Now That You Broke My Heart

Now That You Broke My Heart

I’m crying and grieving,

Grieving for this heart feels nothing but hurt

But there you are,

Acting like you don’t me

 

What did I do for you to hurt me this so bad?

So bad like the way I want you so much

Can you tell me why?

Why you chose to break my heart

 

Didn’t you even notice?

Notice that I’m going to hurt,

This hurting that I just can’t hold any longer

That’s why I’m here,

Crying alone in my bed

 

If you could just see and feel me,

See that I’m crying a river of tears

Feel that I’m dying in this pain,

Pain that you brought to my heart

Now that you broke my heart.

 

......................

Awards:

Amazingly Epic

Jun 2, 2011

• Sad Poetry
• Now That You Broke My Heart

Awesome-tastic Poem

Jun 3, 2011

• Cry Me A River
• Now That You Broke My Heart

7th place - Now That You Broke My Heart

Reviews

[Zackery Alan Daley]

If this poem was not a genuine feeling, I would probably dislike it. It is quite repetitive and cliche, but is greatly out shined by an author's insides spilling into their own work. Very good in that aspect and I commend you for your honest portrayal.

[Jas Alejandrino Ramos]

thank you for that honest critic! :)

[CountNicholasAlti]

I can't help but point out all of the teen-angst filled poetic cliches in this piece in my mind. You really need to make a poem your own, use your own language and metaphors when touching upon sorrow, or else it will drown in that blank sea of thoughtless poetry.

[Jas Alejandrino Ramos]

Thank you for all the reviews! :)

[M.K. Jawdat]

This is nice. Simple but touching

[Jas Alejandrino Ramos]

thank you! :)

[seeeker78]

I could feel the pain more and more with each line I read, I hope it has eased, great write

[Jas Alejandrino Ramos]

thank you! :)

[Jane Doe]

Ahmmmazing!!!:) I loved it! Wonderful and really het touching
Great job!


~abbie
100/100

[Jas Alejandrino Ramos]

thank you! :)

[Kira]

It reads as clunky. It is literally a walking cliche. "Crying a river of tears" is the worst offender. It gives no new perspective and uses repetitive and childish wording to do so. That's all there really is to say.

[KhelticRyder]

To the point. Something that we all go through to make us stronger. Good yet sad read.

[Jas Alejandrino Ramos]

thank you! :)

[Aarontastic]

I felt the same way as the featured reviewer. The form of the poem, the language you used, and the imagery are all kind of bland and unremarkable, but when I read through it, and the raw emotion of it comes through very clearly--it's easy to see how sincere you are when you mention your heart breaking. In a way, the simplicity and the straightforwardness of this poem which would make an ordinary one seem dull reinforce this one's authenticity, so it's almost a strength of it. I know how it feels to go through that so I sympathized with you, and also I know how incredibly tough it can be to write a poem or story based on something so painful, so I think you did a good job just for capturing these feelings when they are obviously still so strong; I know I couldn't do that xp. After a while, when the pain subsides a bit (whenever that may be) these kind of tragedies can be the material for great poems, but in the aftermath of them nobody ever feels like beautifying it.

You did a nice job expressing yourself here and I hope things get better for you soon ;/

[Jas Alejandrino Ramos]

thank you! :)

[Titi Borie]

This is very moving. I can feel the emotion with my own heart. Very excellent work :)

[Jas Alejandrino Ramos]

thank you!:)

[JENY]

I can clearly see a bleeding heart....
very painful....
your lines touched me....
excellent....

[Jas Alejandrino Ramos]

thank you! :)