Thoughts About Thoughts

Everyone has their off days, right? And sometimes you have days that are just really horrible. And everyone has their own coping-mechanisms. Some people drink, some eat, some listen to music, some make music, some hide away, some read, some write. Me? I write. Not stories, no. I write out my thoughts. I write until my mind is empty, until I can't form sentences anymore and my hand doesn't want to move. I write because it makes me feel better. I write on loose pages. Some are a few days apart, some a few weeks and then there are those that are months apart. These thought-pages, as I call them, is therapy to me. It cures me. For a while, until the next tragedy takes place. Sure, they're not always tragedies but you know what? Don't let anyone tell you that you can't be sad about a minor detail that means a lot to you. Don't let them tell you that other people have it worse, that your problems are nothing compared to theirs. You don't compare your problems to others, that's silly. We all live in our own little worlds, we are the main characters of our own stories, and everything that happens to us have an effect. No matter how insignificant your problem may seem, it doesn't mean that you can't be legitimately unhappy about it. People tend to forget that...

Sometimes I read through old thought-pages. They make my mind race. I read old things and thoughts of "what made me so sad?" and "why can't I remember these things?" pop up and I realise that those problems really were insignificant. If I can't remember what made me so miserable 3 years ago, then it didn't have an impact on my life now even if it did change me in some sort of way. I didn't know it back then but those issues really were insignificant but I had to grow up and grow into myself to realise that. Nobody could have told me that it would end that way. But when someone is unhappy, I will tell them that it'll pass. That things will get better. If only to make them feel a little better and give them back a little shred of hope. If I got better, why can't they? Surely they deserve it...?

I'm not good with feelings, I despise them, I can never express myself properly or help other people feel better so I tend to avoid such situations. But sometimes I need to try, sometimes I need to make someone feel better, sometimes I need to just be there... But I can always count on writing to help me out... I think I'm not too horrible with words... I can put them in order and create or destroy worlds, I can create my own story if I wanted to... I can calm my mind and gather my thoughts. I can make myself better.

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Reviews

[Justin]

that was really good :) writing is the best way to get your thoughts across :)

[JinnHell]

Thank you! :)

[Justin]

your welcome, keep it up and i will continue to read them