Invidiae;

Within and without me, and it’s all I can do to sleep
  so soundly and softly and my dreams aren't so bad
                                         anymore, no more, like leaves
                                         on the wake of the faintest breeze; 

                                          love like a breeze; tension to ease
   passion and compassion and oh, baby oh baby, please
                don’t let me think you’re staying
                                here when you’re saying
                                            you’re here for me;
                                don’t let me think you’re going
                   when I know the only road out of here,
                                                and it’s away from me;
                                                                                 away,
                                                                                    away,
                                                                                       away,
                                                                                          a way;
                                                                                             Invidiae. 

Reviews

[sithlordjp]

This is a great example of how content dictates form. It's very fitting how the words are laid out toward the end... They slip away, falling, fading, coming undone.... The repetition of" away" is a powerful echo, and yet the last one" a way", trying to break the pattern and introduce a glimpse of hope? So much meaning in this, well done!

[Sami Khalil]

like leaves
on the wake of the faintest breeze;
love like a breeze; tension to ease
passion and compassion ...
My faves in this nice well written poem...:)

[anartao]

Absolutely beautiful work brother.
" don’t let me think you’re going
when I know the only road out of here,
and it’s away from me; "
I love the way you've bought across the pain in the inevitability of this.
Great poem !

[Amanda Granger]

The way the lines move away, to the right, fits the poem so perfectly. The writing itself has a certain pull to it; it tugs at the heart strings and leaves you breathless with the frantic thought of losing someone you love, that you're so attached to--yet you know it won't stay, it's not meant to be. And maybe you envy their ability to walk away when you obviously cannot (hence what the title and the final word represents, that enviousness and bitterness). Such a beautiful flow to your words, like a constant melody weaving from one line to the next. I particularly like the rhyme scheme too, as it suits the form in its building crescendo. Beautiful work, one of my favorites, in form, theme, style, and rhyme scheme. :)