Just My Heart

I am a big boy in a big world,

A big world that has changes,

Changes that I have to blend in,

Like feelings that twist

 

Simple feelings to confusing feelings,

Confusing feelings that make me think,

Thinking that made me more confused,

Confused this innocent heart of mine

 

Never felt this way before,

Happiness that I felt when I’m with her

I care for her and I make her feel it

Feel what I’m really feeling for her

 

I just let my heart decide,

Decide of what I’m really feeling for her,

Didn’t used logic or any calculations,

Just my heart.

........................

Awards

First Place: Excellent

Oct 4, 2010

• October Love & Darkness rises
• Just My Heart

Reviews

[Helen Woodward]

Just a lovely heartfelt poem Jhas, when you are leading with your heart there is no wrong turn...ever, it seems to have its own wisdom.
Take care with your grammar, use the spell checker in word, that should help.
I loved this piece for its simplicity and promise :-)
Cheers~
Helen~

[Wondering Mind]

Nicely woven phrases. The second stanza stands out in its intertwine, adding effect to the confused affect.

[Robert]

you have done an ok job here, but there are some suggestiongs that i have. the first thing that i noticed was that you are really useing certain words to much. for instence in the first staza you use the word changes 3 times. you might want to think about doing something different like saying "like feelings that twist" by useing different words you open it up to more fresher phrases and more interesting reading. your writeing here is good, a little jumbled but you get your point across. i hope you can use some of these tips to better your writeing.

Robert

[Senseless whatever]

Good write. Thought provoking and full of emotion.

[Danny K]

Reminds me when I grew up. good stuff

[Meijun]

I like how it talks about the innocent side of love. Makes me think of someone who is experiencing love for the first time and thinking of his first love ^^

[Geralyn Miller]

A work worth taking the time to polish .
Think about these changes:
Last 2 lines of first verse: "Changes I must learn to live;
feelings that change."
Last 2 lines of final verse: "Didn't use logic or any calculation,
Just my heart."

I hope you know this is not criticism because your work is not good; but rrather because it is worth taking the effort to help a fellow poet. I know how much I learn from criticism.

[Erin]

It's really sweet and wonderful...your girlfriend must really mean something to you. The tone of being in love really lights your poem on fire; the fluency and word choice all flow together nicely. Good job.
PBP

[Amy]

this is beautiful

[Hello, Goodbye]

good ponderous thoughts here..