If It’s For Real

If It’s For Real

You hug me,

You kiss me,

And you love me,

Everything that you do makes me happy

 

You are everything that is real

The warmth of your body when you hug me,

That when you hug me I hear the words I love you,

A hug that inspires my heart,

Inspires me that you will always be here in my life

 

All that I ever wanted is a life with you,

A lifetime loving you,

‘Cause loving you is what I dream off

A dream of true happiness

 

A true happiness that is with you now in this moment,

A moment when we’re lying in the same bed,

Together as one hugging each other,

This moment that I just want to be only the moment,

This moment that I just want to feel and struck my heart,

And if it is for real, I know it is with you.

 

Reviews

[Samantha J Wright]

The feelings you express in this poem are clearly delineated. The emotional candor is touching and conveyed in suitably consise language.
I would however suggest that if you condensed this poem even further and reduced the repetative phrases a little you would be left with an excellent piece of work.
I particularly like the lines, "You are everything that's real" and also "A dream of true happiness."
Good work and keep working with it until it's right.

[Suditi]

A truly beautiful poem.
I love the theme..because it speaks of love. Just simple pure love.
Minus the problems, the heartache, and other things.
Beautifully crafted poem.

[khalid]

woww very nice,i liked the shaped as well as what was shaped insidethe shap! very nice poemwith so much love andpassion...nice poem

[Clarisse Nanoit]

"‘Cause loving you is what I dream off" ----> I think you mean "of"
That's the only thing I could find to nitpick about. I like this piece (probably mostly because I have real love in my own life and it makes me think of it). I love the last line, especially, but I do feel that this piece lacks character in that anyone with a pen could have written it. Love songs and poems have been saying this type of thing for centuries, and unless you make yours stand out, it can get lost in the background. Some imagery and adjectives would be nice (e.g. "All I ever wanted is a life with you/An indestructible lifetime loving you/'Cause love you is what I dream of/A cotton-candy-scented dream of true happiness." Do you see what I'm saying, how that would add something nice? I mean, those examples might not fit your ideas or anything--just an example of what I mean.) Hope this helps!
KH

[Short.Nerd]

very good

[M Garcia]

Well done

[Brad]

funny how we can tell the actors from the non union actors eh?

[VioletRose]

I like the formatting, I am not sure if I am saying this correctly. So please correct me; I think the last Paragraph thing could use less commas. Im not sure please correct if I am.

[Jazique]

Awe that is so sweet. I love the the ending with 'And if it is for real, I know it is with you." Well done.