a dream of frayed edges

warning: dark and and disturbing

the line is short

yet the edict had been dreadful and absolute:

No exclusions!  No exceptions!  All will be

prosecuted!

 

in my left hand i held

a single sheet of paper torn from

a yellow legal pad.

how appropriate, i thought

 

nearly illegible pencil scratch filled

the entire page, front, back, down the

margins, between the lines, little arrows and drawings

of

pine trees ... chipper things

 

this was not my usually neat, pretty,

handwriting.  though

my own thoughts nonetheless

 

i never write with a mechanical pencil.

 

one sheet of paper was allowed, but not the pencil

    nor the stuffed animal i tried to hide under my shirt

 

The Crusher

loomed ahead in monolithic

doom

malignant, malevolent

 

there came a stomach-churning crunch as the internal

plates ground down

compacted

crushed

 

     my last willful thought as i placed my bare

foot on the bottom step of stairs sticky with

ooze . . . seemed

Suddenly. Urgently.

       Pertinent

 

would it hurt less if i’d wrapped my skull in bubble wrap?

 

Reviews

[Ed Hart]

yes, your honor, i didn't do it, she scared herself to death...oh, it was a horrible sight, cutting off the fingers, an all...before i got there, you understand...anyway, she was still talking to herself about some guy that done her wrong...like that fella in Dickens book about expectations that left the girl with a hundred layers of wedding cake...

jill, this is a wonderful dream...a deep and powerful cleansing...don't let it get away; that is you talking to you...it couldn't have come at a better time in your life...love

[J]

hahahahahaha! expectations, nevermind great ones, are a wicked loophole --- all bound up w/hope and such.

the symbolism in this dream --- confounding to be truthful -- but powerful, definitely. i can still "feel" it, see it. couldn't find a photo of stairs to fit -- they were on the outside of this building, cement, no banister, leading to the platform ... significant in some regard.

i'm grateful for your insight, dear ed. i'm no good at dream interpretation -- apparently i duuno how to listen to my own bad self. xxx

[Neville]

This is a great write indeed and I can't give you enough credit for .... smashing stuff, Neville

[J]

hahaha - you're a love, N. Sometimes it's the only thing to do.

Thank you for your ever-gracious thoughts. x

[WhiteWillow]

Hello friend!!

Yes, dark and disturbing, but never disappointing. Even your darkest images shimmer with your words. Keep writing! Keep writing! I can never get enough of your work.

~Meg

[J]

sweet meg! how can i thank you for embracing even the worst of me? i generally shy away from posting negativity as i know it doesn't do much for the soul. but ... but, the world is a mess and i chose to acknowledge that i am afraid and my dreams apparently reflect that. it does no good bury one's head -- it's dangerous out there whether you turn on the news or not. thank you, sweet one, for your kindness and support. x

[emmajoy]

Read this with near dread at first, realised it was more too clear imagery than reality - not that that makes it any better. Whatever your theme, you write with emotional clarity - if that makes sense; there's truth in context yet sharp emotions wrapped around as if mind and heart are working in harmony...

Love you work, j.. and always have.. tis wonderful to have you back.. Stay well, love.. as can. x

[J]

darling em, just the fact that you would brave such darkness makes me smile. bless you. i know many do not like nor support my dark side, but it is part of me, too. to deny and stuff presents such falseness, the heart canna abide. for how is one to know and savor the light without contrast? thank you for your gentle support and insight, dear friend. thank you for coming . xx

[SkinlessFrank]

Yes ! The juxtaposition of the writing, the stuffed animal, and the unstoppable machinery make for extra disturbing imagery, like the totalitarianism of regimes past and present, and our own unforgiving self-judgment. I feel the bone shattering, smell the oil and rust.

[J]

lol D! thought this might be of interest to you. who knows where these kinds of dreams come from -- the mind has such hidden landscapes whose appearance seems confined to the safety of the dark. this one was a doozy. thank you for your thoughtful comments, dear friend :) xx