the way[her hands]she-;

A Poem by Jimi Brady

Reality meets hope.

I fell[into her arms]asleep last night,
Lost[in all of her]between the sheets,
Eyes[only for her]closed to shut out the light,
[Her]hand against my chest to comfort me;

But I miss her all the same[,so I open my eyes]
Thinking how lovely it would be to see her again[as I see her tonight],
And her[taste](memory)on my[lips](mind)all the time,
And the way she[traces](says)[her love](my name)[on my back]
sending shivers down my spine;

© 2013 Jimi Brady

Author's Note

I'm not sure how obvious this is, but the words in brackets/parentheses are what could be; everything else is what is.

My Review

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Reviews

creativequill

Beautiful poem loved the way you structured it, definitely made it more interesting to read with the double images going through it, great job!

Posted 11 Years Ago

Amanda Granger

The double entendre here (and I don't mean that exclusively in a sexual sense, to clarify ;p) is fantastic! You can literally read this work in several different ways and take away more than one meaning (as you pointed out in your note I just realized >.>) yet it's all coherent. It's not only aesthetically pleasing, but it's deeply romantic and smart. Those two don't seem to coincide that often. I like the ending with a semicolon, as though there's more, and it's related, and there's a sense of varying outcomes as well, depending on rather your lover is near you or not. A sense of wishing for something so greatly that it becomes real--the spaces where what could be (highlighted by brackets) and what is (the parentheses, far more temporary than the impression of the brackets) blend and merge in that one special, personal place, the place you create with this poem. Empathetically, beautifully crafted, Jimi.