The Llama and Murphy's Law

I call this piece "My First Child." I wrote it in grade eleven. We were supposed to write something else, but I chose to do this. My teacher didn't know what to do with herself, so she gave me an A

The Llama and Murphy's Law

 

Once, on a nice, brightly lit day, there was a llama named Nelo. He hated everyone who seemed "inferior" to him, or liked things that he didn't like... so he just hated everyone. That day, he went about his daily routine; insulting everyone he came across like usual. One of those people he insulted just happened to be Mark, the arctic fox who didn't take lightly to insults; especially those that concerned his friends. So, Mark went back and told his friends Jasmine, the red panda, and Dart, the white lion, that Nelo said they were all dumb for not liking Stein Gwefani, the eccentric pop-artist, who sang about Electric Bubbles Popping. They all swore to seek revenge the llama; so they formed a group called… "The People"(Which has absolutely no relevance to the story, but whatever).

 

The next day, The People set out to see the crazed gypsy named Yibbl. (Yibbl was a black wolf with an eye patch covering his right eye. He also had a ginormous hat, which was so big he was able to keep everything he owned in it.) The People were not sure where to go, because they had just heard of him from a fly on the wall. The fly just happened to die from meat poisoning before he could tell them where Yibbl lived. Sooo The People decided to swim across the Ocean of Demise just because. (The ocean had this name because anything that lived in it...died.) While they were swimming across the ocean, a giant squid approached them. "Why are you crossing my ocean?" he demanded! They explained that they were seeking revenge against Nelo, the uptight llama. The squid gave them some advice. "You should go see Yibble. He can put the Murphy's Law Curse on him. That curse is sure to make anyone suffer. Yibble lives in..." Just then the squid died. Probably because he lived in the Ocean of Demise (You think!). The People were very hungry; so they ate the squid. After they had finished Jasmine stated, "That was delicious," for she loved to eat squid.

 

 

Shortly afterward, they continued on their quest to find Yibbl. They had landed on a tiny island, where they came across a mouse. The mouse looked terrified, and for some reason it was standing in a circle made of chalk. The People asked, "Why are you sitting there?"

 

 

"Because if I leave, I will die."

 

 

"Really?" questioned Dart.

 

 

"Yes, because I wanted to seek revenge on a llama named Nelo; so I went to see Yibbl. He said it was wrong to seek revenge and he put the Murphy's Law Curse on me. Now, if I leave this circle, I will die." Then... for no reason at all, Dart stomped on the poor mouse and killed it, grunting, "What a stupid mouse."

 

Shortly after, as they were picking the meat off of the then roasted mouse, they came across Yibbl.

 

"Please Yibbl," The People begged, "put the Murphy's law curse on Nelo."

 

 

"Haven't you learned that seeking revenge on people is wrong?" Yibbl demanded! The People looked around at each other and shrugged.

 

 

"No... not really. Were we supposed to learn something?"

 

 

"What?!" Yibbl yelled in exasperation. "But the squid and the fly died while they were telling you about me! And then you killed that poor mouse for no reason!"

 

 

"Well, of course," said Dart. "The mouse was stupid." 

 

Yibbl sighed. "I'll show you!" he muttered. Reaching into his hat; he pulled out a long yellow stick and waved it around while chanting, "OOGALA BOOGALA!" He then told them that they would all die for being so cruel.

 

 

The People were scared, because they believed Yibbl and they thought they were going to die. So, they drew a big circle made of white chalk around themselves and stayed in it. Dart then ate the chalk and died from a horrible case of chalk poisoning. Eventually Mark and Jasmine died of starvation. Mainly because they were too stupid to leave the circle and look for food. And Nelo and Yibbl lived happily ever after.

 

The End.

 

Well.... not really. Nelo ended up dead from eating the poisoned fly. And Yibbl died because he accidentally put the Murphy's Law Curse on himself.

 

The End - no, really.

Author's Note

I dunno. I think it's pretty funny, so I thought I'd share it with you guys.