"Don't say please, she's just a slave!"

Hilarity ensued as the food was made: Discover how the night unfolds.

As the three Narcklocks looked out the window: they noticed the eerie glow of the street lights; illuminating the desolate road against the blackness of the sky.  

 

*insert ridiculously nasally voice* "I'm so hungry!" Dalzona hadn't eaten for two weeks; practically star... well she was um... Okay! She was hungry alright! What else am I supposed to say?!  I would hope that ANYONE who hadn't eaten for two weeks, would at least be a LITTLE bit hungry.  Anyways.  Now that we're back on track, Dalzona and her two friends; Mingoo and Shingoo, decided to make some foodoo. 

 

Shingoo quickly, and I mean creepy-nastily-a*s quickly... Kinda like a spider! Scuttled to the switch on the ceiling and jabbed at it; turning on the light machine things.  These machines gave off such a bizarre spectrum of colours: that if any of it, I'm talking about the colours, touched your retina's; and I mean ANY of it! Not ONLY would your ninety-three eyeballs explode all at once, but your tentacles, your SEVENTY BILLION TENTACLES! Um... they'd just fall off.  And I ain't talkin' about just SOME, of your appendages. I talking about ALL of them.

 

It sure is a good thing that these Narcklocks: only these ones.  There are no other Narcklocks that have these... Trust me on this... I'm serious! Had three had special pairs of sunglasses that fit their um... ninety-three googly eyeballs?

 

Anyways. It's a good thing that those Narckloka creatures; you know what the story I'm telling y'all about's about right? Well, it's about these three Narcklockola thingies remember? Wha... why are you staring at me like that? Your brain... It looks so... Empty. *shudders*  Anyways... It was good that they already HAD their messed up; ninety some'in to do with eyeballs or some'in glasses on. Because Shingoo COMPLETELY forgot about the retina burny thing. And when he... she... it? PS. There was NO warning. Turned on those lights. Let me tell ya. Mingoo and um... oh yeah! Dalzona! Wait what?... Dalzona!? Who would name something Dalzona?  That's just the weirdest name... Wait. What?! Well anyways. Those two Narckloockoo things pitched some kinda fit: let me tell you! I mean they was throwin' shii', tenticles was flailin' everywhuur. It was just a bad scene. Let! Me! Tell! You! 

 

After they were done fighting. So probably like fifty kabillion years later. They, the tentacle eyebally monster thingies, decided to make some food.  At least I think that's what they were doing? Wait! I think I might have called it something else? Hmm... oh well; lost forever. I guess they're making plain food now. Anyways. One of them. And to be honest. At this point I really don't care who. Kinda rolled to the fridge.  She... it... whatever! Moved along almost like I would imagine a water balloon to move.  You know. One that's half filled with jello.  Jello and slugs. Anyways. Picture some weird tentically blob thing, filled with a combination of both; lethargically rolling it's weird blobilly tentacle self along... a floor? I'm pretty sure that whatever the f**k these things are at least have a floor! I mean I'm pretty sure... I think?  I mean... C'MON! What would the fridge be standing on?! And um, wait? Wasn't one of them on the ceiling at one point? *shakes head* Ugh! My brain hurts. So AANNYYWWAAYYSS, like I was saying. There was food that was going to be made. Because I'm pretty sure that when they opened their fridge WAIT! Stop stop stop. I just realized something! What are these kablookah things even doing with a fridge.  The last time I checked, jello slug filled tentacle eyeball monsters do not. And I repeat. DO NOT! Have fridges.  I'm taking that away from the story.  They have no fridge now. It dematerialized. Now, when THAT happened; ALL the kolakah things just stood there and stared blankly. Not even a single one of their seventeen quadrillion eyes were in focus. Like, not at all. I think a few of the eyes might have blinked, but only a few... Anyways, I also imagine that if they had mouths; they would be agape and drooling.  Wait what!? They don't have mouths?! What is this story even about?! I'm SSOO lost.

 

****One hundred and thirty years later****

 

Ok. I've decided what's going to happen.  Because they don't have mouths. Shi shi, Darmon and Poop for Brains all died of starvation.  Most likely due to the fact that they had no mouths.

 

*tone switches to a disneyesque fairy tale blah blah blah. Just a sec. I need to go vomit.*

 

Ok. I'm back.

 

After all was said and done, and the kirlakalaka things dissapeared forever: something magical happened.  The fridge that was once there so long ago; rematerialized.  It felt joyous and happy.  For now, it had the room with the scary light bulb things all to itself.  And since the fridge was immortal, it enjoyed the rest of eternity in peace and quiet.

 

It was beautiful.

 

 

The End.

Author's Note

What I was actually going to write about; was how when I asked Siri to set a timer for our food: I said please. And without skipping a beat. I kid you not! My friend instantly said, "Don't say please, she's just a slave!" As a joke of course. But we died laughing. And I started thinking: I was going to write something political or something about computers being slaves... Whatever. I dunno what this thing is, but apparently it was in my brain. I had a couple good laughs! Maybe you will to?

PS. I am COMPLETELY aware of how absurd this story is. I'm not daft! LOL