Love and Misery

Not sure if it's entirely an acceptable writing style but hopefully it works...

Sammy thought she had it all figured out.

She got a phone when she was relatively young - about 11 or 12 years old. She joined a few social networks and mostly found a bunch of creeps. But there were a few people she enjoyed talking to. She started talking to this one guy, Mark, when she was about 13 years old. He ended up being one of her closest friends, even though he didn't live nearby. Five years later she still had contact with him, they weren't just close friends anymore and they still hadn't officially met.

Sammy was never a social person - she struggled making friends, she didn't like talking to strangers and people just generally annoyed and ignored her. She got her first boyfriend when she was 16 and he was also her first kiss. She met him a while after they started chatting on some dating website. They dated for about four months, but then he left her because she moved to a different town and it was too far for him to drive. She wasn't very sad about it because, after nearly three years of chatting to Mark, they ended up really liking each other even though they've never met. They thought that they were made for each other. This is was the reason she was unable to establish an emotional connection with other guys. Sammy and Mark agreed, and were very hopeful, that they would eventually meet, start a relationship and spend forever with each other. They also agreed that it would be okay for each of them to date other people while they were too far apart to be together as a couple.

Three months later, Sammy met another guy on the same website. She wasn't very interested in that one because he was a jock and Sammy didn't like sporty people. But she said yes when he asked her to be his girl because she thought it would be an interesting experience. Sammy never wanted a serious relationship but he said he did. They dated for exactly three weeks. In that time, she also met one of his friends, James. James was a fairly insignificant part of her story at that time, but she didn't know that would change not long after. This guy (not James, the first three guys' names are just not important) left Sammy because they were "too different" and wanted different things. This was true, but he really just found someone who was more his type. They were already together the day after he left Sammy.

Four more months passed and Sammy started talking to her third potential boyfriend. (Yep, you guessed it - same dating site!) They were dating for a month when James and Sammy started talking. (James made contact with her through the dating site. She checked in about once a week out of curiosity. And only added very few people if it looked like they could become a new friend.) After dating for 2 months, the third guy left her mostly because she wasn't religious and he was. Also because she still didn't want a serious relationship and he wanted someone who would eventually want to marry him. During everything, she still chatted to Mark. Not very much though because he didn't have a phone for a long time and would only sometimes be able to talk to her on a friend's phone.

(Is emotional cheating a real thing? Sammy always had feelings for Mark but they weren't doing anything physically wrong. Neither of them would cheat on their partners, whether there was a strong emotional connection or barely any feelings at all. Sammy started feeling guilty after her friend mentioned "emotional cheating" to her.)

Sammy and James hung out the weekend after the third guy dumped her. They were unofficially together for about four weeks and officially dated for just over a week. Soon after being dumped, Sammy started having real feelings for James. He was an amazing guy at first but he had major trust issues from being cheated on too many times. He was really great until Sammy wanted to visit her only male friend (who didn't have any interest in her.) James threatened to decapitate her male friend if she misbehaved. He was also very unhappy to hear that they chilled in the friend's bedroom and said she had no respect for their relationship. Sammy thought it was perfectly okay as long as they both behaved. After they've been dating for a week, Sammy had to take her scooter for a service. She arranged with her male friend to pick her up from the service place. She was very distracted and preoccupied that morning because she was stressing about some things. Because of this, she neglected to tell James about the arrangement. James found out about it after she posted something on Facebook and he accused Sammy of cheating even though she wasn't hiding the fact that they were hanging out. She had no reason to be hiding things. She was very hurt by such accusations and it was the first time someone had broken her heart. During these last two situations, Mark got a new phone and was, later on, very busy with a new job and wasn't talking to Sammy very often.

A week after James left her, Sammy got an invite on Facebook from a stranger, Damien. She sent him a message and they started talking. Sammy and Damien realised that they had a lot in common and despite only chatting for a week, they felt as though they had known each other for years. Damien was a great guy with some issues and Sammy had quite a few issues but they accepted each other, flaws and all. They had many hopeful conversations about the possible length of their relationship. They hoped to be together for a very long time. They started dating a week after they first started chatting. Sammy felt that she could eventually trust Damien with her heart and he felt the same. They were both still very guarded after having their hearts broken though.

After they had been dating for a week, Sammy received a message from Mark. They chatted for a while and enjoyed each other's company but they were both unhappy. Mark was having problems at home but Sammy was just feeling guilty and confused. After being with Damien, she started having doubts about her situation with Mark. She wanted to be with Damien for an extended period of time but she still wanted Mark to be her forever. Sammy didn't know what she wanted anymore and nobody could help her. She was lost and confused. But most importantly - she was feeling numb. Positive emotion had escaped her and she was left with nothing but sadness and confusion. Sammy never told any of the guys she dated about Mark but she was honest with Damien about her confusion over what she wanted. He understood and said he'd give her some space to figure things out. Sammy feared she'd become distant and unfair toward Damien by keeping him waiting. Sammy wanted the feelings of hope and happiness back, to plan her future with Damien. To be the girlfriend he deserved by being the girl she wanted to be. Happy and hopeful, yet still careful and slightly guarded against pain. Sammy needed to fix things within herself before she felt she could be accepted again. She wanted to make Damien happy. She thought he deserved it. But before she could attempt to make someone else happy, she needed to fix herself and learn to be happy by herself.

The End.

Author's Note

Would like to know if I'm at least a decent writer. Criticism is welcome :) and so are compliments of course :D

Reviews

[Lyric]

You are an extremely decent writer, but if you're sure you want constructive criticism, I thought you were a little straight to the point, maybe you're just that kind of writer but I had a bit of a problem connecting because it was like, she did this, she did that, but I very much enjoyed, great job I'm looking forward to more :-)

[JinnHell]

Yes, I do suppose it doesn't "flow" very well. But thank you! I do plan on posting a lot more :D and will definitely work on the flow of things