last stanza- It's wonderful, except why are there so many "nots"?



Ashley Rivers--Dream BIG and you'll win BIG ;)

[Mystic_Angel]

I wanted to make it clear that its really not fair to the creatures or to the water that we are doing that it
i guess that is why I put so many nots haha

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

Haha, it's fine. I was just wondering. You're a great person for caring about the water animals and their habitat :)

[Mystic_Angel]

I try to be a nice person =) and now if I could only swim I would be down there with them haha

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

Haha! I love to swim and so does my younger sister. She's mostly known to be compared to a fish for always wanting to swim. I love to be known as a nice person. It's a great thing :)

[Wolfwind]

Well, other than this line...
"All so we have a place to put our trash?"
Everything makes sense. That line seems out of place, or needs to be expanded upon. and "All so" is "Also" for correct usage.
I would suggest using a smaller version of the picture or downsizing it so that it's only about 600 pixels across before uploading, thus it doesn't push everything else off the screen.

Keep writing! =)
Aaron

[Mystic_Angel]

I will and I wanted to BIG get the picture across so that people could know we are damaging THAT much of the water

[Wolfwind]

If the photo is the size that you wanted, then maybe make the writing bigger too.... right now we see a huge picture and really small writing... the photo takes away from the words.