Not Really a Friend

Bad experiences, reason no longer trust as easily, why its hard to make a true friend. Vented frustrations... this freeform poem expresses.

Not Really a Friend :_( 

You say you care, your actions tell me different

Time is offered, and you say you’ll be there

But you never are, it’s too late by the time you notice

I give you honesty, but all I feel like you offer,

Are high guarded walls, I’m kept only at a distance

I must always just be your afterthought 

A person to go to when bored, but you don’t even do that

Why am I always reaching? 

Can only catch you during the briefest of moments

But then, there is always someone else I’m sure you prefer

I’ve often wondered if you have preconceived notions of me

That when you see me, that you believe something that isn’t true

Yet because of it, you do not trust me, and so you don’t confide either

I’m the last to hear what’s going on… never as it happens

Neither wise or mature in your eyes, probably the only thing you see

Is that I’m broken inside, and am pretty f***ed up

Perhaps that’s why you say “Hello” only now and then

Not out of being a friend, but because you have pity

But I do not need your pity

This bull***t act of yours is getting hurtful

I know I’m not valued by you, so why pretend

With your fake smile, and false care

You don’t even value yourself… and if you did, 

There would be no charade. 

Problem is, lies to you are sweeter than the truth

Keeping that fortress up, and various defenses, far more important

It’s a wonder anyone gets to know your true colors

Beyond the masked joy, and cloaked sense of being “alright”

Even though it isn’t true

Honestly, I need it to end

I would rather the hard and painful truth

Then to be continuously led on by you

Yes you are very friendly, and seemingly true

As much as this thought hurts, we both know

You are just… not really a friend

Reviews

[NotUsinganymore]

Very nice, I think as people we can all relate. I remembered I had a friend who pretended to be a friend but spread outrageous rumors.

[Carthage Thorne| The Wildcard]

Awww, that's terrible. The truest friendships are those which I've grown to know that for certain, no matter what they will not only be honest... but better yet, they will even go so far as to help you remain accountable and to keep you from falling, and if you do... they would be there to help you get back up. Hard finding that sort of friendship these days, especially with how media portrays "relationships" just in general, now people can't even be "friends" without so many assumptions or hidden notions that the other person could want something more than a strictly platonic relationship.

[NotUsinganymore]

I have a good friend luckily. We're like brothers and we do everything together c: We're pretty platonic like we wrap our arms around each other and one time I used his shoulder to sleep on on the train.

[KevinKevz]

F**k Fake Friends, We don't need them. Lalalala- bebe rexha

[Carthage Thorne| The Wildcard]

To learn from them, I feel is one of the take-aways from false friendships.

[SofiaBeliever]

True to the bone, and the poem came at me from a close relationship perspective. It appears the writer was hurt by someone close so I can relate in many of the term words chosen. Thanks for sharing

[Carthage Thorne| The Wildcard]

Thanks! The whole point of this poem was to bring out that perspective and indeed make it easy to relate though its sad for those who have had friendships or even relationships that were like this. Often times one can see they have so much potential... often its just that one thing that has made it poisonous however. I often do wonder if there are stories where the ending was not quite so... harsh. Perhaps there was hope that followed after a change for the better.

[Coyote Poetry]

We shall have few true friends. Sometime better to dispose of fake people. Try to find people with same goals. I liked the honest thoughts Carthage.
Coyote

[Carthage Thorne| The Wildcard]

I've grown to learn how to handle a few things so far in life, but truthfully those who wear such extremely detailed masks and speak in lies instead of truth, those are the ones that I have not been ever able to handle well. I guess I'm still learning.

[Coyote Poetry]

A real friend will loan you their last ten dollars and help fix your car at 3am. I had two. One lost to war. You will do fine. Just leave the naysayers behind.

[Carthage Thorne| The Wildcard]

Very sound advice. Thanks! And sorry to hear about your friend, I'm sure they were worth the time spent.

[Declan]

Nice work. I enjoyed the topic.
Reminds me of old advice from a book;
Its is said that if you want to see the true mind of your friend, then you should get sick.
Most people can rely on you when in trouble, but they will never even think of you once they are out of their trouble.

[Carthage Thorne| The Wildcard]

Thanks! And in a way it is sadly true. Friendship is a valuable thing, something I have grown to cherish which is why I believe in friendships that are "truer than true" as the saying goes.