Unsent

i hope maybe i haven't really lost my mind;

    that paper isn't always buoyant

    and ink is highly soluble.

i guess brain power truly is relative ...

 

these are probably journal thoughts

but my journal is overcrowded with politeness

as if the only person i really can't show my feelings to

     is.me.

so i'm dropping this anvil in an envelope and sending it your way.

 

i'm at some sort of point, i think

(turning or breaking, im not sure which)

 

so ~

if you could …

please produce yourself here this second …

come in a whiff of heady spice or a puff of smoke;

squint your eyes in my direction and tell me a story

for i do so want something good to happen.

 

and if i space my breaths out just right,

i might have enough left in me to last until you arrive

Reviews

[Tobes]

As someone who has always been afraid of the honesty I felt a journal required, and who's written literally thousands of letters, there is a certain poignancy in this for me.
Technically, I was once "corrected" by a well-intentioned older lady about my use of the lower case "I" in the first person. It was just because, at the time, I didn't feel very deserving of my very own capital letters. Those insightful enough realized this extra depth of expression beyond the language, and the experience was all the richer.
And I said that because I wonder if you didn't do something similar here? Or was it just a whim of style?
I'm new here, but I will try to find some newer work of yours.

[J]

Hi Tobes, what a remarkable review, full of honesty and insightful thought. You are spot on about the use of lower case letters . They appear without conscious thought when yes, I feel 'less than' and really don't care. and you are the only one who noticed -- or said something. These days tho, I type w/one hand and using caps takes extra effort. haha

welcome to WC! i'm very happy to meet you and delighted you stopped by. i'm grateful for your perceptive review and thank you. i look forward to reading your work.

[Distant horizons]

Keep breathing. Words said/unsaid, wished and thought, compel, compound and confuse us into not knowing which should be which. Said in such a soft and tender style, despite the urgency expressed. Thank you for sharing.

[J]

thank you lorry for such a thoughtful review. very kind of you to stop by and read me. :)

[Larry Dyson]

truly a tear to my thoughts and eyes...ty Laury

[J]

again, a most thoughtful review. thank you, laury.

[lee von cleef]

like the song "Praying "For a flower pot to fall, on your head" Then the clever Irish side blows and the velvet of her skirt is snatched in a breath of wow as we see she is wearing tall top boots.My father would say "See that lady over there ? She is "patting" for a dance".

[J]

omg! where did you come from?! lyrically hilarious!

[lee von cleef]

My head only works like this when I really have to be somewhere else, Yes and poop I gotta go. smoke and mirrors slight of hand , thanks this is fun!

[Ken Simm.]

Something good has happened. This was written.

[J]

[smiles] thank you, ken. always thrilled when you stop by. :)

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

This was very well penned! A part of me could truly relate this poem! It has some deep meanings! Excellent writing.

[J]

thank you very muchly for the highest compliment. :)

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Welcome!

[KAREN]

I love you style of writing, It's fresh and relateable!
100/100

[J]

thank you so much for your encouraging remarks ... very kind of you to take the time to read and comment ~ makes me smile. :)

[icelandicblue]

I love your tracking tool- the anvil. I found the whole picture you created to be cryptic and compelling. Nicely done!

[J]

thank you for your aspiring words, blue!

[Oblivion]

Beautiful and is filled with passion. Love it.

[J]

many thank yous, poet.

[Sandy Beach]

How sad to find this as the only piece of you that I can find. This was a beautiful, intelligent piece, written from the heart. Too bad I am not the person you hoped could or would produce themselves in a whiff, but I am running as fast as I can now with only a glimmer of hope you will return. :)

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

So very lovely... love the last couplet. You are a gifted writer.