Unsent

i hope maybe i haven't really lost my mind;

    that paper isn't always buoyant

    and ink is highly soluble.

i guess brain power truly is relative ...

 

these are probably journal thoughts

but my journal is overcrowded with politeness

as if the only person i really can't show my feelings to

     is.me.

so i'm dropping this anvil in an envelope and sending it your way.

 

i'm at some sort of point, i think

(turning or breaking, im not sure which)

 

so ~

if you could …

please produce yourself here this second …

come in a whiff of heady spice or a puff of smoke;

squint your eyes in my direction and tell me a story

for i do so want something good to happen.

 

and if i space my breaths out just right,

i might have enough left in me to last until you arrive

Reviews

[Tobes]

As someone who has always been afraid of the honesty I felt a journal required, and who's written literally thousands of letters, there is a certain poignancy in this for me.
Technically, I was once "corrected" by a well-intentioned older lady about my use of the lower case "I" in the first person. It was just because, at the time, I didn't feel very deserving of my very own capital letters. Those insightful enough realized this extra depth of expression beyond the language, and the experience was all the richer.
And I said that because I wonder if you didn't do something similar here? Or was it just a whim of style?
I'm new here, but I will try to find some newer work of yours.

[J]

Hi Tobes, what a remarkable review, full of honesty and insightful thought. You are spot on about the use of lower case letters . They appear without conscious thought when yes, I feel 'less than' and really don't care. and you are the only one who noticed -- or said something. These days tho, I type w/one hand and using caps takes extra effort. haha

welcome to WC! i'm very happy to meet you and delighted you stopped by. i'm grateful for your perceptive review and thank you. i look forward to reading your work.

[Moflo]

I like this piece, it progresses so steadily and, as a result, offers a compelling write. Great detail as well!!

[Gandré]

my cute philosopher lady :)))

[Havoc08]

I really love your take on this message in a bottle. I have been in this kind of limbo before. Its nice to have thoughts I have written in such a beautiful way. Thank you

[Dean]

Poetry with content, that is fun to read! That's a winning combination, milady. I'll be looking at more.

[Elege]

This has so much relation to my own thoughts. Thank you for reminding me about myself, it was needed.

[MOON]

I do love this, your unique and gentle voice and choice of words beautiful. hiding from your own feelings, so true and such a gem the way you put it.

[shultzfeather]

swell, like growing, an amusement thing, got into it, moreso thing, progressive, cool, real, touching too, caught me up. j, I pushed "view more writing" and I get the same 4. Zup

[......]

such a lovely write. Enjoyed.

[Deandra Dawn]

Very nicely done.

[LJW]

Very unique, unforced. The last 2 lines are golden.