The Truth About Rain

Standing amongst my ruins and triumphs

wringing hands, yet sure of foot

writing poetry on the back of my hand to

     file

later

in alphabetical order

 

an arrhythmic rain teaches me of the complexity of time,

the probability of common threads

     stringing words across flexing borders

in the most unlikely sequences;

 

as toes curl inside my shoes,

fingers dance about Sunday songs

and beckon to braided moonlight settled

and soothed by

 

     a ballet of dragonfly wings

lightly touching

     wondering where ~

as feathers left to lofty ascension

     arbitrary as a missed heartbeat.

 

But if the humidity of morning  should be

mistaken for drying tears upon my cheek,

     i swear

i wear a necklace strung of stardust and sand

from the sea

And i have never been afraid of the double-edged sword

that

   cuts

       me

too.

 

Yet.  here i kneel

amongst my ruins and triumphs

tears mimicking rain drops on my cheeks

     still

loving.you.

Reviews

[Dean]

Lots of creative use of device, here...and I very much like the postponement of the expression of love. It makes one want to really look at both the content, and the devices, while admiring the creative alliteration in the third stanza. Very good work!

[Call It A Day]

Where do you come from? Lord help me, I just can't get enough of your writing! You have such an understanding of how abstract our reality can be. Alliteration may be one of my favorite tools in writing because it creates such a soothing atmosphere, as you have obviously mastered. Whatever you have in those fingers of yours, share it, because it's just too cool.

[Arthur Henn]

J - This is a beautiful lyric of a poem - Love the way you have formatted it.

[bobby]

a ballet of dragonfly wings

lightly touching

wondering where ~

as feathers left to lofty ascension

arbitrary as a missed heartbeat.
to me this is rain and I loved the color and use of unusal word choice

[Desert Dreamer]

A magical world...your words remind me that how we experience the world all depends on how we perceive it...the world can be wonderful and full of magic or it can be mundane and painful...such beauty found in your words, amazing, has me breathless, wanted to follow in your footsteps...

[Jaweena...Eileen Quinta..]

It seems we are frequently pondering our "ruins and triumphs" especially when love is brought into the picture. Great description of how powerful the emotion LOVE is, at the beginning....
"Standing amongst my ruins and triumphs
wringing hands yet sure of foot"

and ending with

"Yet. here i kneel
amongst my ruins and triumphs
tears mimicking rain drops on my cheeks
still
loving.you."
Beautiful p

[Larry Dyson]

If I saw this happening..I would know that dragonfly wings were carbon paper for the laying down of descriminating prose ...By the writer who dips Her Pen in arrhymic rain drops and drips her words upon this page...
loved this stanza...
"an arrhythmic rain teaches me of the complexity of time,

the probability of common threads

stringing words across flexing borders

in the most unlikely sequences;
"

[Ed Hart]

here is where your mind soars and your heart blossoms, where you stand aside inside yourself, and let the magic flow

[CR8TEME]

Its so pretty, I like how it flows and has such great description.

[Kerry O'Connor]

This is a very beautiful lyrical poem, with absorbing motifs pinned to the emotions you express.

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

Filing in order yet out of order...........among my ruins and my triumphs, simple and chaotic...........I love the orderly disorder described.......yet here I kneel, tears mimicking raindrops on my cheeks............still loving you. A magnificent piece J.