So Comfortable

I wrote the first draft of this poem one night when I couldn't fall asleep. Since then I have rewritten and edited it more times than I care to count. This is the latest version.

The night has come,
I'm here to lie
to skip tonight,
to wake today.

I’m under covers
with my pillows,
with these comforts
I’ll wake tomorrow.

In fact,
I am

so comfortable that
enshrouding blankets of black abate,
solitude's quiet seduction assumes,
rather soon I will be sleeping.

Just now,
I am.

But, ugh, this pillow,
it is somewhat small.
My covers are hot.
It's time to shift. 


Yes,

              that's

    much

                            better.

In fact,
I am

so comfortable
my eyes are tired,
my body's limp,
I couldn't move
if I desired.

Just now,
I am

so comfortable
my eyes are closing,
my body's refreshing,

here I lie;
I am dreaming.

In fact,
I am -

but what was that?

                             I  a m   su  re

                    i   wa  s
                     t                          nOth  ing.

                                      n
                          I  t    d d   't    soun  d     like
                                   i

owls asking or the wavering winds whispering,
it wasn't the sea and shore shivering.

A voice!

But what did he say?
A name?
A place?
It sounded familiar.
But what did she say?

No, no, no,
that's not important.

Just now,
I know

the night has come,
I need to lie,
I must skip tonight,
I must wake today.

In fact,
I can’t.

My pillow's thick,
my covers smother -
sticky, slippery, hot sweat.

I need a different posture.
I suppose that'll do.
I lie to skip for what comes after.

Just now,
I try.

Perhaps if
I count sheep.

One...
   Two...
      Three...

Three!

I forgot to bring her three!
not two
but three!
She mentioned three!
She only wished for three.

No!
that's irrelevant,

merely
only
just
a memory.

Tonight,
I won't.

The day has come
I've tried to lie;
awake last night,
I'll skip today.

She's under covers
with his pillows,
without her comfort
there's no tomorrow.

Author's Note

I'm up for all sorts of opinions, observations, and advice.

Reviews

[Relic]

I was just listening to some jazz songs I never heard before (Chet Baker), and decided to read this while listening. This was real comfortable to read and I liked the idea of not being able to sleep with her in the back of his mind.

Interesting read.

[Kibbles and Quips]

Hm, that's an interesting way to read this poem. I will have to give it a try! Anywho, I am so happy you enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing that idea, too! And, of course, Thanks for reading!

-Kibbles

[Taino]

I loof forward to reading more of your work. This was very relaxing and enjoyable to read. I like the disorder of fragmentation of some of the words and letter, you can visualize the process of finding just the right portion, spot, temperature zone to welcome sleep.

[Kibbles and Quips]

Thanks, friend! Glad you enjoyed it.

[Shae-Leigh Johns]

I like this piece; I find it interesting the way you played with the placement of the letters too. you really are an amazing writer and yeah

[Kibbles and Quips]

This is one of my favorite poems I have written. So, thank you very much! The disjointed letters and words came from my latest edit and is my favorite of my additions. But thank you again!

[Shae-Leigh Johns]

yeah of course. :)