The Smiling PalorA Stage Play by Jhuang A betrayed desparate middle-aged woman struggled between toleration and total collapse. The Smiling Parlor
Characters Ling A middle-aged woman from
an upper middle-class family in southern Mei Ling’s best friend. She
has divorced with her husbands more than fifteen years’ ago. Zhang Jian A project manager in a
construction company. Feng The caretaker in Ling’s
house. The Old Man Zhang Jian’ father and has been paralyzed
in bed for two years. ACT I SCENE I SETTING: In a wide, neat and well-decorated parlor of
a villa, one end of which has a stair that leads upstairs, two middle-aged
women are sitting on the sofa and drinking tea. The style of the parlor is
modern with polished glass-faced tea table and a large wall type TV hanging
under the pale blue chandelier. Some architecture models of Chinese traditional
style are on the shelf of the showcase beside the window and a Chinese
landscape painting is on the wall. AT RISE: LING(™) is the hostess
of the house. She is in her early 40s. Her age is leaked by her wrinkled face,
even though covered by heavy make up. She wears a brown coat with small flowers
and shows an air of nobility and refinement. Her guest, MEI (美), is similarly dressed
but does not has the tenderness that the hostess possesses. She has a long
curly hair which flows smoothly down on the black silk scarf she wears on her
shoulder. ) LING I am lonely,
never so lonely deep in my heart. It is that chilly loneliness which makes my
teeth shudder. MEI Huh�"so�" LING It is your word
that loneliness is the shortest way to desperation. To that I would add
insanity. MEI I’m sure he is
more lonely and helpless than you. And it is my firm belief that all men are
lonely. MEI (Continued) Tonight when you
are in bed, you can observe where he lays his hands in full sleep. If he put
them on his thigh, well, he is moderately lonely and wants your comfort. If on
his head, he must be very lonely and is seeking comfort from another woman. If
on his heart, ah, he is so lonely that even that other woman can not console
him and he is in deep remorse for his wrong decision to resort to that certain
woman. LING He never sleeps
before I do. Always be occupied with those management or business books which
he takes as his Bible. Sometimes I wonder why are there so many books on
telling you how to make money. Those are the devils which devour people’s life. MEI If there are as
many books on telling you how to love and get love, people’s life would also
certainly be devoured. LING I’m dumb to love
now. I do not know what it is. I’ve never known it. MEI Then go out and
find it. Night clubs. Single parties. Love is waving to you. Women of our age
are surprisingly popular now. LING (chuckles) My son is already
an adult now. I would not be an old siren and swagger around and shame my son. MEI Then why your
husband did? LING Because he is
such a shameless b*****d. MEI It’s no wonder
that a person who learns traditional Chinese stuff is so conservative. LING You learned
modern avant-garde stuff, huh? LING (Continued) Then who
accumulated a whole bottle of sleeping pills and telephoned me and said we
would meet in next life when facing a divorce? MEI Oh, I was
pretending then. It was a threat to He Qiang (何强) to leave the
house to me. LING Really? You were
such an excellent actress then. I was totally deceived by your performance
then. I rushed into the car in my nightgown and went to your house. What was
the time then? I’ve forgotten. Finally we found an unconscious Li Mei (李美) lying in the
dark corner of the basement. And the doctors even flushed the cork of the drug
bottle out of your stomach. MEI And I won the
house and the fattest bank account without going to the court. LING That’s because He
Qiang had already transferred most of his savings abroad. See how he immigrated
to MEI He went to LING I know that. But
he still lives a comfortable life there. MEI Not as I am here
as a free golden intellectual woman in LING We were still
young then. We are calmer now. MEI I’m wondering why
you are so calm about this affair. Are you sure about his crime? LING Can I sit here
and defame my own husband? Do you think I am calm now? MEI Surprisingly
calm. What did you do to calm yourself down? (LING stares at
Mei for a moment blankly, which makes Mei a little embarrassed. She then
relaxes and starts to speak.) LING Nothing. I sat in
the balcony the whole night last night without closing my eyes or uttering a
sound! I would not cry or anything and make myself a laughable moaning wife. He
didn’t come back last night and didn’t call to inform me of it, as his usual
practice. I walked in straightly at 7 o’clock this morning to cook the
breakfast! It’s Sunday and the caretaker doesn’t come. I washed the old man,
changed his bed sheet and fed him breakfast. Oh, the old man! He has lied in
the bed for two years and never said a word but always moaned. When Zhang Jian
(张建) calls him “Pa”, he moans. When the caretaker washes his body,
he moans. When I say “eat the food”, he moans. And this morning when he had the
breakfast he moaned so much that I moaned with him. MEI Why? LING He moaned because
his bored; I moaned because I was in agony! MEI Does Zhang Jian
care for his father? LING Yes, he does,
only in his noble mouth as he always has, but leaves all the work to me! When
his father had the stroke two years ago and couldn’t live on his own anymore,
all Zhang Jian’s sisters and brothers agreed that they send the old man to the
nursing house. But listen to him! He said he would not let his father go to
that filthy place where the old men like his father were maltreated. And as the
eldest son in the family, he had the responsibility to care for his father in
his own home! (Ling chuckles in a sneer and looks out of the
window distantly.) LING All his brothers
and sisters became anxious to hear his first sentence, and were greatly
relieved to hear the rest of his speech! What a noble thing he had done! Why he
doesn’t behave the least nobly to his own wife and family? MEI Well, all his
brothers and sisters live in the countryside and are busy with their own
living. Who would have the time and energy to care for an old disabled man? Of
course they were glad to hear this. LING And we fetched
the old man here from his small earth cottage in Zhang Jian’s home village.
Then his used his sweet words and honeyed phrases to flatter me. He successfully
threw the bag to me! Since then I became a pitiable housewife. No, a mere
servant and housemaid. MEI You shouldn’t
have agreed to quit your job and crouch in the family. You ignored my advice
then. Hiring a caretaker will solve all the problems. LING He said hiring a
caretaker had no difference from the nursing house. We shall hire one, but I
need to be home and supervise her work. MEI A foolish trick
to tie you to the house ever since, and you fell into the trap! (Ling lowers her head and meditates. She heaves a
slow breath out.) MEI You were simply
not determined enough to say no. LING Not determined
enough! Softness is not me! When I gave birth to Pingping(平平), he tried every
way to urge me to stay home. Even my Mom advised me to leave the job and be a
housewife to raise the baby. What did I say? I didn’t agree! I love my job in
the museum. It is not pressing and boring at all. And I was to be promoted to
the director of the Ancient Architecture Department when I quitted at that
time. MEI Then why did you
give up at last? I told you again and again if you ever walked inside home, you
would find no opportunity to walk out. LING (softens her voice) He said he had always
wanted to let his father live with him and enjoy some good life. But he thought
that would increase my burden and didn’t do it. Now his mother had died and his
father was paralyzed, he wanted to fulfill his longtime wish. (Ling lapses into an air of sorrow.) LING And Pingping was
about to take his College Entrance Examination. I wanted to take good care of
my son then and saw him go to a good university. MEI Anyway, you
softened your mind. LING I thought a
person has to make some sacrifice in life. MEI Sacrifice? Do not
mention sacrifice. And never make sacrifice to a man. The more sacrifice you
make, the more sacrifice he will ask of you. LING True, it’s true.
They keep asking more and more till they rack the last drop of blood out of
you. And they never appreciate your sacrifice when they betray you. MEI Men are
cold-blooded animals. (A pause.) He Qiang called
several days ago. Playing golf with some leaders of Chinese community in that
Canadian city he lives. He said his wife and he would be more than welcome if I
visited them. His wife! He laughed in his habitual fake disgusting way that he
hadn’t changed for so many years. I would spit him on his face if it were not
on telephone. LING When will Feifei(非非) come? MEI He called me for
this, saying she was to arrive next weekend. LING Why doesn’t
Feifei learn Chinese? So you mother and daughter can talk directly without He
Qiang. MEI He Qiang said she
learned Chinese in (She smiles faintly.) Remember she came
to your house with me and she read every character on the landscape painting?
Chunjiang Shuinuan Ya Xianzhi. (春江水暖鸭先知). She was such a talkative
soul then. (A brief silence.) MEI (sadly) But turned silent
after our divorce. I think it’s just she doesn’t want to talk to me. LING She must be a
young lady now. Then why she insists on coming back, after so many years? MEI I don’t know. (She ponders for a while.) Will she still
call me Mom? (A pause.) But she never
calls that woman Mom �"ha�" she likes me in this. An iron mind. Do nothing I
don’t want. LING If you truly had
an iron mind, you would have not let go of her when you divorced. MEI If you had it,
you would not have quitted your job then. LING Well, women are
genuinely soft species, not as hard as men. That’s why it is the women who are
always hurt. MEI No, women are not
soft, but warm. (They are silent for a while.) LING I had to admit
you are tougher than me. I would rather die than having my 2 years old baby
snatched out of my breast. MEI I hope Feifei can
forgive me. She will understand her Mom. She is an independent girl. MEI (Continued) He Qiang said he
had intended to send Feifei to travel to LING She is a good
girl. MEI But�"but she had
her Dad book the hotel�" LING She will not live
with you? (Mei shakes her head in confusion.) LING Well, she has to
adjust herself for some time. LING (Continued) Every one needs
an adapting time. When Zhang Jian’s father came, I was so sick of having a
moaning old spirit lying in the bed only a wall away from me. In late night, I
heard his moaning. That really scared my mind out of my corpse. Now when I
heard his rhythmical moaning, I want to dance to it. Ha-ha�"weird, though. (Mei sees her friend with a curious expression, a
little disgusted. Then she lowers her eyelids and lets out a long breath.) MEI I’m so
sympathetic with you and your sufferance. LING This morning when
I spoon-fed him, he slowly opened his eyes and surveyed me up and down for many
times with his grey sad eyes. Then he closed his eyes and stopped breathing!
Then he opened his eyes and smiled! Oh my god! He smiled with the only few
muscles in his wrinkled face. Weird and frightening smile! His head even
trembled a little. I nearly dropped the bowl to the floor. (Ling opens her mouth wide and gasps as she puts her
tea cup on the table. Mei can’t hide her surprised look and calms down later.) MEI What a dying man! LING I think I know
him. Really. More than anybody else. I understand him. A man waiting for his
death. Or aspiring for death! (A long silence.) MEI I think it is he
who calms you down from madness of his son. Huh�" LING To be honest, I
myself was surprised by my calmness. Yesterday afternoon when I saw Zhang Jian
holding a young woman in his arms, my heart throbbed, but for less than ten seconds.
I did not run to them and shout around. I did not call him to question him. I
did not even stop nodding to the saleswoman in the shop! Pingping called me
when I was just back home, I said everything was OK. Perhaps I was not calmed
down by the old man. I was calmed down by my strong feeling of loneliness. MEI Loneliness�" LING The emotion of
loneliness totally overwhelmed me when my heart stopped throbbing. I told the
saleswoman to wrap the dress for me and drove home feeling as if I were a small
sparrow flying north with the flock of wild geese. A single raven groaning in
the remote willow tree under the setting sun. MEI I know. I know. LING No, you wouldn’t
know that bitterness when I put down the phone of my son, went upstairs and saw
that dying old man lonely in bed! MEI Oh, my. (Ling has tears in her eyes.) MEI You really calmed
down. You are always a calm person. I remembered when we were juniors in
college. You already had been together. One day we saw Zhang Jian carrying he
famously flirtatious girl in the chemistry department on his bicycle and they
talked happily and laughed. We were enraged and hurried back to the dormitory
to inform you. You were watering the flowers and grasses that you grew in the
balcony. You heard our hasty descriptions and didn’t even raise your eyelids! LING I trusted him
then. MEI Then why not now?
Did you mistake somebody else for him? LING He is a different
person now. He was a simple and honest young man walking out from the
poverty-stricken mountains then. Now he tries every way to dig out who is the
father of his business competitor’s wife. MEI How time flies!
We are all very different now. LING One thing that is
not different in me is that I am as dedicated and honest to our relationship as
ever! MEI (pouts) That’s because
you have no choice. LING No choice! Have
you forgotten the piles of love letters I used to throw in the dustbin? You
picked all them up and collected them, saying you were going to design an
exhibition center for them. MEI (giggles) I did design an
exhibition center, but it’s for gravestones. All kinds of gravestones are
there. And the patron of the center is such an eccentric man that I imagined
him to be a living gravestone to commemorate his lost sense! LING And how Mom had
wished me to marry the young colleague of Dad. And I could be a teacher too
after graduation so that we could stay in the college with them. MEI I mean the
choices after your marriage. LING After the
marriage�" MEI Once after the
marriage, a woman becomes a nail already hammered to the fence, a button
already sewn to the sleeve. Men can marry and remarry and remarry as if it is a
natural course bestowed by God, and women are destined to hang themselves up in
one tree. LING After the
marriage, Mom was mad at Zhang Jian when he said that we were to go to Shenzhen
to create a world of our own and design skyscrapers out of the barren and
destitute land there. But Dad, he raised his head from the piles of books on
his desk and said, “Let them go. It’s a good thing for young people to have the
aim of serving the construction of the country.” MEI Oh, your father�"he
was a reputed professor in the mathematics department. The classroom was always
filled with students in his Advanced Mathematics course. LING And Zhang Jian
even didn’t attend his funeral last year! He briskly boarded the plane to (The tears in
Ling’s eyes eventually brim out.) LING I asked her to
stay longer instead of coming back to the shabby crowded apartment on campus
and living alone. She said there was already an old man in my house as my
burden and she could still live on her own. I insist on not letting her go. She
bought a ticket secretly by herself and left. How can I�" (Ling chokes and then sobs.) MEI Ay, she probably
is more free and at ease on herself, as I am now. Out of the binding of family. LING When you are out
of the binding of family, you have lost it. MEI That’s better
than when you are still inside the binding of family, and you have lost it. LING (forcefully) Lost! MEI Cruel, but true. (Ling stands up, does nothing, and falls down in the
sofa, in hatred.) LING What does family
mean to a woman? MEI That depends. But
definitely different from what it means to a man. LING What have I lost? MEI Well, you haven’t
lost all, but definitely more than you have gained. LING No! I have lost
all! All. (Neither of them speaks. Ling stops sobbing. Mei
stares at Ling confusedly. The rhythmical moaning of the old man can be heard
from upstairs and the sound becomes more and more distinct.) MEI Do you want to
dance to it, huh? LING (exalted suddenly) Yes, I do! I do.
My body moves with it now. I want to moan with him, too. Oh, what a melody! The
melody of human. Listen�"sing�"ha-ha�" (MEI is shocked to see the sudden excitement of Ling
at the sound of moaning. She seems to be excited by Ling’s emotional burst, but
returns to sense soon.) MEI Does he always
moan so loudly as this? LING (still drowned in her fantasy) Not as loud as
this, perhaps. And not so charming and exciting. I like it�"I like�" (Mei is alert now
and speaks in a grave tone.) MEI Have you had
lunch yet? LING No, I haven’t
found the time to prepare for it. MEI Oh, my. What did
you do all the morning? (She looks at her watch.) I came here at
about 2 thirty and it’s already four. He must be very hungry. LING Hungry? Not
hungry. He is just too bored and wants to sing a little bit to entertain
himself. MEI: Oh�"Ling�" When
will the caretaker come back? (Mei finds Ling is maddened by the moaning. She goes
to the TV and turns it on. A singer is singing. We can hear the singer singing,
“Our love is as light as the air, but that’s more than I can bear.” Ling
returns calm from the zeal. She sits back in the sofa and closes her eyes. Mei
crosses her legs and relaxes. After some time, Ling opens her eyes and speaks.) LING Pingping called
yesterday and seemed to have told me something about his girlfriend. He grows
up now. Always a good boy. MEI A good boy, yeah.
Three years older than Feifei. When Feifei left for (Both of them smile.) LING He told me his
Dad was a stranger to him for a long time. But Zhang Jian is to blame. He cares
nothing about his son. Whenever I talk about Pingping, he is disinterested and
says nothing. MEI He is not glad
that his son doesn’t take architecture as his major. LING Nonsense�"his son
is different from him. He can’t make his son live a life like him. MEI Well, men’s minds
are weird. LING Perverted! I say
Zhang Jian’s mind is perverted now. MEI Not perverted,
but returns to the original. As a man ages, he returns more and more to his
original state of mind, that in his childhood. He grew up in a poor mountain
village. He must have hoped every able man could build better houses than those
earth cottages he saw. LING Then early in his
childhood, he even dreamed of finding one woman after another! MEI Well, he must be
very lonely in his childhood. LING (coldly) Excuses. There
are excuses for every evil deed in this world. MEI No one is born an
angel. LING Then is everyone
born a devil? MEI Calm down, my
friend. Ok. I’ll take you out for dinner. I need to call the caretaker to come.
What’s her phone number? LING She is supposed
to be here soon. At 7. MEI That’s good.
We’ll leave a message to her to take care of the old man. (An advertisement of paint is on the TV. Ling turns
her head to watch it and murmurs.) LING Paint. MEI Zhang Jian once
did the paint business, yes? LING My life is
painted white by him. (Mei takes to remote controller of the TV and turns
it off.) MEI You are crazy.
You find him in everything. You can live a life without him. Without a man.
Just as I am doing and have been doing for so many years. LING You are tougher
than me. MEI Am I? LING Yes! MEI I only see things
clearer than you. Look around at the circle we are in. At this city. This
corrupt city. How many families are breaking every day? How many women are
being betrayed every night? Hundreds. Thousands. There are so many women who
are just like you. It’s so frequent and prevailing that it is righteously
normal and reasonably natural. Stop enclosing yourself in the closet and
pitying on your sorrowful experience. Accept it and make your choice. It just
happened. LING Choice! Is there
any choice for me? MEI Forgive him! LING I can’t. Mei Then forget him! (Ling sits down. Mei walks closer to her. They are
silent for a while.) LING I found I have
forgotten the color of my dress on our wedding. I asked him for it. He said it
was red. I checked the photo album and found I wore a white dress, and a pair
of black shoes. Mom scolded me for it, saying it was not auspicious. MEI Twenty years is
really a long time, and it changes every thing. See how Shenzhen has changed in
all these years. We as the builders witness it. The other day I came by the No.
7 middle school. I designed the teaching building the second year I came here.
It was the tallest building in that area then. Even the mayor marveled at its
height at the opening ceremony of the school. Now it is only a dwarf! LING In the 1980s, we
worked hard in poverty and adversity, but we were happy. In the 1990s, we were
busy making money, and became lost. In the new century, we sit to enjoy the
convenient life, but we are desperate! MEI In the 80s, we
dreamed. In the 90s, we confused. In the new century, we depraved. LING We are old now. MEI Aged. But we are
still holding the responsibility of life. We still have to right to pursue for
better. LING I have never been
so helpless. MEI You lost your
prop. LING I have never had
a proper prop in me. MEI That’s why you
collapsed so thoroughly. LING I will pick up my
pieces and struggle to fight. MEI Don’t to struggle
to fight. Struggle to survive. LING Survive? That’s
too weak! MEI To survive. You
need to be strong to do it. LING I can be
stronger. MEI Few people are
weaker than women in their post-middle-ages. LING I’m not a
porcelain doll. MEI You are as
fragile as a mirror. LING But when the mirror
breaks into pieces, any fragment can cut your throat. MEI You are blind
now. LING I have never seen
so clear. MEI What do you see? LING The sword of
justice in my hand. The crown of love on my head. MEI (sarcastically) How poetic that
is! LING We are too soft.
So they ignore us. MEI They ignore us
because they are ignorant. LING I will not
tolerate. Mei Then you will
suffer. (A silence.) LING Last night in the
balcony. I met YU [玉]. MEI Who�"who? LING She said we three
sisters in the same dorm went to Shenzhen together and she left the earliest. MEI What�" LING She said how she
regretted that she had refused to choose one of the many courters around her
knees and marry one of them. MEI Jiang Ling (江™)! Stop talking
nonsense! She’s dead! LING Now she is
tortured by loneliness of lying there along in the barren hill. MEI She is not
lonely. We visit her so often. And the trees we planted around her. There are
so many birds there. LING She told me a
husband was somebody you should grasp and control, instead of somebody who
grasped and controlled you. (A silence.) LING She said she had
always admired Zhang Jian and me, almost envious. Since we were in college. MEI Admire! You know
she also liked him, but quitted competing for him with you. LING Yes, she left him
to me. MEI Not leaving him
to you. She just quitted. LING And I lost him! (A pause.) I sinned, against
a dead. MEI It’s your husband
who sinned. He sinned against a dead, and an alive. LING I will not
forgive him, for Yu’s sake. MEI (She lowers her head.) For Yu’s sake,
you might need to forgive him. LING Why? (Mei is silent. She wrings her finger with a ring on
it.) MEI You know how did
Yu die? LING (surprised) A falling steel
bar from the building under construction. MEI Maybe it’s time
to tell you. We didn’t intend you to know it. (Ling stares at Mei in curiosity.) MEI Can you remember
the day when the accident happened? It’s a Sunday, like today. LING Yes. Oh, yes. MEI We took a day off
from hard work. All of us engineers in that construction plot did. But not
Zhang Jian. He is the chief engineer. The project still went on in Sundays. LING Yes. I know. MEI That Sunday, Yu
went downtown with a man who she probably would have married if she hadn’t
died. LING Then why she
appeared in the unfinished building and had a steel bar hit her head? MEI The man proposed
to her. He begged Yu to marry him in a flower shop. LING Oh, did�"did she�" MEI She did not. She
didn’t promise the man immediately. But I believe she would, probably later.
She had always wanted to marry and no longer be the only single one in us
three. And the man, you know him, Hu Shan (胡山) loved her deeply. LING Yes, we met him
on Yu’s tomb, on Qingming Festival last year. LING (Continued) He brought his
wife and daughter along. MEI A dozen of
courters before. Yu rejected them one by one. She told me she wanted to fix
down. LING But why not? She
never told me why she always wanted to marry but always refused to marry. MEI She could not let
Zhang Jian go in her heart. (Ling is shocked.) MEI She said she saw
the shadow of Zhang Jian everywhere in her life. But she could not get close to
him. Because he was already your husband. (Ling remains silent.) MEI She was in real
agony. But she was about to walk out of it, by marrying Hu Shan. LING She did not. MEI No, she did not.
She ran out of the flower shop and directly went back to Zhang Jian that day. LING Ah�" MEI She found Zhang
Jian and asked him. To deny all her hope before truly marrying Hu Shan, I
guess. She asked him was still any possibility between her and your husband. LING Zhang Jian told
you this? MEI Yes, after Yu’s
funeral. But asked me never to tell you about this. And your husband replied,
“My baby is sleeping in Jiang Ling’s body right now.” (Ling weeps. She covers her hands on her face.) MEI And Yu ran into a
corner of the unfinished building after hearing the determined reply. May be to
weep, just as you are doing now. Without wearing a safe helmet. Ignorant of all
the dangers in her despair. (Ling wails. She can’t hold her breath. Mei has
tears in her eyes. She sighs.) LING Yu died for me.
She sacrificed her life for me. MEI It’s fate. LING Fate! Did fate tell
Zhang Jian to betray me? MEI She never tells
one what to do. She just knows what you will do and sits there and laughs.
Coldly. LING You hide so many
things from me. MEI Zhang Jian didn’t
want to increase your guilt. He must be very guilty then. I tell you this to
want you to cherish your husband. He did love you. Cherish him, for Yu’s lonely
spirit in the hill. LING Yu told me. She told
me to cherish him in our wedding. In tears. I never knew her pain, and
loneliness. (Ling is calmer now. She folds her arms before her
breast and lets out a long breath.) LING I want to visit
Yu’s parents some day. MEI We will go
together. LING Will you have
time? I mean you have a company to take care of. MEI I think it’s you
who will not have time. The vice manager will see to the company. He has been
in charge of most of the business since May. LING Since you knew
Feifei would come? MEI I want to spend
some free days with her. I owe her too much. But will she want me to stay with
her during her stay? LING Of course she
will. She comes to see you. MEI May be. I’m in
real anxiety now. I can lose my business, but not her anymore. (A pause. Mei sighs.) But I have
already lost her. LING Yes, it’s me who
has no time. I can not go anywhere while the old man is in house. I had always
intended to see Mom. The other day I called her. I can sense she is really very
lonely. She nagged to herself in such a desperate way. We went back to visit her
this Spring Festival. But Zhang Jian could only stay for three days. So he
hurriedly took a plane back to Shenzhen alone. Mom said then I can no longer
tie such a man like Zhang Jian around me. She said he ran wild. I did not pay
any attention then. Now I see. I see! Mom makes sense! MEI She must have
sensed something. LING Mom warned me, in
such a sad way. MEI Old people always
see everything through. But they don’t point them out. They don’t want to
interfere any more. They are tired. LING How can I face
Mom if I go to see her? I can’t. MEI Give you some time
to calm yourself down. You will accept it. So will everyone. You need to
relive, live a life anew. LING I can’t imagine
how I will relive. MEI Time will show.
You need to be strong. LING I can’t face Mom.
I can’t face Pingping. I can’t face all my friends and classmates. MEI It’s not your
fault. It’s Zhang Jian’s. He is to blame. LING But it will be I
who bear the contemptuous eyes of the world! I can’t face the world. MEI Since he can face
it. So will you. LING He is shameless.
I want my reputation. MEI So you mean I’m
an infamous woman since I got divorced so many years ago? LING I don’t mean it.
But�" MEI You are a coward! (Ling is speechless. She stands up and starts to go.) LING I’ll bring you a
cup of coffee. MEI No. A glass of
water is OK. (Ling walks off. Mei sits in the sofa alone. She
closes her eyes and rubs her temple. Then she gazes on the Chinese landscape
painting on the side wall. The moaning of the old man is heard again and seems
to be louder than the previous fit. Mei rises slowly and listens to it
intently. Ling walks in with a glass of water and a cup of coffee. Ling gives
the glass of water to Mei and goes to sit.) LING How I love the
moaning! I used to listen to it with a cup of coffee. Enjoy the beautiful solo! MEI I’ll go upstairs
and see him. (Mei puts the glass of water on the table and goes
to the stairs.) LING It’s a pity he
can’t say hello to you. (Mei climbs on the stairs for several steps, halts
and turns back to Ling.) MEI He stops moaning.
Can he hear me coming? LING Yes, he has
sensitive ears. He always opens his eyes wide and holds his breath when the
caretaker hums the melody of his hometown. MEI Oh, the caretaker
can hum the melody of his hometown? LING They come from
the same county. Dabie Mountains [大别山] in eastern Hubei. MEI Then he must know
I’m coming and stops moaning. He may need something and wants someone to come
to settle it. LING He is just lonely
and wants to attract attention. MEI He hasn’t had her
lunch. (Mei turns back and climbs on. She now stands on top
of the stairs and pushes the half open door full open. She looks inside the
room.) MEI Oh, what a mess!
What have you done? LING What have I done?
I have agonized because of what I have been done to. MEI There is porridge
all over the quilt. How did you fed him? Oh, what a miserable old man! (A pause.) He opens her
eyes. (A pause.) Oh, he moves his
head slightly. He turns his head toward me. (He is frightened a little and shudders.) Oh, he looks at
me. Do you know me, poor old man? MEI (Continued) (She turns downstairs.) He really has the
sad eyes that touch me deeply. How I sympathize with him! (Mei walks downstairs.) MEI A man lying in
bed for two years! See nothing but the ceiling. I will use euthanasia if I were
like this. LING The important
thing is the despair that you can not get rid of. Lapsing into despair is ok.
Being not able to get out of it is most gnawing. MEI (softly) The despair must
have tortured you for so long. LING (desperately) I don’t want to
live like this anymore. MEI Then think of
changing. LING I’m powerless
now. MEI At least try it
before drowning yourself in the pain. LING I will. I will. MEI Relax first. I’ll
take you to dinner. We’ll find a nice place to have a rest and forget all
these. LING Perhaps. Perhaps. (Mei stands up. Ling also stands up.) LING Ok. Let’s go.
Let’s go to find hope. MEI Let’s go to
relax. (They walk off stage, arm in arm.) SCENE II At Rise: The parlor is dark and empty. It is
night already. The sound of the washing machine can be heard from the back. The
gate of the villa is opened. And then the light. We see a middle-aged man in
blue suit. He is ZHANG JIAN, the host of the house. He is in good body shape,
strong but not crude, wearing a pair of golden glasses. He carries a black
leather briefcase. He walks to the sofa in the middle of the stage, put down
the brief case on the table and takes off his jacket. He surveys the parlor and
calls. ZHANG Ling! (Nobody answers. He sits down. A lady of about
thirty comes out from the back. She wears an apron around her waist and has a
dark skin and wrinkled face. She is the caretaker, ZHAO FENG (赵凤). She has the
air of usual shrewdness of aged countryside woman.) FENG Mr. Zhang, you
are back. I’m doing the laundry. ZHANG Ling is not home? FENG No. When I came,
Mrs. Zhang has already left. ZHANG Do you know where
she has gone? FENG She left a note
for me, saying she went out for dinner. And let me take care of the old uncle. (Zhang
Jian frowns.) ZHANG Is he well? FENG Yes, I’ve fed him
dinner and washed him. And�" ZHANG And what? FENG Changed the quilt
and bed sheet and his clothes. ZHANG OK. FENG (hesitates for a while before speaking again) When I came this
evening and went to uncle’s room, I�" (Zhang looks at
her and urges her to continue.) FENG I found the
porridge all over the bed, the quilt and uncle’s clothes and even face. I don’t
know what happened. I left this morning and all things were all right. (Zhang Jian is slightly surprised to hear this. His
face turns grim.) ZHANG OK. Give me a
glass of water. (Feng cleans her hand on the apron and starts to go
to the kitchen. Zhang Jian leans back and looks at his watch. He then heaves a
long breath. Now his cell phone in the pocket of his jacket rings. He takes the
phone out and looks at the phone. His face shows an expression of annoyance. He puts
the phone down on the table. Feng walks in with a glass of water. The phone now
stops ringing. Zhang Jian takes the water.) ZHANG Does my wife say
when will she be back? FENG The note does not
tell so. ZHANG You have many
clothes to wash? FENG It’s about to be
finished. (Feng goes back to her laundry. Zhang Jian is alone
again. He gazes upstairs. Now his cell phone rings again. Zhang Jian takes it
up, looks at it and sighs. Then he answers it.) ZHANG Hello. (…) Yes,
I’m home now. (…) At my home! (…) Do you have anything to say? I’m tired. (coldly) I’ll see to it.
(…) I say I’ll see to it! What can I do now? (angrily) Whatever you
want! It has nothing to do with me. (…) No. (…) No. (…) No. I’ll hang up. Do
never call me when I’m home, OK? (…) I always warn you. (…) You have destroyed
me. Totally! (He hangs the phone and throws it to the table. The
then looks around vaguely. He takes up the glass of water and drinks quickly.
He finishes the glass of water and puts the glass down. Feng comes in and
starts to go upstairs. She lowers her head as she passes.) ZHANG My father must
have been asleep? FENG Um�"He sleeps very
little. But maybe she falls asleep now. I turned the light off for him and he
did not make any sound. ZHANG It’s good. (Feng continues to walk upstairs. Zhang Jian goes to
turn on the TV. Some romantic drama is on. The hero and heroine are hugging and
talking their love. He watches for a while, then quickly becomes impatient and
goes to turn it off. Feng goes down with a vacuum cleaner. She begins to clean
the floor of the parlor.) ZHANG Why not do the
cleaning in the morning? FENG OK�"I�"I�"just�" (Feng stops there and can not say anything,
red-faced.) ZHANG Ling told me you
are also from the county I come from? FENG Yes, Mrs. Zhang
also told me. I come out with my husband to Shenzhen. ZHANG Do you have any
child? FENG Yes, one son. He
lives with his grandma back home. (Zhang Jian nods knowingly.) ZHANG What does your
husband do? FENG In a construction
plot. ZHANG Where? FENG In the southern
suburb. Near the bay. Build some stadium. ZHANG I know. How much
can he earn? FENG Um�"120 Yuan per
day. A very hard work. (Zhang Jian
thinks a while and raises his head.) ZHANG Have you been
here for a full month? FENG No. Still have
several days to go. ZHANG OK. We’ll give
you a fair pay. FENG Thank you, Mr.
Zhang. You and Mrs. Zhang are good people. But it is really hard to work in
your house. An old man to take care of all day and night, you know. ZHANG OK. We’ll pay you
what you deserve. FENG I know, Mr. Zhang. I cooked uncle egg custard
for dinner just now. How he liked it! He had a full bowl of it. As if he hadn’t
had his lunch. (She stops abruptly. Zhang Jian turns his head to
the door, indignantly.) FENG Oh, Mr. Zhang.
It’s late. I’ll go to uncle’s room and sleep. He usually wakes up frequently
all through the night. ZHANG Bring me a cup of
tea before you go. FENG OK. Mr. Zhang. (Feng goes to the kitchen. Zhang Jian stands up and
walks to the several architecture models in the right side showcase. He looks
at them carefully. Feng comes in with a cup of tea. She sees Zhang Jian and
hesitates.) FENG Here is your tea,
Mr. Zhang. (Zhang Jian does not move.) ZHANG OK. (Feng puts the tea on the table and goes upstairs.
Zhang Jian is still in his deep meditation. Then his cell phone rings again on
the table, interrupting his pondering. He turns his head and sighs. He goes to
the cell phone and answers it.) ZHANG (To the
phone.) Yes? No? It
doesn’t matter. (He turns back to the architecture models and walks
to it again.) All these. They
don’t matter to me at all, now. (…) I hope�"no�"I hope�" (He falls into a long silence, listening to the
other side of the line.) Yes. (His voice turns down gradually.) Uh�"Mm�"mm�" (Suddenly he
walks to the center of the stage and turns excitement. He raises his voice.) Listen. Love. Huh?
I do not believe in it any more. But I have a family. A son. A father. And a
wife�" (The door opens abruptly. Ling enters alone. She is
a little drunk. Her face is red. She walks slightly unsteadily. Zhang Jian
suddenly stops and looks at Ling. Ling notices him and halts there, gazing at
him. She takes several breaths to calm down as Zhang Jian now resumes his
talking.) ZHANG Yes, I’m listening.
(…) OK. (…) OK. (…) I’ll call you back when I’m ready. (He hangs the phone and turns to Ling.) ZHANG You are
eventually back. (Ling turns to the kitchen and walks to it. Zhang
sits down on the sofa. He sees the cup of tea, takes it up and drinks it. He finds it not to his taste and puts it down,
disappointedly. Ling walks in with a glass of water. She goes to sit directly
on the sofa on the left side. She drinks some water.) ZHANG Had a good time
tonight, huh? (Ling gives him
no response. She continues to drink the water. The she smiles coldly to her
husband and replies.) LING Very good. Thank
you. ZHANG With whom? Li
Mei? (Ling makes no response. Zhang Jian smiles
contemptuously.) ZHANG Leaving the
hungry old man at home alone for the whole day? LING The whole day?
Well. A whole day. Not for the whole two years. ZHANG So you left him
uncared and went out, for a day! LING Not leave him
uncared for two years. That’s what you did! ZHANG I have my work to
do. LING I had, too! ZHANG So you are still
indignant about giving up your work! Work! So many wives had given up their
works for their families and I don’t see anybody keep complaining like you do.
Is your work your all? LING Yes! Now I see.
It’s the rest of my life. It’s my all! ZHANG OK. Then drop your
family and go to find your work. LING Family? Do I have
a family now? ZHANG You do not. You
do not have a family here. But get one in the museum. Just go to find it. LING Definitely not
here! I have no family here! ZHANG What a
b�"barbarous woman! I wonder what’s in your eyes, and your heart! LING In my heart? I
have a dream. A dream of a good husband, a loving son. A dream of life. Such an
unrealistic dream! ZHANG What do you want?
I’ve never been so confused. LING I want simply a
family, a life. ZHANG Nonsense. Are
women of 40s are all crazy? LING Yes. They are not
as agreeable as young girls in their 20s. (Zhang Jian is silent for a moment.) LING Yes. Those young
girls are attractive, lovable. That’s because life has never tortured them yet.
The time will come, for every woman. It will drive every woman crazy. In their
40s. (Zhang Jian stands up abruptly and walks to the
stairs.) LING Whenever I see
young girls in their flowery age, I pity on them. Genuinely from my deep heart.
Because I see a miserable life facing them in their older ages. They will be
betrayed, deserted, or even driven to craziness. They can not escape. (Zhang Jian halts and turns to Ling.) ZHANG How I see a
perfect model of craziness for them here! LING What an evil
witch I am! For two years I�" (Ling puts the glass on the table. She lowers her
head and sobs. Zhang Jian walks back to her.) ZHANG Li Mei must have
instilled those stupid ideas of hers into your mind! LING Now I see few
people are less stupid than I am! ZHANG You must know she
is different from you. She has no family. She is single and is free to do
anything without having to shoulder any responsibility. LING Responsibility!
I’m ashamed to mention it. ZHANG You have it.
Always have. Responsibility of a family! LING Do you have the
responsibility of a life, too? ZHANG Yes, of course. I
work to support the family. LING Work? What do you
work for? ZHANG For the family. LING Shame! (Both of them are silent. Zhang Jian sits on the
sofa.) ZHANG Why are you so
angry today? LING I’m not as
comfortable and gay as you are. ZHANG Who says I’m
comfortable? LING Comforted by�"by
the holiday you have�" ZHANG Ah�"I went to LING Ha�" ZHANG You’ve also been
there for so many times�" LING Shame! ZHANG Do you want to
sing a song of shame today? LING What a good idea! ZHANG What a crazy
woman! LING I have to be
crazy! (Silence.) ZHANG What happened? LING Well, a lot of
thing did. ZHANG Did Li Mei tell
you anything? What did she tell you? LING A lot of things,
things that I can’t even imagine. ZHANG About me? LING About everything. ZHANG Oh God. LING Yes! She told me
everything I need to know. What life should be. What a family should be. What a
woman should be. ZHANG You women! (Silence. He lets out a brief breath.) ZHANG You drank too
much. Go to take a bath before going to sleep. It’s already late. LING It’s early. A
night is always early for a lady. ZHANG Damned Li Mei! LING Dare you curse her
like that! ZHANG Do you want to
know how many men she has slept with in our circle? LING Stop it! ZHANG (sneers) Everyone knows
she flirts with all the young men in her company. LING She is also your
classmate from college. ZHANG It’s a good thing
He Qiang divorced her early. She must like it to death. For she was so
boundless to be single again. Even gave up her child. LING Damn you! (She stares at him in anger.) LING Damn you all men! (Zhang Jian rises and goes back to the kitchen. Ling
lean back and closes her eyes. The moaning of the old man can be again heard,
ever louder. Ling hears it and opens her eyes wide, in excitement. She stands
up and walks to and fro as the moaning becomes rhythmical. Zhang Jian enters
from the kitchen with a glass of water and also hears the moaning. He notices
the over-excited reaction of Ling to the moaning and looks at her in surprise.) ZHANG What the hell are
you thinking all day? I can’t understand. (Ling stops walking and looks at her husband.) LING Do you know I’m
also paralyzed as your father is? Do you know I’m in more severe pain than he
is? Do you know how I suffer everyday? Do you know how desperate I am? After
nearly 20 years’ marriage, I suddenly realized I have long lost my heart to
love and accept love. And yesterday�" ZHANG (alert) Yesterday? What
yesterday? LING Yesterday when my
heart was stabbed by the cruel dagger, I bled! But I did not feel pain at all.
I’m numb. What a terrible disease that is! ZHANG What are you
talking about? (He sits down and drinks the water. Ling walks to
his side and stares down at him.) ZHANG What’s that for? (Ling is silent and gazes at him angrily.) ZHANG What do you want? LING (firmly but desperately) I want justice. ZHANG What justice? LING I want a life! ZHANG Mad woman! (Ling steps back and halts. Then she slowly sits
down on the sofa and her face becomes tender.) LING I was wrong. I
was wrong. (She shakes her head.) ZHANG Wrong? For what? LING I was wrong to
wear a white dress on our wedding. And a black pair of shoes. Mom warned me.
She did. (Zhang freezes at hearing this.) LING Mom told me to be
kind and respectful to your relatives from the mountain village. Dad held his
tears in his eyes and sighed that his beloved daughter was eventually about to
fly away from the family. (Zhang Jian
lapses into a fit of deep meditation.) LING Yu didn’t appear
until the last moment of the wedding. She held my hand and told me to cherish
our marriage. (Zhang Jian looks at his wife with sad eyes.) LING And your father.
The old man upstairs. I bowed to him. But some of your relatives said I should
kowtow. And I did. I knelt down before him and kowtowed. He is so surprised
that he even knelt down with me. (Zhang Jian seems to have tears in his eyes and
turns his head to another direction.) LING And Mr. Lin, our
class tutor in college. He drank one cup of liquor after another, calling for
all our classmates gathering around him to go south and build the development
zone here. (Zhang Jian sighs deeply.) LING But I was wrong.
I was wrong to make that decision. A mistake that can never be made up for
anymore. All these things are gone. Long gone. (Zhang Jian rises and leaves quietly. He goes up the
stairs to the bedroom the rest.) LING Gone�" (Ling starts to
weep. She sits on the sofa alone, helplessly. She weeps sadly.) (Curtain) © 2013 JhuangAuthor's Note
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Added on February 25, 2013 Last Updated on February 25, 2013 Tags: family ethics, marriage, sacrifice |
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